Red vs Blue: The Kingdom Hearts 2 Saga
by LOL Party Up
Summary: You're favorite space morons are back! After sleeping for 1 year Sora, Donald, and Goofy finally wake up with their memories restored. Now they must work with the Reds and Blues to help find Riku, Kairi, Mickey, and a way back home...again. All while fighting the Heartless, Nobodies, and Organization XIII. Just like old times reader...
1. You Know What? I Fucking Hate You!

**Red vs Blue: The Kingdom Hearts 2 Saga**

**Episode 1: You Know What? I Fucking Hate You!**

**Alright I deleted Days because I was tired of it and it was not fun for me anymore and no I will never ever ever ever go back to it...ever! So instead I'll give you a recap/summary for it. This chapter is also 5 years old and was first worked on in 2008. But also went through heavy editing and just now got finished. As you may noticed I've been on hiatus for awhile that's because I've been working on chapters 1-6 of KH2 and playing Saints Row 4 along with Fallout 3.**

"Hello and greetings people who I don't know, who maybe reading my words while I am talking. Last time in that other time, Me, Church, Agent Washingtub, and the Master Chef were transported to Gaylight town, because the other teams pirate had a happy shotgun. I was in the bathroom when it happened. We walked around looking for the guy who took small green funny talking guy named Delta from me. We then met the other spiky haired kid, who looks like the spiky haired kid, if he was a super duper Saiyan, and Knuckles. They ate sea salt ice cream which tastes like liquid detergent, I wanted to say hi and give Knuckles a big hug, but I couldn't because Master Chef corpse humped them. We then became friends super fast, like in a minute after thy woke up, but Knuckles for some reason wasn't happy. Maybe because Tucker was not around, he hated Tucker, like me and Church do. Other spiky haired kid thought Master Chef was God, but I think he Is not God, because if he was God I would be having a pony and look like a cowboy. We then went to this new world, which never was a world. We then joined the Men in Black who we fought at the Castle with the spiky haired kid. Church then told everyone he had his own store called Ebay, or was it Amazon, and he sold Simmons' poster to the homeless man who we met in a strange world with vampires everywhere who didn't sparkle, and voices that came from nowhere. other spiky haired kid loved My Little Pony and wanted to meet Batman. The spiky haired kid's boyfriend met with our enemies the Reds at Gaylight Town, but the Reds didn't have Corporal McMuffin. Only Shadow, Tails, Sarge, Simon, and Gruf were there. Much to Riku's annoyance, and his love for the Reds, he let them join him in keeping the spiky haired kid safe, who is sleeping in a pod with Mr. Pantless Duck and Mr. Goofy, I don't know how spiky haired kid is still alive though from not eating. Washingtub told us we'll be helping the Men in Black if they could help us find the Meta. The Meta was nowhere to be found at the world that wasn't a world, but that didn't stop Mr. Washingtub. We also met this hooded lady who never spoke, or took off her hood, her name was Xion which is hard to say because its spelled with the letter Z. She became our new friend to, but Knuckles had sex with her a lot, even at Tucker's rock. We then would go out on missions like baking cookies, play hide and go seek, and kill a lot of Heartless. We had no day off which pissed off Knuckles who hated working, everyday we would go to Gaylight Town with other spiky haired kid, Knuckles, and the lady with a hard name to say. We would go up to the clock tower to eat liquid detergent ice cream, no one fell off the clock tower, but Washingtub would try to do that to Master Chef who thought he never existed even when he fired his gun at him. Then one day Xion meets spiky haired kid's boyfriend at Nosgoth, he called her a fake or her Keyblade fake, I can't remember because I wasn't there. Xion did knock out the Reds however, like in one second. After that, she cried like a baby back at the castle, no wait that was me when Church took my coloring book. She moped and said she wasn't a fake. We spent a year doing missions for the Men in Black, we played hide and seek with Knuckles and other spiky haired Kid, and fought Barney the Dinosaur. Then one day Xion passed out, but she wasn't drunk or on drugs at the time, I think she had a heart attack. Knuckles and other spiky haired kid watched over her for weeks, I would pop in and say Tucker did it. Knuckles would hurt me though. It's still Tucker's fault though. We then had to chase down a fake, who is not Xion because she is not a fake. We searched all over Gaylight Town for him, and we chased him, but then he disappeared. One day Xion went to the very mean Castle Tucker and I were in, it was very spooky to, it had a lot of Men in Black. She met Namine, the nice girl Sora had sex with but won't remember when he wakes up. She told her she had spiky haired kid's memories, which seems like Tucker's fault, because everything is his fault, I wonder if Xion remembers the times I gave spiky haired kid a present? And said if she lives spiky haired kid will never wake up. It makes me a sad panda because I want spiky haired kid to wake up. After learning this Xion left the Men in Black, while Agent Washingtub was getting pissed off at us because we didn't find or kill the Meta, and Church saved a lot of munny by switching to GEICO. What happened next...I forgot...Oh yeah, then Axel and pirate guy who isn't the red pirate went to go find Xion, who then found her at Arkham Asylum. Xigbar, who is the pirate guy, said she looked familiar, because in his mind he saw her as a guy who looked like the other spiky haired kid, but he wasn't the other spiky haired kid either, he looks like he has seen a ghost, then Xion kicks his ass with a potato. Knuckles is then told to find her and hunt her down. The two meet at Gaylight Town near the Castle and Knuckles beats up a girl, which is not nice. Xion loses and is sent back to the world that wasn't. Other spiky haired kid, soon hated the Men in Black and he left them, we also left to our world much to Church's surprise, so did Alan and the Master Chef. In our world We were told to leave the Freelancer base, because everyone hated us there, I rode Church's body with me, because he left it to go with Washingtub to kill the leader of the Freelancers. Then the whole place exploded, which caused me to drop Church's body. The other team who I hate for no reason, told me to go as their puma was out of power, and so I did. At the same time other spiky haired kid, and spiky haired kid's boyfriend were having this big fight with their long Keyblades Star Wars style. Other spiky haired kid was winning, but then the silver haired kid summoned all the darkness, which tastes like red bull, but it doesn't give you wings. He became the guy who pretended to be Michael Jackson, except he had a different voice and sounded like the bandanna guy who smokes in boxes. Not Snake then squished Roxas like a bug with his best friend who wasn't invited but showed up anyway and sounded like Bill Cosby and told everyone to eat Jello. Not Snake then took other spiky haired kid back to the mansion in Gaylight Town where he was put in another Gaylight Town, like The Dominatrix...pssst I think he took the red pill. Oh I forgot to say, other spiky haired kid killed a girl that Knuckles had sex with. Red team then got a new base, I am now trying to do a science experiment, the Taco Bandit still hasn't been caught, and Wash is at jail in Guantanamo...the end!" Said Caboose from Blue base at Valhala.

Over in the middle of the night Sora can be seen standing at a crossroads. Suddenly the words that he speaks appear like text on a screen...

"A scattered dream that's like a far-off memory. A far-off memory that's like a scattered dream. I want to line the pieces up-yours and mine."

Kairi sits on the Destiny Islands beach, making a charm of thalassa shells. A shell is washed away in the water. The scene then changes to Sora, Kairi, and Riku over on the small piece island with the bent palm tree. Sora and Kairi can be seen sitting on the palm tree while Riku can be seen leaning his back against it. Kairi, Riku, and Destiny Islands then vanished like sand in the wind.

Sora then jumped off the palm tree right before it disappeared. A plain white background can then be seen before Sora landed on one of the platforms over at Hollow Bastion with the rising waterfalls. Donald, Goofy, Church, Tucker, and Caboose can be seen right by the Keyblade Master's side with their weapons equipped. Sora jumps up the platforms while slicing through Shadow Heartless with his Keyblade instantly turning them into dust. Once he reaches the top the scene changes to the inside of Hollow Bastion.

Sora then spots Kairi lying on the floor in the Grand Hall of the castle. Sora runs over to the young girl and kneels down beside her and holds her. Shaking her while trying to wake her up from her unconsciousness. Sora then turns his head and sees Riku in front of a giant heart filled with multi colors on the middle of it. Pipes and other things can be seen sticking out of the giant heart shaped contraption.

Riku then turns around and holds out his hand to Sora. A large wave then appears behind him as the scene changes and Sora appears on Destiny Islands. He then runs to Riku with his stretched out in front of him while covered in Heartless blood. The scene then changes back to Hollow Bastion and in the Grand Hall, Sora and Riku's blades clash with one another. Sora then spins and tries to hit him, but Riku then leaps into the air easily avoiding the attack.

Pieces of pixels then fly off him as he falls near the entrance to the multi colored heart known as the Dark Depths, revealing him as Ansem The Seeker of Darkness/Xehanort's Heartless. Sora leaps into the air and slams down his Keyblade near Ansem. The scene changes to The End of the World right before Sora can touch Ansem with his Keyblade the door to Kingdom Hearts opens and light pours out. Ansem shields his eyes with his arm before being destroyed.

The scene then changes over to Kingdom Hearts where Riku can be seen making a promise to Sora as the door closes. The scene then changes back to the Grand Hall. Sora's heart is opened by the dark Keyblade that Riku wielded, and the princesses' hearts are released after stabbing himself with the dark Keyblade. The scene then changes to Sora holding Kairi close to him after changing back from being a Heartless. The scene then changes to Kairi standing on Destiny Islands while staring out at the water.

Day turns into night and lights fall around Kairi as she watches Sora leave. After saying goodbye to him one last time. The scene changes to Kairi standing again at the water, but she is now older and hotter. She has long auburn hair, blue eyes, white shirt, pink zip up jacket, 44 DD tits, black belt, purple like belt resting on her hip, blue, black, and white bracelets on her left hand, and lavender shoes. The scene then changes to Naminé drawing in an art book over at Castle Oblivion.

She can be seen drawing a purple stairway. The drawing then becomes reality as Sora, Donald, Tucker, Caboose, Alan, Church 2.0, Tex, and Goofy can be seen running up the stairs while battling Shadow Heartless. Goofy leaps in the air before smashing one of the Heartless with his shield turning it into black dust. Donald then jumps in the air with his staff raised high above his head. He then performs Thunder on a group of Heartless turning them into a giant black cloud of dust.

Sora slashes his Keyblade horizontally through the black dust. Sora then sees DiZ and a figure in a black hooded zip up jacket through the blue smoke. The scene then changes to a white hall which forms around them and Sora finds himself alone, facing down Marluxia, who smirks upon seeing the young teen. Sora runs forward. Marluxia swipes with his scythe.

Sora flies forward, dodging another swing from scythe. The scene then changes to Riku in Dark Form who leaps backwards, away from a blast from Ansem, catching himself and running forward. Sora and Riku exchange blocks and blows with Marluxia and Ansem as the scene changes back and forth between the two. Sora then throws his Keyblade at Marluxia, who blocks it with his scythe easily. The scene then changes to Sora, Donald, Alan, Tucker, Caboose, Church 2.0, Tex, and Goofy running up through Castle Oblivion's spiral stairs as Riku, Sarge, Grif, Simmons, Donut, Shadow, Tails, and Mickey descend them.

The scene then goes over to Naminé who can be seen drawing in Castle Oblivion, Sora then enters the room. On Naminé's pad is a drawing of Sora inside a capsule. Sora looks down and a capsule blasts up and envelops him. He looks helpless at a sad Naminé. Sora starts to fall.

He soars across the water to Destiny Islands. Naminé closes her pad on a picture of a sleeping Sora. The scene then changes to Sora, Kairi, and Riku lying down hand in hand on the sands of Destiny Island. The scene of Sora, Kairi, and Riku then vanishes before being replaced with a young boy falling underwater. The boy has spiky blond hair, blue eyes, black zip up shirt, throwing star necklace, white jacket with black zigzags, black and white baggy pants, black sneakers with red shoelaces, black and white checkered wrist band on his left arm, and two black and white bands on two of his left fingers.

The young teen finally wakes up and lands on hard ground. He looks around warily but sees nothing. He steps forward, and covers his face as hundreds of birds fly out of a bright light, revealing a platform. The platform is blue with a picture of Sora in the middle of it equipped with his Kingdom Keyblade. Outside the picture Donald, Goofy, Kairi, Riku, Church, Tucker, Caboose, Tex, Sarge, Simmons, Grif, Lopez, Doc, and Donut's faces can be seen.

The young boy watches as the birds fly away. The scene changes once again to a dark ocean beach which is completely black including the water. A figure wearing a black zip up jacket can be seen sitting on a rock looking at the ocean. Another figure with the same jacket on then appears out of a dark portal. The figure sitting on the rock turns to the second figure.

"You have arrived. I've been to see him...He looks a lot like you." The first figure said to the second one.

"Who the hell are you?" The second figure asks the first but his voice cannot be heard.

"I'm what's left. Or...Maybe I'm all there ever was."

"I meant your name...douchebag!"

"My name is of no importance! What about you? Do you remember your true name?"

"My true name...is..." The second figure said while trying to come up with an answer.

Over at Destiny Islands Sora can be seen sleeping on the beach. Kairi's voice can be heard from out of nowhere...and it's all in HD glory reader! Yep another KH HD 1.5 Remix reference...

"Sora."

Sora then awakens on Destiny Islands, and yawns before seeing Kairi hovering right above him.

"Whoa!" Sora says surprised before sitting up off the sand.

Kairi just stands there and giggles at her lazy friend.

"Give me a break, Kai-!" Sora says before the scene switches to another one like a person flipping through channels on a TV screen.

The scene then changes again to Sora and Riku racing each other on the beach.

"Giving up already?" Riku asks Sora while running on the beach.

The scene then changes to Sora, Riku, and Kairi near the bent palm tree overlooking the now twilight sky.

"If there are any other worlds out there, why did we end up on this one?"

Sora gazes at his chalk drawing of him and Kairi in the Secret Place in the next memory.

"This world has been connected. LIQUID!" Ansem says in Sora's memory.

Sora gets up in distress at night over at the crossroads where he, Donald, and Goofy rested at for the night. After chasing Pluto who had one of King Mickey's letters in his mouth...

"Tied to the darkness..."

Sora and Kairi watch the ocean on the dock over at Destiny Islands.

"Sora, don't ever change."

"The door has opened..." Riku said in Sora's memories.

Riku offers his outstretched hand to Sora. Sora runs to him but is stopped by the day when their island was destroyed.

"What?"

Sora stands and faces Darkside on the portrait of Belle in his dream.

"You understand nothing. METAL GEAR!"

The scene then switches to the door behind Kairi in the Secret Place which blows her towards Sora, who readies to catch her.

"So...ra..." Kairi says in a zombie like state.

Kairi vanishes as Sora catches her. Sora is then blown out of the tunnel.

Over in unknown place a room can be seen. The room can be seen filled with a bunch of MLP posters and toys. One of the shelves has MLP DVD's on it. A desk can be seen with a bunch of different MLP objects on it. A bunch of MLP plushies. The boy with blond hair from earlier can be seen lying in bed which has MLP bed sheets and covers. A black Wii U covered in MLP stickers can be seen in the boy's room along with a game called MLP: Fighting is Magic. He can be seen wearing a black and white shirt that said brony on it along with black shorts.

"Oh man I had another dream about some guy I don't even know. I wonder if MLP is on? What do you think Rainbow Dash?" Roxas asked his favorite MLP plushie that he slept with every night in his bed.

**Twilight Town Day 1**

Roxas then looked outside his window. "Hmm just another day huh? At least its Summer break." Said Roxas, "The weather looks nice today, looks like it'll be in our favor." Roxas then watched a episode of MLP which was airing right now, till he got a Twitter message on his yellow smart phone from Hayner.

"Hey Roxas, stop watching MLP already and come meet us at our secret hangout."

Roxas tweeted back to him...

"But it's about Twilight Sparkle discovering she has a craving for pie."

Hayner sends a reply back moments later...

"It's urgent man, I need you to come over."

Roxas is sighed, as he rolled his eyes...

"Alright, but if the Hub doesn't show a rerun by tonight, you owe me."

Roxas then left his house, as he made way to the secret sex spot. There he met up with his fake pals, yes reader they are fake, he is in the Matrix after all. Their names were Hayner, Pence, and Ollete.

Hayner has brown eyes, light skin, dark eyebrows, and spiky, blond hair. He wears baggy, camouflage-print capris pants, a short, sleeveless, grey vest, and a black muscle shirt decorated with a white, crudely-drawn skull and crossbones. His shoes are the same camouflage pattern as his pants, but also sport white tips, grey soles, and each has two intersecting, black belts in place of laces. Hayner also wears a white necklace with a yellow "X" charm on it and a brown bracelet on his left wrist with several silver pins in it. Pence appears to be a rather heavy-set boy with light skin, brown eyes, and black hair and eyebrows. Pence holds his hair up using a black headband with grey lining. He wears a short-sleeved, white shirt with dark cuffs underneath a red jersey with black and white lining. The jersey sports a black silhouette of a seemingly skeletal dog with three bones above it. The phrase "Dog Street" is printed along the left side in large, white letters, He also wears blue pants, blue and white shoes with grey soles, and a purple bandana around his neck. Olette has bright green eyes, soft peach-colored skin, and brown hair. Her hair sticks out on the sides and two strands of hair fall from either side of her head, just long enough to drape over her shoulders. Her clothing has a Summer feel to it, consisting of an orange tank-top with a white floral design at the bottom, khaki-colored capri pants, and orange socks with white hems. She also wears cream, black and yellow shoes with black laces. Olette also wears a beaded, sky blue bracelet on her right wrist and a black necklace decorated with a spherical, sky blue charm.

"Man, doesn't that tick you the fuck off?" Said Hayner while crossing his arms.

"Yeah, that's just wrong. Like the time you thought that transvestite was a real girl." Pence told Hayner.

"Seifer's gone too far this time, it's fucking pissing me off!" Olette replied with anger in her voice.

They look over at Roxas, who only nods. Roxas however was only thinking of the MLP episode, not paying much attention to them.

Hayner then jumps off his seat...

"I mean, it's true that the town's tacos have been stolen around town. And we've got a score to settle with Seifer and everything. He fucking won't quit pissing me off! So if he wants to think we did it, I can't really blame him. See...that's not what really bugs me. What really bugs me is that he's going around telling everybody we're the thieves! Now the whole town and their hoes are treating us like the ghetto club! Have you ever been this fucking pissed off before in your life? Cause I haven't. Nuh-uh, never. Now...what to do guys? Aside from ranting all day like Faux News."

"I don't have a damn clue!" Said Olette not knowing what to say they look over at Roxas, who shrugs them off.

"We could play My Little Pony: Fighting is Friendship on my Wii U." Said Roxas.

"Roxas this is serious, think of the tacos! Mmm...tacos." Pence told Roxas.

"Uh...well...we could find the real thieves. That would set the record straight." Roxas suggested.

"Hey that sounds more fun then eating Oreos while watching 2 Girls 1 Cup." Said Pence.

"What about that asshole Seifer?" Said Hayner.

Roxas stands up and Hayner crosses his arms...

"First, we gotta clear our names. Once we find the real culprit, everyone will get off our backs." Said Roxas.

Hayner slightly growls at him. They look and see that Pence is holding a camera.

"Our - are gone!" Said Pence in shock he then puts a hand to his throat at his inability to say 'photos' "What?"

"All our -, gone? Huh?" Hayner does the same.

"Huh? You can't say -? Why the hell not?" Ollete asked them.

"But you do understand what I'm saying, right? Our - are gone!" Pence replied.

"Stolen...and not just the -. The word -! They stole it too!" Said Roxas.

"This doesn't seem physically possible, I bet they accidentally forgot to turn off the profanity filter." Said Pence.

"What kinda thief is that? Seifer could never have pulled that off. If he did, then he would be God, or Satan" Said Hayner.

Suddenly up in High Heaven in the real world...

"No I didn't steal your words, but I am amused by it." Said God.

Suddenly an angel came up to him...

"Uh sir, you do know they're in a fake world right?" Said The Angel.

"Yeah so? I'm still God! Now too make the space morons pop in there pretty soon."

Back to the gang...

"Yeah!" Said Roxas.

"All right, time for some recon! While were at it, lets get some drugs to, I feel like being high. My dealer should be in town today." Said Hayner.

Hayner, Olette, and Pence then run off. Roxas begins to follow, but then becomes dizzy...

"Huh?" Said Roxas, "Why do I suddenly feel so dizzy?" Roxas said before falling down and blacking out.

"His heart is slowly returning. Doubtful he won't awaken very soon." Diz said from the Twilight Town mansion.

Roxas wakes up on the ground moments later and stands up, dusting himself off.

"Wuh? Oh man I feel lightheaded!"

"Roxas. Hurry up!" Olette told Roxas before leaving him again.

Suddenly Roxas could hear yelling coming from above him, he looked up and saw, well you guessed it reader, your favorite space morons. Both the Red and Blue teams, had managed to return back to the Disney/ Final Fantasy universe, but how reader? Was it God playing a cruel joke? You will find out soon enough. Roxas blinked for minute, as he stood still, never taking the consideration to scram.

"What the fuc..."

Suddenly the space morons landed on him with a loud crash. He was below Caboose of all people.

"Ouchies!" Said Roxas while looking at stars above his head.

"Next time, I'm bringing a parachute and a bag of Oreos." Grif complained as he was on top of Simmons with the Meta's brute shot on his back.

"Too bad you're too freaking lazy to open it if you had one Grif." Simmons shot right back at him.

"Oh you said something Simmons? I was thinking about Oreos." Said Grif.

"Grif I order you to get off me or I swear to God's holy beard you'll be facing a firing squad Red Army style!" Sarge ordered Grif.

"Well I'll move if Donut gets off me first. Plus I already almost died from a Red Army firing squad." Grif said to Sarge.

"Man that was awesome, too bad I didn't bring my Hello Kitty diving board." Said Donut, yes reader Donut is finally back, now stop playing that annoying party music.

"Oh man this is so g-" Tucker with his energy sword was about to say while being on top of Caboose. Yuffie's shuriken can still be seen on Tucker's back as well.

"Be quiet Tucker we've gone through 1 adventure without you and your constant use of the word gay...it's annoying!" Simmons told Tucker.

"Man what the hell are you guys doing? Who the fuck is this guy? What's up with his hair? I didn't think it was physically possible for someone's hair to look like that. Unless this is an anime...hey are we in an anime universe?" Epsilon Church who is inside Tucker's armor asked his allies and enemies. Epsilon can be seen in holographic form and is light blue.

"OMG! Other spiky haired kid is that you?! I've missed you since we left you, Knuckles, and that girl that Knuckles had sex with! We had so much fun eating ice cream that tasted like liquid detergent and watching MLP together!" Caboose said to Roxas in a very excited tone.

"Can I make a point about the gay joke we used in our first two adventures? I thought it was really distasteful of Tucker, I think it made gay people look really bad,while it was kinda funny back then, it got old very fast. I hope he doesn't use it again, we need new jokes anyways." Said Donut.

"Don't worry guys I made it to where whenever Tucker says anything offensive it gets censored." Church told everyone while still in Tucker's armor. Because he still doesn't have a body reader...go watch season 10 if you're confused.

"Reminds me of those intermissions we do." Said Grif who has a black mustache on his visor, a red sombrero on his helmet, and a orange poncho over his armor.

"Where the fuck are we?" Church wondered.

"We're in that town we use to hang out with other spiky haired kid, it never gets light or dark, it was named after a very bad book." Said Caboose

"Grif how did you change so fast?" Said Donut flabbergasted.

"What are you talking about Donut? Grif has been wearing this stuff since our last adventure with Riku when he was wearing a blindfold." Simmons told Donut.

"But I wasn't there with you guys. Hell you guys didn't tell me you were with Riku again till now, now I feel kinda jealous. I want to give Riku a very tight hug." Said Donut.

"Uh oh looks like I just got a message!" Sarge said before checking his e-mail in his helmet.

"Dear Sarge I know you can read this so please do me a favor and keep Donut away from me!" Riku tweeted to Sarge from his yellow smart phone.

Sarge tried to tweet back, but had some difficulty...

"Simmons how I do tweet back to Riku? This God forsaken website is all Greek to me! And its not letting me go over 140 characters."

"My back hurts..." Roxas complained while Caboose was still on top of him.

"It's like this sir, you can only tweet up to 140 characters per tweet." Simmons informed him.

"What? Gosh darn it, who the hell thought up of a stupid idea like that? What if I wanna write down my thoughts about killing Grif, to well Grif! This Tweety Bird machine won't cut it." Said Sarge.

"It's called an email Sarge. And you already sent me a list of how you will kill me, I remember one of them said you would make me watch Batman and Robin with a taco right in front of me." Said Grif.

"Didn't you already steal the world's tacos?" Simmons asked Grif.

"Why doesn't someone call 911?" Roxas wondered to himself.

"Yeah I'm surprised Taco Man isn't at our door." Said Donut.

"Mr. Blue Storm Trooper please get off of me." Roxas told Caboose.

"Other spiky haired kid, its me Michael J. Caboose." Said Caboose.

"I'm sorry people who cosplay as Storm Troopers but I don't know any of you. My name is Roxas though." Roxas told the space morons after finally getting off the ground.

"Obviously he doesn't remember us, I think something happened to his memory." Said Grif.

"Grif we don't even know this guy in the first place." Simmons corrected Grif.

"Grif this is the first time we met this super Saiyan copycat." Said Donut.

"Hey my hair is perfect damn it!"

"I wonder if he uses Captain Dynamic Hair gel?" Said Donut.

"Of course!" Roxas said while holding a bottle of Captain Dynamic Hair gel in his hand.

"Awesome, I use the same exact hair gel every morning before I get ready for duty." Said Donut cheerfully, "And after I watch MLP."

"OMG Roxas remember when we used to watch MLP every Saturday morning?! It was the best time ever!" Caboose said with excitement.

Roxas blinked...

"You two watch My Little Pony?" He said with glee.

"Of course Roxas...all the time." Caboose told Roxas.

"We should probably introduce ourselves." Donut told his allies and enemies.

"Can I go last? I'm too lazy to start." Said Grif.

"Grif you wont be going at all if my shotgun has anything too say about it!" Sarge told Grif while aiming his shotgun at him.

"Can I just go after Simmons then?" Said Grif aka the Taco Bandit.

"NO!" Sarge said before shooting Grif with his shotgun.

Roxas stepped back in horror...

"Oh my God you shot him!"

"It's OK that's how we usually do things." Said Donut cheerfully.

"Medic...but not Doc!" Grif said while bleeding on the ground.

"Doc isn't even here Grif." Simmons told Grif.

"Yeah no offense to Doc but I rather not have him around, I just don't like him." Said Church.

"I'm Private Franklin Delano Donut and the most fabulous member of Red Team!" Donut told Roxas.

"Who describes himself as awesome, yeah awesomely annoying." Said Grif.

"I'm Private First Class Richard Dick Simmons and second in command of Red Team."

"I'm private first class-" Said Grif before being cut off by Simmons.

"Actually his real rank is Minor Junior Private Negative First Class."

"I'm Staff Sergeant Sarge of Red Team."

"As I was saying..." Said Grif as he looked at Simmons in annoyance. "I am Dexter Grif, and I don't care where I am in the chain of command."

"You're lower then dirt meat shield!" Sarge told Grif before shooting him again.

"Ah the horror...my young innocent eyes! Why cant the world be like My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic?" Roxas said while covering his eyes.

"Sir you mean he's lower then dog shit on dirt." Said Simmons sucking up.

"Thank you Simmons you're right...now if only Shadow were here to kick Grif's ass!"

"It's a shame Shadow and Tails decided to leave, I'm gonna miss them and how Shadow would get pissed off at everything." Said Donut.

"But he was more emo then Riku." Grif told everyone.

Elsewhere Riku twitches, and his 'I'm being called an emo senses are tingling' and picks up the yellow smart phone and for once he tweets Grif.

"Hey Grif you stupid slacker! I'm not emo."

"Oh hey I got a tweet on Twitter...oh wait it's just from Riku! Never mind..." Grif said before ignoring the tweet from Riku to him.

Riku then sends another...

"I swear Grif if we meet again, which I hope isn't the case, you're dead."

"I'm Epsilon Church."

"I'm Private Lavernius Tucker, aka The Love Doctor, Bow Chicka Bow Wow!" Said Tucker before being cut off by Church.

"Tucker stop it OK?" Said Church.

"But it's true!"

"Yeah you said that yesterday, and the day before to Carolina, I would like it if you just stop it please." Said Church.

"You're just mad cause your girlfriend died."

"I am not mad, I have gotten over it damn it!" Said Church.

"I am Private Michael J. Caboose, but you already know my name Roxas."

"I am Roxas...Well it's just Roxas, I don't remember my last name." Said Roxas.

"What kind of person doesn't have a last name? What did you go to court or something?" Said Tucker.

"Be quiet Tucker nobody cares!" Church told Tucker.

"Complain, complain, why does he like to point out stuff nobody cares about?" Said Grif.

"Probably for the same reasons you like to eat everything in sight." Simmons told Grif.

"Hey I eat for a cause!" Said Grif flatly.

"What cause? Your nothing but a selfish pig!" Simmons retorted.

"Hey if I'm hungry its a cause." Said Grif.

"A cause to fill your stomach up." Simmons retorted.

"Hey if I don't eat, I die Mr. Know it all, it's the circle of freaking life." Said Grif.

"And I'm the one who will end your Simba!" Said Sarge while cocking his shotgun.

"Well it's been great talking to you space morons but I have to go now. See ya!" Roxas told the Reds and Blues before leaving them.

"Wait Roxas, don't you want to be my friend!? Don't leave." Said Caboose.

"Too late he already left." Church said from Tucker's armor.

"Oh hey I actually like him, why don't we like track him down and stay with him until we find a way out of here?" Said Tucker.

"Didn't we already do that before?" Church asked Tucker.

"Oh yeah when we..." Caboose said.

Flashback

"Hey Church look that weird kid is back. Looks like he's fighting some guy with a weapon. That looks like a cross between a gun and a sword." Tucker told Church after noticing Sora fighting Leon.

"Well thanks to the medic over here. We got distracted so now we missed are chance to repay him. For the trouble he's caused us."

"Hey Church 50 dollars on the guy with the Gunblade."

"Yea right I'm not losing this time. I'm betting on the kid this time. Because I lose every time I don't."

Sora fights Leon. After the fight, Leon kneels to the ground and is still holding his Gunblade. Sora then collapsed and is unconscious. Leon then picks Sora up and walks off. While his friend Yuffie carries the Keyblade.

"Oh yea that's right! I win again booyah! Pay up motherfucker! The bank keeps on getting richer and Church keeps getting poorer."

"You know what? I fucking hate you!" Church said to Tucker before paying him.

"You know what? Forget what I said before. There are definitely hot chicks here. Did you see that girl that just left? She was hot and when she left I was still able to check out her ass. That's why I'm a pro." Tucker said reader referring to his pro...ness. Which could get him arrested or killed. Whatever comes first. My munny is on both reader...

"So you guys think we should follow them?" DuFresne asked the Blues.

"Yea we still need to repay that stupid weird kid. And we wont stop till we do." Church said before all four soldiers left.

The four soldiers soon arrived in the alleyway. They then climbed up too one of the hotel rooms. They looked through one of the windows to see Sora, Yuffie, and Leon talking.

"Yuffie, let's go join Aerith. She should be there by now with the other visitors."

"Leon!"

"Yuffie, go!"

Yuffie runs and upon opening the door, she accidentally flattened Donald Duck between the door and the wall.

"Yuffie?"

Aerith follows Yuffie. Leon readies his Gunblade and Sora readies his Keyblade.

"Sora, let's go!"

The heartless Soldier jumped out of the window. Upon doing so it knocked the four soldiers off the building. Which they then landed in a nearby body of water. Leon followed the heartless out of the window. Sora goes down to the first floor and outside. The camera then shows the door closing revealing the flattened Donald Duck.

"Don't bother with the small fry. Find the leader! Let's go!" Leon said before leaving the Alleyway.

Soon after the four soldiers wake up after being knocked out. But by then Sora had left long ago.

"Hey where did that stupid kid go?" Church asked after waking up.

"Ow...man my freaking head hurts! I feel like I just got ran over by a tank. What the hell was that thing?" Tucker said after waking up.

"Probably one of those weird looking shadows. Come on let's go find that stupid kid!" Church said before all four soldiers left the Alleyway.

End of Flashback

"Oh yeah I remember that! Good times, good times." Tucker said.

"For some reason I don't remember everything looking shiny way back then." Church commented on the flash back due to the fact the flashback took place in KH HD Remix 1.5.

Later on Roxas catches up with the group in the Market Street: Tram Common and Hayner spots him.

"Over here Roxas!"

Roxas approaches his friends in front of the Armour Shop...

"Let's get this investigation underway...just like on COPS." Pence told everyone.

"Does this mean we're gonna be featured on G4?" Roxas asked.

"G4? Do you see a camera following us?" Hayner replied while crossing his arms.

"But I want to meet Adam Sessler!" Roxas told Hayner.

"Sessler doesn't even work for them anymore, heck G4 doesn't even exist anymore, which is no loss really." Said Hayner with a shrug.

"Man thinking about COPS has made me hungry for doughnuts." Pence said.

"How can you be hungry you tub of lard? We just ate Burger King on the way here. Plus you ordered 4 freaking cheese burgers." Hayner shot back.

"I thought McDonalds bought Burger King?" Roxas said to everyone.

"Not really, it was a prank by a bunch of hacks, get it? Hacks?" Said Pence.

"That was a horrible pun...almost as bad as that green plumber I saw at the comedy club last week. I boo'ed him and threw tomatoes at his face." Hayner told everyone.

"I helped!" Olette said.

Suddenly the scene flashes back to a comedy club where Hayner, and Olette could be seen at a comedy club, sitting at a round table with just the two of them. On stage was a person with a European accent and green clothing pulling off crummy jokes.

"I still can't believed our fake ID's worked." Said Olette.

"Well yeah it did, it is my plan after all, my plans never fail whatsoever." Hayner said with pride and smirked.

"What about the plan where you tried to make Seifer into a Barbie doll?" Said Olette with an eyebrow.

"Hey Roxas goofed that up because he ran to see his MLP episode." He said with a growl.

"Speaking of which, you put Seifer into your ID?" Said Olette.

"Nah I put myself as Taco Man, while I put yours as Kasumi from Dead or Alive." Said Hayner.

"Why are my breasts so big?" She said with a sigh while looking at her fake ID.

"And so this one tomato told the spaghetti, nooo I don't wanna be sauce!" The comedian joked in a corny way.

Hayner wasn't amused...

"Boo you call that a joke? My penis can tell better jokes when I'm high, you suck!" Said Hayner, as he grabbed a tomato from out of nowhere cartoon style and threw it at the comedian.

"You suck, get off the stage." Said Olette as she joined in with Hayner, she also pulled a tomato from out of nowhere and threw it at the lousy comedian.

"Now launch them with your boobs!"

"My boobs are not that big Hayner!"

"Geez everyone's a critic." Said the lousy comedian as he walked of stage while a volley of tomatoes hit the stage from the audience.

End of Flashback...

"I hope they fired the guy who hired him." Hayner said with a scowl.

"You still owe me a better date Hayner!" Olette told Hayner.

"That story was OK...but it needs more ponies!" Roxas told Hayner.

"And actual spaghetti." Said Pence while rubbing his stomach. "Mmm pasta."

"Lose weight fat ass!" Olette told Pence.

"Yeah there's a reason why you haven't seen your dick in years." Hayner told Pence.

"I saw some Star Wars cosplayer rejects earlier who I think were lost. I think they were on their way to the nearby Star Trek convention." Roxas told his friends.

"Really? Don't they know Star Wars isn't allowed there?" Said Hayner.

"But I thought it was the same thing? Isn't that the movie where Khan tells Kirk that he is his father? And the one where Han Solo goes on the search for Luke Skywalker after he dies? Right before putting his memories into Chewbacca before sacrificing himself." Roxas asked Hayner.

"Roxas, Roxas, Roxas, you got it all backwards, to be a a real Trekie, you must reject Star Wars."

"I thought it was the same thing? It needs more fucking ponies or I'm not gonna pay attention to it." Roxas told the group.

"Well then your going to miss out." Said Pence.

"Why cant everything have ponies?" Roxas said.

"We don't have time for Star Wars cosplayer rejects anyways!" Hayner told the group.

"Why not? I'm kinda curious about them now." Said Olette.

Sometime later after talking to various store owners and saving a cat because reader it would be boring to write down...

"Looks like the scumbag is going around stealing -. And not just -, but the fucking word -, too." Hayner deduced.

"This doesn't sound like your average thief...but a super thief!" Pence said.

"I wonder if that gangbanger wannabe Seifer would know anything about this?" Olette pondered out loud.

"We gotta go talk to him...or we could watch MLP instead. Either way to the sandlot!" Roxas told everyone.

"Uhg I hope Seifer still remembers that restraining order I put against him." Said Olette.

"I thought Seifer was gay?" Pence said.

"He is gay!" Hayner told Pence.

"So he's a gay gangbanger wannabe in a town which has a similar name to an awful book series written by a Mormon?" Pence questioned.

"Exactly!" Hayner told Pence.

"God I swear this town should be renamed to Gaylight Town." Said Pence.

"It is called Gaylight Town." Hayner said while pointing to a nearby sign that said Gaylight Town.

"No someone spray painted that." Olette pointed out.

"Yeah I did that. It was the night we snuck out of our houses and vandalized the town signs with spray paint." Hayner told Olette.

"Is that the night you guys decided to fuck as well?" Pence asked Hayner.

"Yeah but Olette had to take it in the ass cause neither of us had condoms and it was too late to get any." Hayner told Pence.

"My ass is still sore by the way Hayner."

"Oh you'll be fine...besides you loved every second of it."

"So are we gonna go see Seifer or not? Cause if not then I'm gonna go watch MLP while you guys gangbang Olette."

"Yeah right Pence's dick is too small for Olette it would be like fucking an eraser." Hayner told Roxas.

"Come on guys we don't have time to talk about your sex lives." Roxas told his friends.

"And my dick is still sore by the way woman."

"You're lucky I didn't break it with my ass!"

"One time I had a dream about having sex with a muffin." Pence told everyone.

"Ugh..." Roxas said with an anime styled sweat drop on his head.

"Pence your disgusting, who the fuck has sex with their food?" Said Olette.

"People who live in their mom's basement like Pence." Said Hayner.

"Don't worry I ate it after I was done." Pence said.

"Eww..." Roxas said with disgust.

Hayner slaps the back of his head...

"Dude you're fucking disgusting."

"I just really like food." Pence said while his stomach growled.

Over at what looks like a huge vacant lot three figures can be seen. The first short figure has a large yellow pointy hat with a zipper in the middle, black face with yellow eyes, blue vest with white pouches on the sides, green pants, brown belt, yellow and brown shoes, and huge brown with white gloves on. The second figure has raven hair, metal necklace in the shape of a lighting bolt, brown eyes, red shirt with black markings, blue and white arm bands, baggy black pants with a number 8 on it, and white with yellow shoes. The third figure is a girl with silver hair, brown eyes, blue zip up vest, khaki pants, and lavender shoes.

"Uh oh!" The short creature known as Vivi said while pointing at Roxas' group.

"Homosexuals!" The girl named Fuu said while looking at Roxas' group.

"Jackie Chan cloned army!" The muscled tan boy named Rai said to Roxas' group.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Hayner asked Rai confused by his words.

Suddenly another figure walks into the Sand Lot where everyone else is. The figure has on a black beanie with a Japanese Kanji on it, green eyes, blond hair, white jacket, blue and white vest, brown pants, and black boots.

"Superman is here to save the day!" The teen said while walking into view.

"Ugh...Seifer." Hayner said after noticing the blonde teen.

"Hey what's up bitches?! You all look a little lonely...why don't you come over here close to me so we can get to know each other better. Don't be shy now...come on over and give daddy a kiss!"

"Oh man I think he's hitting on you! Ya know?!"

"You wiggers are absolutely nothing! And you're all going down because you're all nothing but a bunch of white ass crackers! So you better watch yourselves cause I'm going to mop the floor with your sorry white cracker asses! So you better watch out because one day I might just nail you from behind and ask you whose your daddy bitch!" The gangsta wannabe told Roxas' gang while pointing at them.

"Recognize!" Fuu told them.

"HAHAHAHAHA! Oh who cares you can all go to Hell either way!" The wannabe gangsta said while getting in a defensive stance.

Roxas and Hayner got into defensive stances as well ready to kick Seifer and his lackey's asses as well. Word to your mother reader...

"Don't mess with the Candy Man unless you can handle the merchandise...fools!"

Roxas then walked over towards the wigger and his gang members and then got on his knees in front of them. Hayner tried to stop him but it was already too late.

"That's right good looking ya know you can't resist what I have in my package!" The wigger told Roxas with a grin.

Roxas then looked around at his surroundings and noticed three blue styrofoam bats. Roxas runs and grabs the one that looks like a sword. While the wigger grabs a different one and rocks it back and fourth in his hand. Everyone just stands and watches the two.

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!"

"That's not why I hate you!" Roxas retorted back to Seifer.

"You are getting very, very, very sleepy! You want to take off all your clothes and get it on with me right here right now...bitch!" The wigger told Roxas while swinging his bat from side to side in a hypnotic fashion.

Meanwhile your favorite space morons could be seen arriving at the Sand Lot. They were being led by Sarge of all people as he declared himself the leader of the group during their time in Twilight Town. Grif could be seen with a map of the town.

"Grif we're going the wrong way, I told you to find us a way out dirt bag, not walk us in circles." Said Sarge clearly pissed off.

"Hey Sarge, its not my fault I can't read maps, I told you that before. You should have let Simmons navigate." Said Grif.

"Because Simmons' PDA is busted that's why." Said Sarge referring to the gadget Simmons used in Red vs Blue Animated which went nowhere in favor of the now present CGI which is currently being used in Red vs Blue. In case you didn't know that reader...

"And I've been fixing it all this time Grif." Said Simmons while fixing his PDA.

"You guys can't even find your way out of a barn, next time we'll go off on our own." Tucker retorted.

"I like cows...they go moo." Said Caboose.

"Yeah I don't think splitting off in no man's land is a good idea." Church countered Tucker. "And besides do you want to lead the way back to our own world or Caboose? Because I'm in no position to direct us without a body Tucker."

"Uhh, I prefer if the Reds did that then." Said Tucker.

"Guys you totally should try out my new Twilight erotic fanfiction collection I'm making." Said Donut.

"Twilight Porn? No way, I'll pass that shit is...censored." Said Tucker before being censored by his armor.

"Yeah we're not reusing that stupid gag again. It's old and out of date. Plus most people support gay marriage." Church informed him.

"Uh guys where is Caboose?" Said Grif.

"Huh? Where did that idiot go?" Said Tucker.

"He's over there." Said Simmons pointing to Caboose running toward Roxas.

"Uhg...Caboose, I swear, why does he run off like this?!" Said Church annoyed.

"Hey looks like hes gonna help Roxas fight off that wannabe gangsta, maybe we should help him?" Said Tucker.

"Since when are you wanting to fight someone?" Said Church knowing Tucker's cowardice.

"Well I don't really want to fight, I just let other people do it for me." Said Tucker.

"Amen." Said Grif in response.

"That's enough chit chat fellas, we got a blond guy to help." Said Sarge as he followed Caboose into battle. The others followed suit.

Roxas runs at Seifer and strikes at him with his bat. Seifer easily dodges the attack by holding his bat horizontally in front of him. Caboose was behind him, firing his assault rifle at Seifer, while missing some shots, he managed to hit Seifer's shoulder, causing it to become bloody. Roxas then delivered two strikes on Seifer after getting through his defenses. Sarge arrived just in time as he fired his shotgun at Seifer, managing to hit him right in the chest. Roxas then delivered a quick upwards thrust at Seifer sending him stumbling a few feet backwards. Seifer then performed a spin attack on Roxas but the spiky haired teen easily blocked it. Grif and Simmons fired both their battle rifles at Seifer, still missing some shots but managing to hit him. Roxas kicked the boy in the gut sending him back a few feet away. He then leaped in the air before slamming his bat on the teen with three quick strikes across his face. Roxas jumped back a few inches before moving forward and connecting his bat to the teen's body. With three strikes...one on the face, another on the torso, and the last one across the forehead. Caboose fired more of his assault rifle at him while Donut joined in the fray, firing his battle rifle at Seifer's face. Tucker tosses some frag grenades at Seifer, causing them to explode around him, making him jump into the air, and land with blood around his body. Seifer however gets up and goes after Roxas, the teen jumps in the air and tries to slam his bat hard on Roxas' body. But the blond spiky haired kid easily rolls out of the way in time. Roxas runs and spins his whole body before connecting his bat twice with the teen's back. Sending him forward a few feet across the Sand Lot. Roxas leaps in the air and is about to bring down his bat with a mighty blow but is cut off. Due to the fact being because Seifer dodges his attack with his own bat. But Roxas then jumps over the teen and does three quick blunt strikes to his back with ease. Simmons gets a bit close and fires away his battle rifle, still missing some rounds. Grif decided to stop and watch the whole thing, but he was caught by Sarge, who then shot him with his shotgun. Roxas then leaps in the air with his bat now in one hand but fails in completing his attack. Due to the fact being because Seifer turns around and uppercuts him midair with his bat. Roxas falls on the ground but easily recovers right before he hits the cement. As Roxas rushes at Seifer the young teen jumps in the air about to attack. But Roxas easily rolls out of the way before swiping at the boy's back with three speedy blows to the teen's back. Roxas then jumps in the air and tries to perform three blows to Seifer's head but gets blocked instead. The blond spiky boy does the only thing he can left which is get behind the boy and hit him three times in the back.

"NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!" The boy says before falling on one knee.

"Can't you see that he's completely worn out from waving that foam bat around? Ya know?!"

"Exhausted!" Fuu said before standing in front of her leader with Rai.

"Did we win?" Grif asked his squad mates.

"Gee Grif what do you think?" Said Simmons.

"Not only did we win, we showed how we kick ass Red Army style." Said Sarge.

"Hey what about us? We helped out too." Said Tucker.

"Oh yeah you two showed them how Blue Team sucks." Said Sarge triumphantly.

"This fight seemed too easy though, its like he didn't try to fight back." Said Tucker.

"Well no duh Tucker, he hardly had any weapons at all." Church stated.

"I'm surprised he's not dead guys. Oh you think he is immortal like Father Christmas?" Said Donut.

"But I wasn't nice this year, please don't put me on the list Santa Christ." Said Caboose.

"Donut this story defies logic remember?" Said Simmons.

"Oooh yeah I totally knew that." Said Donut.

"Sure you did idiot." Said Simmons who was annoyed.

"I'll consider this a great victory for Red Team, we're number one." Said Sarge.

"Fuck that shit, he was easy peasy anyways." Said Tucker and shockingly he said this. "Bring us a real challenge or something God." Said Tucker.

"Tucker since when are you so courageous?." Church asked Tucker.

Pence then took out his camera and took a picture of Roxas after he defeated Seifer. He then gave him a thumbs up signal. Suddenly a white albino looking creature with two arms, two legs, and a three way splintered arrow pointing up, left, and right with a top of a heart on the bottom of it can be seen on the creature's head. It then steals Pence's camera before running off with incredible speed.

"What the hell was that?" Hayner said after seeing the white creature steal the camera from Pence.

"The thief!" Olette told Hayner.

"Um should we follow them?" Said Tucker however, Caboose and the Reds followed suit.

"What do you think Tucker?" Said Church sarcastically.

"I'm on it you prick." Said Tucker as he ran after them.

Roxas and the others chased after the white creature into a dark and not really spooky looking forest. Roxas traveled into the forest looking for the white creature. Roxas was then lead to what appeared to be a giant looking manor that is rusty looking, has lots of pointy roofs, windows, and a giant brick wall with a black locked gate in front of it. Roxas can be seen standing in front of the gate across from the white creature. It then speaks to Roxas telepathically with it's mind.

"We have come for you, my liege." The words appear in Roxas' head like text on a screen.

"Wuh?"

"What the fuck is that thing? It looks like it came out of a Japanese role playing game." Said Tucker.

"Uh Tucker..." Church reminded him.

"Huh? Oh yeah, never mind." Said Tucker after remembering they were in one.

"That thing looks like a belly dancer without the clothes or the sexy body." Grif commented.

"Oooh reminds me when I was a belly dancer at my cousins' wedding in Iowa." Said Donut.

"Thanks for the mental image Donut." Simmons shot back.

"Men prepare for anything this fiend might have in its mouth." Said Sarge.

"I wonder what will happen if I unzipped it's mouth?" Donut asked.

"I bet it keeps drugs in there." Said Tucker.

"I seriously doubt it does." Said Church.

The creature's mouth unzips like a zipper before the creature attacks Roxas. Roxas takes out his blue bat and tries to deal some damage to the creature but it easily avoids Roxas' pathetic attacks with ease.

"Stay the fuck still you weird ass...thing!" Roxas told the Dusk.

The blue bat in his hand swirls with data before becoming a giant 3 foot metal key. The key has a glowing green laser like blade like a lightsaber, golden handle, and a silver chain with a Mickey Mouse symbol at the end of it. The sword makes light saber sounds as it is summoned in Roxas' hand. Which is kind of ironic now since Disney bought Lucas Films recently. With the exception of Caboose and even Church, most of the space morons were surprised to see a...

"A Keyblade? Where the fuck did he get a Keyblade? Did he steal it from Sora?" Said Tucker.

"I wonder if he ordered it off the internet?" Said Grif.

"Doubt it, it just came to him Grif and he was caught off guard by it." Said Simmons.

"Sweet another Keyblade, they look so cool." Said Donut cheerfully.

"I remembered when Roxas used his Keyblade to hurt enemies...good times." Said Caboose.

"It's the same weapon Riku uses as well men, the Keyblade is no joke, but it doesn't beat my shotgun!" Said Sarge.

"Is this a...giant key? Who the fuck thought of this?" Roxas questioned while looking at the Keyblade.

"Someone from Japan who was probably high and who loved Disney movies too much and who also made this game." Said Tucker.

"This reminds me I should see if my email was sent to Alex." Said Simmons.

"Men enough chit chatting, we got a new threat right in front of us, with any luck it might eat Grif in the process." Said Sarge.

"You always say that, yet I still annoy you Sarge." said Grif.

"Huh? You say something dirt bag? I can't hear you with all the shit in your mouth." Said Sarge while shooting Grif.

"Medic, but not Doc." Said Grif.

"It's coming." Donut pointed out as the Dusk flew at them.

The battles starts and Roxas run at the Dusk and tries to hit it with his giant key. Roxas misses though due to the fact that the creature gets behind him. Roxas then instinctively gets behind the creature in a teleportation like state. The blond teen then slashes at the Dusk twice in the back before it hovers across the meadow like area. Sarge instructed his men to fire upon the creature. Grif got up from the ground and joined in the fray. Donut fired his battle rifle at the Dusk, the Dusk dodged some of the bullets, but Donut got back up from Simmons who also fired at the Dusk at the same time, The Dusk got hit and flew away from the fire, Tucker fired his battle rifle at the flying Dusk but missed him. As the creature flies up towards the sky Roxas leaps in the air and performs a hard 3 combo on the creature. Once the creature lands back on the ground Roxas performs a vertical slash on it as his giant key slams down right through it's body. Sarge took a couple of shots at the Dusk while Caboose threw a plasma grenade at the creature's head and it exploded. The creature then dissolves into a blue light as pictures float everywhere in the air. The giant key disappears as the light saber sounds can be heard again. Roxas bends down and picks up one of the pictures. Back over at The Usual Spot Roxas and his group can be seen looking at the pictures the Dusk had taken. Hayner can be seen holding one of the pics with Roxas in the picture...

"What is this?" Hayner asked Roxas.

"I was his first customer after he took over the shop. So we took a picture together."

"That's an interesting photo. Oh...!" Olette told Roxas.

"Did you say burrito?" Pence said while feeling hungry.

"No she didn't now shut the hell up Pence! Now tell us about the picture thief. Did you kick it's ass?" Hayner asked Roxas.

"Yep I whooped it's ass like the white cracker it was. And there's not much to say about it the pictures were just lying there."

Hayner then grabbed another picture of Roxas standing beside a girl with blond hair, blue or green eyes, green shirt, and a pink skirt on.

"Then how the hell are we gonna prove our innocence in a court of law man? I'm too young to get raped in jail! Oh hey it's a girl...did you get them digits son?" Hayner told Roxas.

"You look pretty aroused Roxas." Olette told Roxas.

"Do not...no wait that didn't sound right! I'm not gay I'm totally all about the pussy...so long as she likes MLP."

"It's OK Roxas were not gonna judge you if you decide you want to bat for the other team. Homosexual are starting to have more rights now a days anyways." Olette told Roxas.

"Yeah man nothing will change...except you'll have to stay at least 100 feet away from us at all times...at least 100 feet." Hayner told Roxas.

"Anybody else notice that all these photos are of Roxas?" Pence asked his friends.

"That's why everyone thought it was us?" Olette asked.

"Are you telling me fat boy that homosexual gangbanger Seifer didn't go around accusing us after all?" Hayner asked Pence.

"OK Pence give me the rest of the pictures." Roxas ordered the fat kid.

"Yeah no problem. Roxas and a very old unattractive and ugly lady." Pence said as he gave the rest of the pics to Roxas. While showing the first picture.

The next picture showed the gay wigger and his crew while holding a blue foam bat in one hand. This of course was a very gay looking picture to everyone...

"Seifer and his homo wannabe gangsta members."

The next picture showed that of Roxas and Hayner gangbanging Olette. While Pence just stood there and watched them like the fat perverted kid that he is. Cause his dick is only 3 inches long and too damn small for Olette.

"And of course the so ever popular gangbang! Oh man I remember that day so well...it was defiantly mind blowing and amazing! Screw condoms and Sex ED! Every single one is of Roxas. Man guys wouldn't it be weird if the thief wanted to steal the real Roxas?" Pence said to his friends.

"Come on get real. Who the fuck would want to steal Roxas? Olette has far better chances of being kidnapped then Roxas." Hayner told Pence.

"Oh thanks a lot assholes!"

"What about that time when Roxas was dressed up like Princess Peach and tied up?" Olette asked Hayner.

"Hey for the last time I told you we were all very high...besides why are you complaining I had sex with you." Hayner told Olette.

"Yeah but I didn't get to have sex with anyone." Pence told Hayner.

"We dressed Roxas like Princess Peach...stop your bitching!" Hayner told Pence.

"I'm not gay and Roxas isn't a very attractive girl anyways...plus he didn't have food."

"I just wanted to be untied so I could watch MLP...not listen and watch you guys fuck. And I'll have you assholes know that I make a very hot and sexy girl! In fact if I had a clone that was a girl I'd have sex with said clone...no wait that didn't sound right at all!"

The scene changes to the gang's hideout sometime in the past, Roxas could be seen tied up and dressed as Princess Peach from The Super Mario Bros. Ollete, Hayner, and Pence all could be seen high from a nearby bong they had smoked earlier. Hayner was stripping Ollete naked.

"Guys this isn't funny! I don't wanna be tied up and dressed up as a girl, and I'm missing MLP right this moment...Rainbow Dash was gonna explain why she's 20 percent cooler in this episode!" He growled as he struggled against his ropes.

"Here you go Pence, the girl you'll ever get to fuck in your life because you have a very small penis." Said Hayner as he laughed like a maniac, think of the Joker reader.

"What? No way, that's not a girl, that's...Donkey Kong." Said Pence since he was high.

"Donkey Kong or not have your fun fat ass, while me and Ollete fuck ourselves this whole night." Said Hayner.

"You are so mean Hayner...now fuck me already I'm so fucking wet!" Ollete laughed while still high.

"Shut it bitch and help me get you naked already I'm rock hard and ready for your tight pussy!" Said Hayner who is also still high.

"Here Donkey Kong you want a banana?" Said the high Pence who had a banana in his hand except it was covered in cum. Due to being used by Olette earlier.

"Can't believe this is happening and no I don't want anything in my mouth that's been inside Olette."

"Oh come on Roxas what about that time we DP'ed Olette together? I even let you stick your cock in her pussy." Hayner told Roxas while fucking Olette's tight cunt. Yeah reader this story is rated M for a reason...

"Yeah because I was high and I was saving myself for marriage damn you! Now I cant give my virginity to the girl of my dreams...whoever she is." Roxas told Hayner.

Back to the present...

The four friends laugh as a laugh track can be heard while they laugh with one another. Suddenly a man can be heard threatening to rape a woman above the four teens. Suddenly bloody murder is heard as the man forces him self on the screaming woman. They all look up at the ceiling where the commotion is coming from. Pence, Hayner, and Olette then leave the Usual Spot.

Roxas leaves after a bit. He holds out his hand to the sun from his eyes and he hears a voice.

"Where the fuck am I? Is Call of Duty Black OP's 2 out yet?" A familiar voice said out of nowhere. That's right reader it's your favorite spiky haired giant key wielding teen. Sadly Sora only has a cameo in this chapter until we get to chapter 7.

"Who the hell is there? Rainbow Dash is that you?" Roxas asked Sora's voice.

"Who the fuck are you?" Sora's voiced asked Roxas.

The screen becomes scrambled like a messed up TV screen that needs to be pimped slapped a few times. Before it can go back to working properly because some people would actually like to watch what's on the screen for crying out loud! Just saying reader...

"Restoration at 12 percent." A female monotone voice said out of nowhere.

Suddenly a voice can be heard watching...Seventh Heaven while singing the show's intro. As to why it's doing this I have no freaking clue once so ever reader! Suddenly Diz can be seen sitting in a room filled with a bunch of computer screens. A figure in a black hooded zip up coat then walks up to Diz. Who is sitting in front of one of the many computer screens.

"When I see those happy faces smiling back at me. Seventh Heaven! I know there's no greater feeling! That-" Diz sang before being interrupted by the unknown figure in black.

"A name means nothing on the battlefield...after a week no one has a name." The figure told Diz.

"Remember press the triangle button to look less emo." Diz told the figure aka Riku/Ansem. Cause you know it's been over 5 years since this game came out reader.

"Damn wish I had my cardboard box then I could kick all those emo bastard's asses!"

"Push the L2 button to scroll through your inventory."

"At least I have my cigarettes!" Riku said while smoking a cigarette.

"Remember if you want to use a ladder push the action button aka the circle button."

The scene then changes back to Sora's memories racing through his mind once again. This time he can be seen in Traverse Town being woken up by Pluto.

"Oh...where the hell am I?"

Sora then races into the Second District...

"What happened to my home? My island?"

Shadows then appeared around Sora and he readies his Keyblade...

"Riku! Kai-!"

A static image of Kairi appears. Sora is then confronted by Leon in the First District...

"Who the hell are you?"

"They will come at you out of nowhere cracker, as long as you continue to wield the Keyblade you non gangbanger looking punk." Leon told Sora but his voice sounded different compared to the first time Sora met him.

Donald and Goofy are knocked out of the sky and onto Sora in the Third District...

"You should come with us...you don't look like a republican or a fan of Faux News. Besides we can travel to other worlds on our vessel." Goofy told Sora.

"Sora, go with them you white ass cracker. Especially if you want to find your friends. Ya heard G?"

"Name's Donald Duck and I love tacos!"

"The name's Goofy Goof and I love having sex with Queen Minnie when the King isn't around."

"I'm Sora and that was way too much personal information that I didn't really need to know. Also I love tacos as well and yeah I'll go with you guys."

"If you were a true gangsta you'd know that the Heartless have great fear of the Keyblade. Ya heard dawg?" Leon told Sora.

"That's right. The Keyblade." Aerith told Donald and Goofy whose voice also sounded different. Who keeps changing the voices reader? Looks like Detective Sora is now on the case!

"So...this is the giant 3 foot metal key?" Sora said while examining the Keyblade for the very first time.

"By Allah's beard the boy is a problem! He found one of the sacred and holy Keyholes." Osama Jafar Laden told Maleficent.

Sora locks the keyhole in Agrabah with the Blues help. Roxas wakes up in his room with the space morons with him.

"A key...blade?"

**To Be Continued...**


	2. Bow Chicka Bow Wow!

**Red vs Blue: The Kingdom Hearts 2 Saga**

**Episode 2: Bow Chicka Bow Wow!**

**Twilight Town Day 2**

Later on Roxas and the space morons walk over to the Usual Spot.

"A Keyblade."

Roxas spots a stick leaning against a wall and swings it around like it's a sword.

"What the hell was that about?"

Roxas then tosses it over his head and it hits Riku in the chest who is still wearing his Organization robe.

"Oops...my bad."

Riku then walks away down the nearby steps.

"Sorry...about that sir!"

Roxas and the space morons then walks into the Usual Spot and sees Hayner, Pence, and Olette already sitting enjoying some sea-salt ice cream. Hayner offers Roxas some...

"Thanks!" Said Roxas while taking the sea salt ice cream.

"You better enjoy it, ice cream doesn't come cheap." Said Hayner.

"I wish it was cheap...then we wouldn't be eating this kind we made ourselves." Said Pence.

"He just likes to act tough guys." Said Ollete.

"Dude reminds me of Tucker already." Said Church inside Tucker's armour.

"This guy reminds me of me when I was younger."

"Hey Hayner why didn't you get the MLP ice cream bars? I wanted a Rainbow Dash ice cream bar!"

"Are these the Star Wars rejects you were talking about Roxas? They kind of look like Storm Troopers if they were designed Pee Wee Herman." Pence told Roxas.

"Who the fuck are you calling Star Wars rejects? We're-" Said Tucker before being interrupted by Caboose.

"We're space morons!" Said Caboose.

"Yes they are space morons and they're on their way to the Star Trek convention." Roxas told his friends.

"If anyone is going to a Star Trek convention it's this nerd right here. And besides only nerds go to Star Trek Conventions." Said Grif to Simmons.

"Hey I happen to love Star Trek thank you very much." Said Simmons.

"So much so that you keep mimicking Spock." Said Grif.

"Church-Bay also thanks you for your contribution of one Captain Tiberius Kirk played by William Shatner poster Donut. It was our highest bidding item on the website." Church told Donut.

"Hey it's no problem Church, I didn't know if Simmons ever wanted that poster back so I kept it for myself, then it didn't match all the Harry Potter and Twilight posters in my room so I gave it away." Said Donut.

"You moron, you were suppose to keep it safe for me! Now I can't believe that homeless guy bought it." Simmons said angrily.

"I wonder what the homeless European man is doing now?" Caboose wondered.

Meanwhile at Bright Falls, Alan Wake could be seen fighting off a hoard of Lumberjacks, he is fighting them with his pal Barry, except for the fact Barry is hiding like a coward while rooting for Alan inside a lamp post.

"Go get them best seller, you can do it." Barry cheered for Alan.

Alan flashed a flashlight at a Lumberjack...

"If only someone was helping then I wouldn't be having this problem." He muttered, he then shouted. "Hey Barry you better keep my Captain Kirk Poster safe, it's worth more then you alright? I paid a lot of munny for it, hell I had to lease out one of my apartments for it." Said Alan.

"Don't worry Al, Old Kirk is safe with me."

"Vote Democrat." Said a Lumberjack as he swung at Alan with an axe who then dodged it.

"At least those space morons aren't here to annoy me." He said while looking on the bright side.

Back to the group...

"How come we didn't get any ice cream?" Grif complained.

"Grif we're stuck in a town we don't know how to get out of and the only thing you can think about is food?" Said Simmons in annoyance.

"The only thing I think about is food."

"You know if you guys want to leave you can always take the bus...just be careful of muggers." Roxas told the space morons.

"Yeah no we're better off following you till we actually know how to get out of here, its how we did business in the last stories."Said Church while breaking the fourth wall.

"Dude don't break the fourth wall! Bad things happen when someone does that." Tucker told Church.

"Yeah that joke is pretty old Tucker, our readers are gonna get tired of dumb jokes like that, and besides I'm an A.I., I don't get hurt easily." Said Church with confidence.

"You can always be deleted." Said Simmons.

"NO MY ICE CREAM!" Roxas yelled after his ice cream fell on the floor.

"See? What did I just tell you?" Tucker told the blue A.I. with the sniper rifle in his armour.

"Oh he can always get another!" Said Church."It's only one ice cream the world isn't gonna fucking die."

"ICE CREAM NNNOOO!" Said Grif in a melodramatic way.

"Damn it Pence get this man another ice cream ASAP! Olette suck my cock like you've never sucked it before!" Hayner told his friends.

"Hayner that's all I ever do...plus I'm busy eating my damn ice cream!"

"Well then do both at the same time!"

"No then it'll start to taste weird!"

"Fine then at least meet me in the middle and give me a handjob instead!"

"Fine!" Olette agreed.

"Um were out of ice cream Hayner." Pence told Hayner.

"What? Motherfucker!"

"What's the ice cream made out of? It tastes sweet but also salty." Simmons asked Hayner.

"It's made out of sea salt actually. But it's not cheap and were kind of broke. So..." Pence explained.

"So we have to improvise in order to still eat the ice cream. But unlike the official Sea-Salt ice cream ours has a secret ingredient." Hayner told everyone.

"What is it?" Donut asked with curiosity.

"Um I don't think it's a good idea to talk about that..." Pence said.

"It's a secret...between me, Pence, and Olette."

"What about Roxas?" Church asked Hayner.

"Roxas is usually too busy watching MLP to give a damn about how we make the ice cream here." Hayner told everyone.

"Can't say I'm surprised dude, MLP has people like him brainwashed, I wouldn't be surprised if he ponified himself or other people." Said Church.

"Oh he does that to us plenty of times, he got Hayner to blow up."

"If he focused his energy on girls the same way he does MLP he might actually get laid for once." Hayner told everyone.

"Hey Hayner that ice cream tasted weird...what's it made out of?" Roxas asked Hayner.

"It's made out of cum!" Olette told Roxas while eating her ice cream and giving Hayner a handjob at the same time.

"WHAT?!" Roxas asked with a surprised look.

"Uh yeah I didn't want to say anything because you know it's not really normal...but yeah it's made out of mine, Olette, and Hayner's cum. We were very high when we came up with this idea...along with being very hungry." Pence told Roxas.

"That's really disgusting guys." Roxas told the three teens.

"I don't know what's your problem with it Roxas, you never complained about the taste." Said Pence.

"Besides we make a big hit out of selling these." Said Hayner.

"I hate to be the guy who was ripped off." Said Tucker.

"You guys think will always be together like this?" Pence asked his friends.

"If Hayner gets me pregnant he and I most defiantly will be...I'm not raising a kid by myself."

"Woman I told you before I am not marrying you it is way too early in my life to be thinking of marriage. And I've been using condoms whenever we have sex and you said you were on the pill. So you have nothing to worry about!"

"I do when the condoms keep breaking cause you're too damn cheap to buy the good kind!"

"Fine I'll buy the better ones next time! Anyways Pence where the hell did this come from?"

"Oh you know just thinking out loud is all nothing too philosophical."

"I highly doubt we can be with each other forever unless we live in a house together...which isn't gonna happen because that would be weird. I'm not even sure if I want to share a house with Olette to be honest. Besides it's not important how often we see each other every day but how often we think of each other. Right?"

"Wow that sounded really g...I mean very non heterosexual." Tucker said.

"Um Hayner that sounded very lame and stupid. Where did you get that from? A fortune cookie?" Pence asked Hayner.

"As a matter of fact I did...kind of. It was worded different though."

"Yeah you took me to the nearby Chinese restraunt last week." Olette reminded Hayner.

"Man I tell you something guys today really sucks." Hayner told his friends.

"Because of the thief who stole the pictures of Roxas?" Olette asked Hayner.

"No way! It's because Summer vacation is almost over and we don't want it to end. So what we need to do is go to the beach. Why do we go to the beach? For hot girls with big boobs wearing hardly anything on their hot bodies...oh no wait that's just me. But in all honesty we haven't gone once this Summer vacation. Blue seas! Blue skies! Let's get on the train and just go! No one? You have to be kidding me!"

"Hayner were broke we cant even afford Sea-Salt ice cream damn it! Did you forget that?" Roxas told Hayner.

"Did you forget that I'm smart?"

"Hayner I swear if you cheat on me with some big boobed bimbo slut I'll fucking cut your cock and balls off in the middle of the night while you're asleep and shove it down your fucking throat!" Olette told Hayner with fire in her eyes.

"I said I was joking...calm down Olette before you burst a blood vessel. Jeez..."

"I'm just saying that I refuse to lose you to some big boobed slut."

The group then leaves the Usual Spot leaving the space morons alone with Roxas...

"But I wanted to watch MLP all day in my underwear while eating junk food!" Roxas whined.

"Oh man the beach! I love to go to the beach! Nothing but fun in the sun, the wind blowing against your face, and the salty water in your beach shorts...ah good times." Said Donut.

"And not to mention, the hot chicks in bikini's Bow Chicka Bow Wow." Said Tucker pervertedly.

"Does this mean we'll get to see Mister Krabs?" Said Caboose.

"I hope he didn't mean the guy from Sponge Bob Squarepants." Said Tucker.

"The only thing I like about the beach is the sweet possibility of feeding Grif to the sharks, at least the dirt bag will be food for once. And plus he can't swim which is also a plus because either way he dies. " Said Sarge while looking at Grif.

"I doubt there are sharks near the shallow length of water near the beach." Said Grif.

"Then I'll row you 1 million miles away from shore dirt bag." Said Sarge.

"Uh no thanks Sarge, I don't like boat rides, just take Donut with you." Said Grif.

"Grif what part of me of feeding you to the sharks you do not understand? I'm not gonna take Donut." Said Sarge.

"Where's the part that says you're crazy?" Said Grif.

"It's not crazy, it's a brilliant plan from my book 100 Ways to Kill A Grif." Said Sarge.

"Wait you wrote a book on how to kill me?" Said Grif.

"Yep and its now on paperback for 999 munny." Said Sarge.

"And it's still available on Church-Bay too." Said Church.

"This reminds me the last time we went to the beach." Simmons told his allies.

Flashback:

Zexion disappears. Riku looks at the card. He holds it up to the door and he Destiny Islands. Once there, Riku is sitting on the Paopu tree. The Reds can be seen standing near him...

"Hey everyone looks like we're in Hawaii." Said Donut.

"Were not in Hawaii Donut! Were not even on Earth!" Simmons corrected the pink soldier.

"Oh hey look an ocean and a beach! Sweet! I'm gonna go for a swim! Oh man where's a surf board?" Grif told everyone with excitement.

"Grif you don't even...how the hell did you get those clothes?" Said Simmons after noticing Grif.

"Sorry Simmons cant talk right now I'm on vacation. Oh man waves here I come!" Grif said while wearing orange swim trunks and black sun glasses. He can be seen holding an orange surf board in his hands. His armor and weapons can be seen lying on the ground next to him.

"Grif I order you to comeback here, get in your armor, and die!" Said Sarge.

"Sorry no can do Sarge I'm on vacation but you can call my secretary and leave me a message. Till then surf's up!" Grif yelled while running towards the beach.

"Grif's secretary here! How may I help you?" Donut told Sarge while standing next to the red armored soldier.

"Donut we don't have time for this, tell Grif to get back here!" Said Sarge.

"Oh sorry no can do Sarge Grif is on vacation. Can I pencil you in for 3 months from now?"

"Tell him I'm gonna be in a board meeting Donut! COWABUNGA DUDE!" Grif yelled after reaching the ocean and riding his surf board.

"Yeah he's all booked Sarge. Would you like to make an appointment? Till he gets back from his vacation?" Donut asked Sarge.

"I thought you took Grif's vacations away Sarge?" Said Simmons.

"Grif has a note from his doctor that allows him time from work due to...health reasons." Donut told Simmons and Sarge while holding a note signed by Doc.

"Doc isn't even a doctor, he's a medic who sucks at even that." Said Simmons.

"And to answer your question Simmons. Yes I did take his vacations away. It appears Grif is being insubordinate! As usual!" Said Sarge.

"Oh man guys here comes a giant wave! Watch me nail it with my surf board! Here I go!" Grif told everyone while stiff surfing.

Just beneath the water a mechanical red kraken could be seen swimming towards Grif. Inside was...guess who reader? Yep it was Deadpool.

"About time we got to chapter 21, we're almost done folks only 6 more chapters left! Now to torture the orange idiot." Said Deadpool inside the robotic red kraken.

Grif can be seen enjoying himself till the kraken's flexible tentacles came out of the water and coiled around Grif.

"Oh shit! God is punishing me for questioning his existence! I'm sorry God! Spare me!" Grif screamed after Deadpool had the kraken wrap his tentacles around Grif's armor less body.

"Oh man I don't remember Revelation mentioning anything about a mechanical kraken!" Donut said while watching Grif being attacked by Deadpool.

"Must be that new version of the Bible they came out with recently which has a cameo of Ben Stiller." Sarge informed everyone.

"I thought God or Satan took him already in the lesbian witches house?" Said Donut.

"No Donut that was a demon!" Simmons corrected Donut.

"Simmons don't ruin the moment!" Said Sarge.

"Sorry sir!"

"Should we help Grif? Even though he's on vacation." Donut asked Sarge and Simmons.

"Officially Donut he's not on vacation since Sarge took his away months ago." Said Simmons.

"Oh man we've been here for months?" Donut asked while gasping.

"No Donut we've been here for 4 almost 5 years!" Simmons corrected the pink soldier.

"This may be the best day yet! Marcus? Dom? What do you think?" Sarge asked two figures standing near him. The first is white, 6'1, 230 lbs., black hair, black goatee, blue eyes, green do-rag, brown boots, green pants, white fingerless gloves, white shirt, metallic utility belt, green pack on his right hip, metallic torso armor with blue LED lights, metallic leg pads, and a rifle with a chainsaw blade on the front can be seen. The second figure is tan, 6'0, XX lbs, black hair, black beard, brown eyes, tattoo of an angel with the name Maria on his right arm, metallic torso armor with combat knife, metallic utility belt with bullets, white shirt, green pants, brown fingerless gloves, brown packs on his right leg, metallic knee pads, metallic boots, and a rifle with a chainsaw blade on the front can be seen in his hands.

"Uh what happened to Shadow and Tails?" Donut asked Sarge and Simmons.

"Who the fuck cares? We have two badass allies with us now!" Simmons told Donut.

"Is that who I think it is? Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my..." Said Riku while trying to say their names.

"Um why does Riku sound like Donut all of a sudden?" Simmons asked Sarge.

"Because Simmons Riku has a sense of celebrity worship. Why Marcus and Dom are one of the most famous people in video games right next to the Master Chief. At least concerning the XBOX." Said Sarge.

"Is that who I think it is? Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my..." Said Donut while trying to say their names.

"Should we help Grif?" Simmons asked Sarge.

"Nah I think the kraken has it all under control." Said Sarge.

"I guess it's a good thing that we have both Marcus and Dom to replace Grif in our party then?" Simmons asked Sarge.

"You got that right Simmons." Said Sarge.

"Um Marcus who are these people and where the hell are we?" Dom asked his COG ally Sergeant Marcus Fenix.

"Space morons! Looks like we might have made a wrong turn earlier while fighting the Lambent. Shit!" Marcus told Dom.

"How did you guys get here anyway, and what happen to Shadow and Tails?" Said Donut.

"A wizard did it Donut...and by wizard I mean an insane katana and gun wielding ninja wizard. And also no more questions!" Said Sarge.

"Yeah we finally have two bad ass allies for once! Don't fuck this up for us Donut! We want to make a good first impression." Simmons told Donut.

"Radio in Control Dom and tell them to send a Raven ASAP! I'm not sure how much longer I can stay in this shit hole! Damn space morons..." Marcus told Dom.

"Oh Marcus where are we exactly? Some kind of tropical paradise island?" Said Dom.

"More like The Devil's Island if you ask me." Marcus told Dom.

"Oh my god can I have your autographs?" Said Riku with a pencil and paper that he got randomly out of nowhere.

"Um Dom...did you radio for the Raven yet?" Marcus asked his ally.

"I'm getting nothing but static. I think we a have a Seeder nearby." Said Dom.

"Shit! Alright keep your eyes open for locusts. We need to get that Raven here ASAP!" Marcus told Dom.

"You got it! I don't want to stay here either." Said Dom.

"Oh man Dom you have such an awesome beard! What's your secret?" Donut asked Dom with excitement.

"What the hell? I don't even know you." Said Dom.

"Shut it Donut we need to make a great first impression." Said Sarge.

"I would prefer prison over this." Marcus said with a sigh.

"I prefer fighting a Berserker over this." Said Dom.

"Right let's get the hell out of here!" Marcus told Dom.

"Where you guys gonna go? Were on an island in the middle of the ocean." Said Riku.

"SHIT!" Marcus swore.

"Command is gonna have a field day with us when we get back." Said Dom.

"I haven't felt this awkward since that one night with Anya." Marcu said while rubbing the back of his neck.

Over in a bunker with a medium sized cot two figures can be seen. Marcus wearing only his iconic do-rag and a woman with blonde hair and green eyes can be seen under some green covers. Marcus can be seen hovering over the short woman holding himself up with both arms on the bed. The woman wearing nothing can be seen under Marcus. Marcus stares in the woman's eyes before speaking. The woman's name is Anya Stroud...

"Control better brace yourself this gonna be tight. Might need to call in back up." Marcus told Anya.

"Marcus what are you talking about? And I told you not to call me Control in bed." Anya told Marcus.

"Alright Control I'm going in...wish me luck!" Marcus told Anya before lowering his body on to hers.

"Marcus what did I just say? Wait...what? AAAHHH!" Anya screamed at Marcus.

"Ah shit...Control I cant hold back much longer. Looks like I'll have to fire the secret weapon earlier then planned. Hold on tight...this may get messy!" Marcus told Anya while holding both her sides with his hands.

"Marcus no not inside me...DAMMIT!" Anya yelled at Marcus.

"Mission accomplished Control...Delta Squad out!" Marcus told Anya before falling a sleep on top of her.

Back with Riku's group...

"Did you use a condom?" Dom asked Marcus.

"No...shit!" Marcus said while facepalming himself.

"Man good thing were wearing our Summer armor right now. This place is hotter then Hell!" Dom said while wiping the sweat off his forehead.

"Hey has anyone seen Jack?" Said Marcus.

"He was just here a second ago." Said Dom.

"Uh do any of you know this guy?" Riku asked while pointing to a dead COG soldier near the bushes.

"Fuck, that's Carmine!" Said Marcus.

"Carmine, damn! He's been dead for over 2 years now." Said Dom.

"Damn locusts snipers!" Said Marcus dryly.

"Hey you don't mind if I get his gun and armor right?" Said Riku.

"Just toss us his dog tag, and keep whatever you want kid." Said Marcus.

"Hey thanks!" Said Riku before tossing Carmine's dog tag to Marcus who caught it.

"Any signs of locusts yet?" Marcus asked Dom.

"On second thought I'll just keep the gun." Riku said while reloading the lancer.

"Not yet. Hey Marcus there's Jack." Said Dom to a robot hovering behind Marcus.

"So what are your names?" Said Marcus to Riku and the Reds.

"I'm Riku! The red space moron is Sarge, the gay pink one is Donut, the Mr. Know it all maroon one is Simmons, and the lazy orange one being attacked right now is Grif. They're helping me locate my best friend Sora. While I'm helping them find their way back home."

"While also looking for our robot Lopez, and O'Malley." Said Sarge.

"Shit! I hate working with space morons..." Marcus said bluntly.

"The feeling is mutual." Riku told Marcus agreeing with the Gears soldier.

"Uh are you guys gonna help your friend?" Said Dom while watching Grif.

"Huh? Oh that happens all the time. Don't worry he'll be OK!" Riku told Dom and Marcus.

"And besides he's a dirt bag to begin with." Said Sarge.

"Just to let everyone know I don't take shit from anyone...especially space morons!" Marcus told Riku and the Reds.

"Yeah, Marcus doesn't like people who fool around." Said Dom.

"Really? Same here!" Riku told Dom and Marcus.

"It appears we have a lot of things in common kid. Well I don't know if you like toast." Said Marcus.

"I like 'em crispy." Dom told Marcus.

"Toast? Where?" Grif said while still being attacked by the kraken.

"Hey Grif shouldn't you be in pain right now?" Said Simmons.

"I would if it didn't take too much work." Grif told Simmons.

"Uh is your friend stupid?" Said Dom.

"Of course he is Dom...he's a space moron!" Marcus told his ally.

"He's just lazy...and stupid." Riku told Dom and Marcus.

"Hey!" Said Grif who overheard Riku.

"Alright Dom use the Hammer of Dawn!" Marcus ordered Dom.

"To take out the kraken?"

"Well I guess...but I meant to take out the orange space moron. He's getting on my nerves..."

"OK!" Said Dom before taking out the Hammer of Dawn.

Seconds later a giant stream of orange light hit the kraken, Grif, and the ocean. Deadpool had left once torturing Grif had become not fun anymore. Soon the ocean had started to heat up and stream rose to to the sky. The kraken then disintegrated and Grif became black all over before sinking towards the bottom of the ocean.

"Score another point for Red team!" Sarge yelled with excitement.

"Ouch!" Said Grif while rising up to the surface.

"Fuck!" Sarge swore.

"SHIT!" Marcus yelled loudly.

"I don't get it, that should've killed him." Said Dom.

"Well bite my shiny metal ass, he's one lucky son of a bitch." Said Marcus.

"Yeah we have this contract with this crazy ninja...which doesn't allow us to die. Until our contract is up!" Riku told Marcus and Dom.

"Crazy ninja?" Said Dom.

"He likes to break the fourth wall and make wise cracks." Riku told Dom and Marcus.

"Plus he's the author of this story." Said Simmons.

"What? I don't want to be in some children's book!" Marcus told Simmons.

"Yeah man, that's kinda hard to believe." Said Dom.

"As if Dom owing me 20 dollars wasn't enough! Now I'm in some children's story with a bunch of space morons who couldn't kill a group of tickers." Marcus said gruffly.

"Whats a ticker?" Said Donut.

"Point made!" Marcus said dryly.

"The pink guy reminds me of Carmine, Marcus." Said Dom.

"Yeah if he was...ya know...that way. And couldn't shoot his gun straight..." Marcus told Dom.

"And if he was straight. I can tell this guy is gay with that pink armor on." Said Dom.

"SSSHHH...quiet Dom! We don't want to insult the homosexuals..." Marcus told Dom while putting a finger in front of his lips.

"But...Oh I get it Marcus." Said Dom while looking at you readers...for some reason.

"So you guys wanna help us kick some ass?" Riku asked the two Gears soldiers.

"What kind of shit loads do you guys fight?" Said Marcus.

"Shadows, emos, and occasionally Disney villains." Riku told Marcus.

"Looks like we got our work cut out for us." Said Marcus.

"Think Anya, Cole, Baird, and Jace are having better luck then us?" Dom asked Marcus.

"Do I even need to answer that?" Said Marcus.

"Man this place sucks more then the Hollow!" Dom told Marcus.

"Well its called the Island of hell for a reason." Said Simmons.

"Simmons we call it the Devil's Island!" Sarge corrected the maroon soldier.

"Guys I need help!" Shouted Grif.

"Quiet dirt bag were formulating a strategy over here!" Sarge told Grif.

"Hey Grif is being attack by Sea Gulls." Said Donut.

"Good! Maybe they'll eat his insides as well." Sarge told Donut.

Grif can be seen attacked by many sea gulls. They all pecked at his body...

"Seriously guys! Help!" Said Grif.

"Were busy dirt bag! Make an appointment!" Sarge told Grif.

"Would you like to make an appointment Grif?" Said Donut while acting like Sarge's secretary.

"Would somebody shut him up? Before I cut his head off with my lancer!" Marcus said annoyed.

"Man I would pay to see that Marcus." Said Dom.

"You already owe me 20 dollars!" Marcus told Dom.

"Oh yeah? Well see me after the war then." Said Dom.

"Oh man they got my...I mean Simmons' liver." Said Grif.

"You already told me that over 2 years ago. I'm still waiting." Marcus told Dom.

"The war still isn't over." Said Dom.

"Damn locusts bastards!" Marcus swore.

"Damn Grif you better not lose any more of my body parts." Said Simmons.

"Shit I haven't seen anything that violent since Benjamin died!" Dom told Marcus.

"Something tells me, its gonna get more bat crazy with these guys." Said Marcus.

"Donut go heal Grif." Said Sarge with a sigh.

"Don't we have a no heal Grif policy?" Donut asked Sarge.

"Yes we do, but we're in a hurry. We got like 6 chapters to go before this story can finally end." Said Sarge.

"Looks like your friend is being attacked by crabs now." Dom told Sarge.

"Hey how do I use this chain saw?" Said Riku while trying to figure out how to use the lancer.

"Easy, all you need is to rev it up, find a grub, and jam it till they die!" Said Marcus while gutting Grif with the lancer.

"AAAHHH MY SPINE!" Grif yelled as Marcus used his lancer on him.

"Nice! Hey Simmons come over here!" Said Riku while revving up his lancer.

"Don't you mean Donut?" Simmons asked Riku.

"Donut doesn't piss me of as much as you and Grif." Said Riku while getting near Simmons.

"Protect me Donut!" Simmons told Donut while using him as a shield.

"Damn it Simmons, that's not fair." Said Riku.

"Here use this guy instead." Said Marcus as he toss Grif to Riku.

"Does anyone have any orange juice...I've lost too much blood." Grif said weakly.

"Hows about some lead?" Said Riku while gutting Grif with the lancer.

"OK this is to gory even for me." Said Simmons.

"Ah what a wonderful day it is! To see Grif gutted before me is awesome!" Said Sarge.

"Shouldn't we be gutting Heartless or the Blues Sarge?" Donut asked Sarge.

"Lets take our time now Donut!" Said Sarge to Donut.

End of Flashback

"Worst vacation ever...of all time!" Grif told Simmons.

"Oh man I remember that! I sure do miss Marcus and Dom. I hope we see them again soon." Donut told his allies.

"My favourite part was when the beach was covered in Grif's blood!" Sarge said with a smile behind his visor.

"Hopefully next time we go to the beach we wont have to fight any emos." Simmons said while remembering the fight against Zexion. "If Donut ever tries to be my secretary, I'm gonna stuff him inside a suitcase." Said Simmons while glaring at Donut.

"I'm still open for the job." Donut stated.

"Donut the only job your doing is fighting the Blues and annoying Grif, that's how it goes cupcake" Said Sarge.

"I know sir and its quite awesome." Said Donut cheerfully.

"Glad to know private, at least some people here take their job seriously." Said Sarge to Grif.

"But sir I take my job seriously." Said Simmons.

"No offence Simmons but Donut has shown what it takes to annoy Grif, you just talk to him." Said Sarge.

"Donut only annoys me when he tries to touch me or flirt with me, either way I don't really care what he does." Grif informed his allies.

"But I do take it seriously look, fuck you Grif." Said Simmons.

"Hmm you say something Simmons? I was just thinking of tacos right now." Said Grif.

"Damn it Grif you're suppose to be annoyed." Said Simmons.

"Nope Donut still has it, Simmons I expected more, looks like you need even more training, a shame Shadow isn't here to help you out." Said Sarge.

"Thank God." Said Simmons.

"I don't annoy Grif on purpose though when I do it's usually to pull a prank." Said Donut.

"Uh yeah you do rookie." Grif corrected him.

"Man that was the worst beach flashback ever, where's the hot chicks in bikinis at?" Tucker complained.

"They were taken away by aliens." Said Caboose.

"Don't be ignorant Caboose, aliens don't steal girls." Said Simmons.

"Are you kidding me? Who doesn't want to have sex with a hot chick? Aliens aren't suppose to be dumb Bow Chicka Bow Wow." Said Tucker.

"Yeah didn't anyone here play Duke Nukem 3D?" Church asked the Reds and Blues.

Later on Roxas and the space morons go to Market Street: Station Heights. Roxas finds Hayner, Pence, and Olette reading a poster on a wall about The Lightsaber Duel.

"Only 2 days left! You and I must make it to the finals no matter what! So that way no matter who wins the four of us can split the prize!" Hayner told Roxas.

"Alright you're on!"

"Don't forget it's a Star Wars lightsaber duel so you have to cosplay as a Star Wars character. Your Storm Trooper friends are already set Roxas so no worries about them." Pence told Roxas.

"I'm gonna go as slave Leia." Olette told everyone.

"Whoa my lightsaber in my pants just extended!" Hayner told Olette.

"Just remember to get to the finals Hayner or we wont be having sex cause I don't fuck losers!"

"Ouch! Do you really not fuck guys who lose?" Pence asked Olette.

"No I only said that to motivate him."

"Alright then it's a promise! Now let's get down to business people! One ticket to the beach is 900 munny. How much for all four of us?" Hayner asked his friends.

"What about my new friends?" Roxas asked Hayner while pointing at the space morons.

"Just say they're in the military so they can get in for free since soldiers get in for free." Pence told Roxas.

"3600 munny." Olette told Hayner.

"And 300 each to spend there. What's that for all of us?"

"1200 munny. A total of 4800 munny."

"What are we gonna spend it on?" Roxas asked his friends.

"Nachos of course. What else is there to spend it on?" Hayner asked Roxas.

"Well there's always tacos of course." Roxas told Hayner.

"Roxas have you been paying attention to the news? There are no more tacos!" Hayner told Roxas.

"WHAT?!"

"Yeah they've been stolen by the Taco Bandit." Pence told Roxas.

"Nachos it is then...I guess." Roxas said with disappointment.

"So where exactly were we?" Hayner asked everyone.

"Were gonna need 4800 munny altogether. But we only have..."

"I've got 800..." Pence said.

"...650." Olette said.

"150...sorry I needed to buy MLP merchandise."

"That's 1600 munny! Were gonna need another 3200. Let's go find us some jobs and earn us some cash! We have till the train leaves to earn 800 munny each! Everyone meet back at the station with cash in hand!" Hayner told his friends before running off with Olette.

"I thought Hayner said he had this covered?" Pence said before running off.

"Whatever I don't give a fuck. Those nachos sure do sound pretty damn good right about now though. So what do you guys think we should do to earn some cash in what little time we have left?" Roxas asked the space morons aka his new friends.

"We can sell Grif to the nearest vendor that way you'll have your cash, while Grif will be forced to clean someone's disgusting rat infested house, oh bless this good day." Said Sarge.

"You can sell drugs." Grif told Roxas.

"You can have sex with women for cash." Tucker told Roxas.

"Steal cars and sell them for cash." Church told Roxas.

"Oh chauffeur people around while they have sex for cash!" Donut told Roxas.

"Protect celebrities as a body guard for cash!" Sarge told Roxas.

"Oh oh oh Roxas run out in the street and throw yourself in front of cars...for cash!" Caboose told Roxas.

"Enter into a fighting competition and beat people up for cash!" Simmons told Roxas.

"No wait better idea go on COPS and pose as a police officer for cash!" Church told Roxas.

"Oh God so many good ideas, I don't know which one I should pick first. But I will start with Caboose's suggestion first because it sounds fun." Said Roxas with a wide grin.

"I'm surprised he didn't say they all sound illegal." Church said.

"He doesn't seem very bright...like Caboose." Tucker told Church.

"They are all good jobs." Said Caboose stupidly.

"I hope Grif gets run over." Sarge said.

"Sorry Sarge but being run over isn't covered by my health insurance." Said Grif.

Later on Roxas and the space morons can be seen nearby a busy road with cars passing by. The space morons can be seen standing near Roxas waiting for him to run out into the road.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Tucker asked Church.

"It wasn't my idea...so no I don't think so."

"It was Caboose's idea remember? Any idea from him will automatically be worthless." Said Grif.

"OUCHIES!" Roxas yelled after running into the street and being hit by a bunch of cars while racking up a bunch of cash.

"Crap, you'll never catch me doing this, even if you paid me a million munny." Said Tucker.

"No Roxas you're doing it wrong. You're suppose to miss them." Said Caboose.

"No Caboose he's doing it right you're suppose to get hit by vehicles in order to get cash." Church told Caboose.

"Damn that looks like it hurts. Do we have any med-kits? Cause I thinks he's gonna need a lot of them by the time were done earning munny for the beach." Donut told his allies.

"Hell he'll probably need it for the medical bills, that looks like it hurt." Said Grif.

"I'M OK!" Roxas yelled before being hit by a mini van.

"If only he signed up for Obama's Obama Care he wouldn't have this problem." Church said.

"Yeah right Blue we all know that's nothing more then a scam! No thanks I'll buy my farm land, guns, gold, and ammo so I can have a place to shoot Grif whenever I want." Sarge told Church.

"Sarge you're being brainwashed by fools like Gary Bleck, Shane Hammity, and Phil O' RLY." Church stated.

"I'll have you know Blue that real Americans care about their guns and their right to use their guns!" Sarge told Church.

"As a homosexual republican I find this conversation to be very offensive." Donut told everyone.

"I totally agree Sarge. I mean how else are we going to win this...um fake war?" Simmons told Sarge.

" I don't care about politics I just don't vote." Grif said while eating a taco.

"Where did Grif get that taco from?" Donut asked his allies.

"Isn't it obvious Donut? It was given to him by the Taco Bandit to throw off his trail! If only Taco Man was here so he could track him down and kick his ass along with Grif's." Said Sarge while never believing Grif is the Taco Bandit.

"That's right Sarge I'm not the Taco Bandit." Grif said happily that Sarge was too stupid to know that he was in fact the Taco Bandit.

"Maybe the Taco Bandit is Grif's Mexican cousin?" Donut pondered out loud.

"If that's the case then we should contact Taco Man so he could take Grif and interrogate him about the whereabouts of his ugly Mexican cousin." Sarge stated.

"Sarge it's 2008 I doubt Taco Man has time for that." Simmons told Sarge.

"So what your point Simmons? Beating up Grif is an all American past time, anyone whose a real American who invests in farmland and bullets will enjoy beating up Grif. That's the way Taco Man lives." Said Sarge with pride and nostalgia.

"How much longer do we have to watch Roy get run over by vehicles? I'm getting bored!" Tucker whined.

"IT'S ROXAS...SHUT UP TUCKER!" Caboose yelled at Tucker before punching him...hard causing him to lose his over shields.

"Hey Caboose! Don't forgot whose inside this idiot, you idiot!" Church yelled at Caboose.

"Tucker now look what you and your stupid rock did...you almost hurt Church! The Easter Bunny and his Twin Brother Daryl won't come see you this year."

"Note to self never ever piss off Caboose." Said Grif.

"Yeah we should probably not insult that blond guy." Simmons noted.

"You mean that Super Saiyan fella? I wonder if he's related to that Goku guy?" Sarge wondered out loud.

"And I thought O'Malley left Caboose long ago, he has that mean temper again" Said Tucker.

"No he just hates you." Church told Tucker.

"And I thought he was just being stupid with me." Tucker commented.

"Nobody likes you Tucker." Church told Tucker.

"Just like the horrible evil doctor called Barney." Said Caboose.

"Doc isn't here Caboose." Church told Caboose.

"He's creepy like Tucker." Said Caboose.

"Man you guys are dicks! At least I have Yuffie." Tucker said.

"Not any more you don't." Church told Tucker.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

FLASHBACK:

Earlier Church can be seen monitoring Tucker's armour before receiving an e-mail from Yuffie. After reading said e-mail Church took it upon himself to answer the e-mail for Tucker. Church not only wrote down about how Tucker was trying to cheat on the ninja but also attached pictures as well. Church then sent the e-mail hoping the young girl would be smart enough to break up with Tucker.

"Ha! That'll teach you to be unfaithful in a relationship you child molester."

"You say something Church?" Tucker asked Church.

"Yeah stop clogging your armour with porn damn it!"

"Fuck you!"

Over at Hollow Bastion/Radiant Garden over in one of the many buildings Cid can be seen. The blond man can be seen sitting at a computer playing solitaire. Leon and the others were busy...doing who knows what. Leon is most likely scowling, being emo, and trying to be as serious as possible...hell reader I bet him and Cloud are having an emo contest to see who can be the most emo. Suddenly the computer alerts Cid to something...semi important.

"You have mail!" A monotone female voice said from the computer.

"Oh! Well let's see what we have here." Cid said with a...Southern accent? The hell is this shit reader?! OK fine I'll play along...

Cid goes to the e-mail browser aka Doc Mail and sees the e-mail for Yuffie that Church responded to. While drinking his jug of whiskey (might as well go with the Southern stereotypes/parodies) the blond Final Fantasy character then does a spit take...

"WHAT?! FUCKING SPACE MORONS!" Cid yells in anger.

"Cid what are you yelling about? I can hear you from outside...I'm trying my best to out emo Cloud! You're ruining my concentration." Leon told Cid after entering the building.

"Look at this!" Cid told Leon while pointing at the computer screen.

"...Fucking space morons." Leon said in a monotone quiet tone of voice after reading the e-mail.

"Now what do we do? We cant let Yuffie keep dating this creep...she's like family to us!"

"We cant let her see it either though...it'll ruin her and we cant afford to have everyone become emo. Because there can only be one and I'm gonna prove to Cloud once and for all that I'm the true emo around here!"

"Still going through your vampire phase?"

"I thirst for the blood of sluts!"

"I'm pretty sure it's virgins."

"I know what I said!"

"Still I think Yuffie has a right to know...it's her e-mail after all."

"Damn it Cid I'm the closest thing she has to a father and older brother figure I'll decide if she gets to see it or not!" Leon said while almost showing an emotion.

"Damn G that's harsh! But I think we should still tell her."

"Tell me what?" Yuffie asked the two males. The female ninja is now decked out in all black with some white and khaki clothing. A black bandanna can be seen around her forehead. She now has violet eyes as well reader.

"That you can't cook and your cooking is very horrible. How do you plan on getting married eventually with such horrible cooking skills?" Leon asked Yuffie.

"I only burned the soup once Squall!" Yuffie told Leon while poking him in the chest with every word she said.

"I told you to never call me that again at Traverse Town! Did I not tell you that?" He told her while poking her back in the boobs. I have no idea why reader...

"I believe what Leon meant to say was that you received an e-mail."

"Well it's about damn time Tucker e-mailed me back...it's been over a year since I've heard from him. Along with Sora for that matter..."

"Cid no don't do that!"

"What? Leon what's the matter? It's just an e-mail from Tucker. I know you guys don't like him...but still."

"Fine...but don't say I didn't warn you." Leon said while scowling and his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"Oh come on you guys are overreact-" Yuffie said while stopping in mid sentence after reading the e-mail from Church that she sent to Tucker.

"Yuffie? Are you OK? What's wrong?" Cid asked the ninja but already knowing the answer himself.

"I...can't...believe...this...that...bastard...he. ..TUCKER I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Yuffie screamed while bursting into tears.

"Told you so." Leon said with a sigh.

"Yuffie? You gonna be OK?" Cid asked the hyperactive female ninja with concern in his voice.

"I can't believe he would do this to me...I gave him everything...my love, and my shuriken...IF I EVER SEE THAT SON OF A BITCH AGAIN I'LL MURDER HIS ASS!" Yuffie yelled before grabbing Cid's harpoon and ramming it into the computer screen.

"AAAHHH...damn it Yuffie now I have to fix the fucking computer! This is gonna take forever..." Cid said while grumbling.

"I...I...I...I need to be alone! Don't come looking for me any time soon!" Yuffie told her allies while crying before leaving them alone.

"Well that went better than I expected."

"It's like My Chemical Romance and Green Day held a concert just now. It was beautiful..."

"Damn it Leon this is serious! Yuffie is really upset and it's all that green space moron's fault! How are we gonna make her feel better? She could end up committing suicide because of this!"

"I'm the one who told you not to show it to her. Besides she'll be fine...she's Yuffie. Now if you'll excuse me I need to find Cloud so I can have a rematch with him to see who is the true emo around here. I have to show my dominance as the alpha emo in these parts of the galaxy." Leon said before leaving Cid by himself.

"Well now I have to fix this damn computer...fucking space morons always ruining my life in some shape or form!"

END OF FLASHBACK!

"I'm done...finally!" Roxas said while covered in blood after crawling all the way to where the space morons are at.

"About time you came back Roy, I thought for a second there you forgot about us, not that I care about hanging around you though, I got babes to talk to then follow you." Said Tucker.

"Ugh...this is why you're single again." Church told Tucker with disgust.

"Uh...I think I'm gonna pass out." Roxas said before passing out from the lack of blood.

"Donut use one of the med-kits to heal the Super Saiyan fellow on the double cupcake!"

"If he's a Super Saiyan then he shouldn't be passing out from blood loss, they're like gods." Said Tucker.

"Oh man Sarge can I be nurse Donut?"

"What? But I just ate, please say no sir." Grif begged Sarge.

"I was gonna say no, but if it will make Grif loose his lunch then go right ahead cupcake." Said Sarge.

"SWEET!" Donut said before wearing his nurse uniform and healing Roxas with a med-kit.

Later on Roxas and the space morons meet up with Hayner, Olette, and Pence at the Station Plaza...

"About time we made it, it felt like we had been walking forever." Complained Grif.

"You kidding me? We only got here like in 5 minutes Grif." Said Simmons.

"That's too long for me, I can't stand waiting for 5 minutes, I rather go to sleep than wait." Said Grif with a yawn.

"Dude you complain about everything, I mean who does that?" Tucker asked a very stupid question reader.

"Gee I don't know maybe you Tucker?" Church retorted.

"Hey I...I'll get back to you on that." Said Tucker shutting up.

"Yo is everyone here and accounted for?" Hayner asked his friends.

"Everyone except Grif." Said Sarge while shooting Grif in the torso.

"Ow...WTF!?" Said Grif as he fell to the ground laying in his own puddle of blood.

"It's a good thing I got my nurse outfit." Said Donut with a smile.

"That'll be a negative cupcake, We'll leave Grif here to rot." Said Sarge.

"Look I know you hate him and I pretty much hate everyone here, but we need everyone accounted for if we wanna leave Sarge." Church explained.

"Fine take all the fun out of it why don't ya." Said Sarge disappointedly.

"Hold still Grif." Said Donut while healing Grif.

"Man this sucks big time." Said Grif.

"You're being healed so you can't complain." Said Simmons.

"How much do we have?" Pence asked Roxas.

"Eh...only this." Roxas said while holding out the munny he earned earlier which was covered in his blood.

"Not bad." Hayner told Roxas.

"Ha I bet I can make more munny with hos...yo." Said Tucker.

"Is there a way for me to kill you in here?" Church pondered.

"Nice work guys. Adding to what we had before we now have 5000 munny." Olette said while showing everyone a brown pouch with what looked like a Canadian maple leaf on it.

"Nice!" Hayner told her.

"Let's go buy some tickets." Olette said after giving Roxas the munny pouch.

"Can we use the money to buy some whoppers at Burger King instead?" Said Grif.

"Stop thinking about food Grif, this is a serious matter and you didn't make that munny." Said Simmons.

"No Grif but we can stop by Red King! Where instead of a whopper you'll be getting a stomach full of lead instead! Also instead of having it your way you'll be having it my way! Which is the Red Army way mind you! Also I'll be having a tall cold glass of your blood also since I only drink the blood of my enemies! So do you want fries with that dirtbag?!" Sarge asked Grif while pointing his shotgun at the orange soldier.

"Nah I think I'll pass, Burger King is way better!"

"I didn't ask you if you wanted it or not you lazy slacker! So here's you meal to go you big orange baby!" Sarge told Grif before firing his shotgun at Grif's torso.

"I could make that kind of munny if I wanted too I just don't feel like it." Said Grif.

"Grif keep pushing our buttons and I'll bury you in Davy Jone's Locker." Said Sarge.

"Oooh are we gonna be pirates Mr. Pirate Captain?" Said Caboose.

"Can I be the cabin boy? Oh I always wanted to be the cabin boy on a pirate ship." Said Donut.

"If you like I can hire you as the cabin boy for our Pirates of The Caribbean theme ride at my new amusement park." Said Church, "However to save more munny, I'll only pay you 5 munny an hour." Said Church.

"Sweet! I'm in." Said Donut.

"We can't be together forever...so let's make the most of the time we do have together." Hayner told Roxas.

"I hope he didn't mean us, I would really hate to be here forever." Said Tucker.

"I know, I wouldn't want to be around Grif forever." Sarge stated.

"Wuh?"

"I'm just fucking with you!" Hayner told Roxas before jokingly punching him in the stomach. He then catches up with Pence and Olette.

"Whoa!" Roxas grunts after tripping on the ground from a stick.

Riku in his Organization coat who is standing by Roxas picks him up and whispers something in his ear...

"What?"

Both teams were left stunned, they too saw Riku, but they didn't recognize him, instead they thought it was an emo from the Organization.

"Did you guys see what I just saw?" Said Grif.

"I saw the Grim Reaper." Said Caboose stupidly.

"That wasn't the Grim Reaper, it looked like one of those emos we encountered at Castle Oblivion." Said Simmons.

"Men, the Men In Black have found us, and our location has been compromised, we must train very hard to beat them at all costs! Failure means the end of Red Team as we know it." Said Sarge in a very dramatic manner.

"Sir they're just a bunch of emos, they have no business with us." Said Simmons.

"Nonsense Simmons, they are a real danger and are working with our enemies the Blues." Said Sarge.

"What the fuck are you talking about? We never met him before." Said Church.

"A good thing Shadow is not here to Train us." Said Grif.

"You weren't even there you idiot." Said Simmons.

"Yeah I was on the moon, Donut did me a favour. But I also went through training after coming back from the moon sadly." Said Grif referring to their time in CoM.

"Oh shut up Grif, you lazy slacker." Said Simmons.

"Whatever."

"That guy he seemed kinda familiar." Said Donut.

"Donut don't talk about how you have this extra sixth sense or something that's bullshit." Grif stated.

"Huh? I'm not." Donut replied.

"Roxas! Three minutes left!" Hayner told Roxas.

"Alright!"

Roxas looks back to noticed Riku is now gone. He then catches up with his three friends in the station. Hayner bends at the teller and holds up 4 fingers.

"Four students for Big Ttitted Sluts Gone Wild!" Hayner said with a grin.

"HAYNER!" Olette yelled at the blond boy.

"Oh fine...just four students for train tickets oh and seven space morons as well."

"Roxas, the munny dawg!" Pence told Roxas.

"Wait...oh no!"

"Wuh?" Hayner asked confused.

"That Slip Knot fan looking guy took it!"

"Where the hell are you going?" Olette asked Roxas.

"Remember when I fell earlier? I had the munny before that. I bet that emo took it!"

"You're wrong it was obviously Grif who took your money so he could use it to buy whoppers from Burger King." Said Sarge.

"Uh hello? I was right here next to you." Said Grif.

"Shut up Deadman!" Said Sarge.

"Hell Grif can't even lift a finger to save his life much less steal sir and it looked like the emo stole it from Roxas." Simmons informed him.

"Emo?" Hayner asked confused.

"He couldn't have gotten too far away with his emoness..."

"What the hell are you rambling on about Roxas? There was no emo." Hayner asked Roxas.

"Are you sure about that? I can hear emo music like My Chemical Romance, Green Day, Slip Knot, and Fall Out Boys in my head though."

"Oh boy..." Pence said with a sigh after hearing the train whistle and knowing they had missed it.

"There really wasn't anyone there?" Roxas asked everyone.

"If there wasn't then are we in some kind of fucked up dream or something?" Said Church.

"It could be possible, hell this place may not even be real." Said Simmons.

"Simmons don't say such dumb stuff, of course this place is real." Said Grif.

"I'm not so sure, I've seen things that indicate we could be in some virtual computer world." Simmons stated.

Both teams just looked at him with a WTF look and there was a small silence, till Church broke it.

"You know he could be right, I was in a fake virtual world inside that containment unit until you guys busted me out." Said Church.

"Really Church? Then why didn't you tell us?" Said Tucker.

"Like you morons would believe me anyways." Church commented.

"If both of you are right, then how the heck did we get inside a computer video game?" Said Sarge.

"More like a simulator sir." Said Simmons.

"Oh like The Sims? I loved that game." Said Donut.

"I never did beat The Sins." Said Caboose.

"So wait if we're inside a computer world, then that taco I ate was fake?" Said Grif.

"Most likely." Said Simmons.

Grif then got on his knees and shouted in sadness up to the Heavens...

"NNNOOO!"

"Heh heh heh warms my heart to see Grif Sad." Said Sarge sadistically.

Later on Roxas, Hayner, Pence, Olette, and the space morons can be seen eating sea-salt ice cream on the clock tower ledge. The train is moving in the background, while Roxas sits and thinks, his ice cream is dripping.

"It's melting Roxas." Olette told Roxas.

"Sorry."

"Hey Grif are you gonna eat yours?" Said Donut.

"Hell no, I don't eat fake food." Said Grif who was annoyed.

"But you'll be starving and you hate that." Donut stated.

"I don't even like salt, here you go Donut." Grif tossed the ice cream to him but it hit Caboose instead.

"AAAHHH...my face." Said Caboose while taking the ice cream bar off his visor.

"Way to go Grif you dumbass." Said Church.

"Whatever Blue." Said Grif while smoking in his helmet.

"Don't be a pussy Roxas...and don't waste that ice cream that's good cum you're wasting there!" Hayner told Roxas.

"That was pretty weird though."

"Odd." Olette agreeing with Roxas.

"Man this is good ice cream...tastes just like you Olette." Hayner told Olette.

"Can you feel Sora?" Roxas said to himself.

"Can you feel Sora?" Riku asked Roxas inside Roxas' head during a flashback.

"Woah Church he just said Sora, does that mean he's nearby?" Said Tucker.

"If this Sora guy, who I never met, is pulling a prank on us, then we should like kick his ass." Said Church.

"Oh boy I sure do miss the Spiky Haired Kid...I have lots of presents for him!" Caboose told everyone.

"Do we ask him if he knows this Sora guy?" Said Donut to Sarge.

"Whose Sora again? Is he the kid with the big yellow clown shoes, spiky hair, and giant metal key?" Grif asked everyone.

"He's Riku's friend Grif the one he was looking for in Castle Oblivion!" Simmons told Grif.

"Obviously dirt bag he's the spiky haired fellow that we agreed to help Riku find in our second adventure." Sarge told Grif.

The screen then becomes scrambled like a screwed up TV...

"Restoration at 28%."

"Namine hurry the fuck up...and remember to push the action button when you're done! I'm running out of Fresh Prince of Bel Air reruns to watch."

Riku can be seen standing near Diz while tossing Roxas' munny pouch in the air while Diz can be seen still sitting in front of the computer screen watching TV.

"I hope she gets our stuff while she is at it...I could really go for some cigarettes right now." Said Riku.

"Indeed I still want my soda...I cant enjoy Will Smith's comedy without a soda."

"At least Grif isn't here to drink it...now if only I had my box with me." Riku joked.

"Those space morons are on to us!"

"Don't worry those space morons aren't a threat, none of them are, they're just pests we should ignore, now I feel like smoking for some reason." Said Riku who sounded like Solid Snake.

"They're gonna ruin our plans to wake Sora up...use the the R2 button to cycle through your weapons inventory. Select the Soul Eater and use it to defeat the space morons."

"Let me see if I have a box first, I always need my box." Said Riku.

"Remember to use the action button near ladders to climb up them."

"Yeah, yeah I know Col...I mean Diz, is it really that hard to make a beach?" Said Riku.

"We'd be giving those emos another entry point if we made one."

"And this money I robbed from Roxas? I think I should use it to spend it on me."

"We could always spend it on Sea-Salt ice cream of course. Objects from that town must be kept from the real world. You can delete that by using the action button."

"Sorry I don't think so, I need it to buy drugs and cigarettes." Said Riku.

"What are those space morons equipped with?"

"They're armed with five five sixers and pineapples..." Riku told Diz.

Still sleeping in his pod Sora starts to remember several events from his first adventure with the Blues...

"As the one with the 3 foot metal key you must already know not to go and sticking it in every hole you come across." King Triton told Sora.

"So many places to go and people to fuck...I know I'll get there someday. I want to meet the man of my dreams who will then leave me for another girl which in turn will cause me to commit suicide. After giving him a nice wet and sloppy blowjob with my mouth." Aerial told Sora.

"I now dub thee girly men as junior heroes...just barely." Phil told Sora, Donald, Goofy, and the Blues.

"Hey! What the fuck you mean junior heroes? Asshole!" Said Donald.

"You girly men still don't know what it means to be a true hero...that's OK because were gonna pump you up!"

"I wish for your freedom General Genie!" Sergeant Aladdin told Genie.

"Al!"

"Sally why didn't I listen to you and went to Hot Topic during Black Friday?"

"Don't feel bad Jack there's still time to buy more My Chemical Romance and Slip Knot CD's."

"Power!" Sora yelled before summoning Mushu.

"I am Donkey...er no I mean Eddie Murphy...no wait I mean Mushu!"

"Or are you too emo to play them now that you have the Keyblade?"

"Riku! What the hell are you doing here? You're too emo to be here!"

An image of Kairi then flashes in Sora's head...

"Did you find her yet?"

Sora can be seen on the deck of Captain Hook's pirate ship which looks like an amusement park attraction...

"I still cant believe I flew...like Superman! Wait till I tell Kai-"

Kairi's image flashes in Sora's mind again...

"I wonder if she'll believe me? Eh probably not..."

Tinkerbell then floats beside Sora. Over at the Olympus Coliseum Cloud walks beside Sora's group...

"I'm searching as well."

"For your light? Make sure to not lose sight of it. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go prove that I'm the one true emo in these parts of the galaxy."

"Sora where the hell are you going? Don't you wanna do mushrooms with us?" Piglet asked Sora.

"I have to go look for my friends. They're probably still waiting for me."

Pooh waves goodbye to Sora and the other stuffed animals watch Sora leave...

"Where the hell are Donald and Goofy at? Oh and I guess the Blues as well...I suppose."

"Instead of worrying about them, you should be asking about her. But don't dare think she's just gonna fall for you, I call dibs." Said Riku.

Kairi's face flashes once again in Sora's head at the word her. Sora then locks the keyhole at Neverland Ranch. Sora slightly remembers Riku and Kairi when their memories returned to him in Castle Oblivion. Diz remains at the computer while watching Happy Days reruns. Namine can be seen standing in the white room where Sora's pod is. Roxas' consciousness resides with Namine's...

"Who are you?" Roxas asked Namine.

Namine just turns around and smiles. Roxas then wakes up in his room with the space morons with him. Namine is just standing there but then vanishes when Roxas turns to look at her.

"Wuh?" Roxas said confused.

**To Be Continued...**


	3. I Like Me!

**Red vs Blue: The Kingdom Hearts 2 Saga**

**Episode 3: I Like Me!**

**Twilight Town Day 3**

The next day Roxas and the space morons walk into the Usual Spot and see a letter on the couch...

"Meet us at the station. Today's the day we score with all the hot chicks in bikinis...er I mean hit the beach. And don't worry about the munny I got this covered dawg." Roxas said after reading the letter from Hayner.

"Did you just say babes in hot bikinis? Dude I'm so there." Said Tucker.

"I don't think there's really a beach." Simmons deduced.

"I knew it! Those damn Democrats took away the beach! Lock and load men we have some donkey lovers to deal with." Sarge told everyone.

"Hey I take offence to that statement, even Democrats love porn too you know." Said Tucker.

"Can't we just find the nearest taco stand instead?" Grif asked.

"But aren't all the tacos gone?" Said Roxas.

"Yeah Grif didn't you see Taco Man's presidential speech about the missing tacos?" Simmons told Grif.

"Yeah I know, my stomach thinks for me first." Said Grif.

"And my shotgun thinks for me...right now it thinks that Grif is a dead man!" Sarge said before shooting Grif with his trusty shotgun.

"How is it that he isn't dead?" Said Roxas with an arched eyebrow.

"Hey don't question how we do things Mr. Super Saiyan or you'll be meeting my shotgun next!" Sarge threatened Roxas while pressing his shotgun against his face.

"Don't worry its how we always start our emergency plans too." Donut informed him.

"Damn it Donut don't give away all our strategies in front of the Blues...especially when Riku isn't around to make proper suggestions about them." Sarge told Donut.

"You're right sir, I should be ashamed of my actions." Said Donut in a dramatic way.

"It's OK cupcake I'm sure this is somehow Grif's fault anyways."

"I remember Riku telling us his suggestions to our plans like it was yesterday." Said Simmons.

"Simmons if you're going to continue this story please do so in a flashback." Sarge told Simmons.

"Yes sir, sorry sir." Said Simmons in his usual kiss ass mode.

The scene then changes to the dreaded Castle Oblivion, during the time of CoM reader. Here we have Riku, Shadow, Tails, and the useless Red Team. Sarge was planning out a battle strategy for the Blues and MIB and everything is in HD reader.

"Alright men and Donut, here is my plan that is so full proof it'll make those emos cringe at the very thought of it." Said Sarge.

"Oooh I'm liking the idea now sir." Said Donut.

"Me too what is it Sarge?" Said Simmons.

"Let me guess, it involves me getting hurt in a ridiculous way or me being left as bait for them so they can come and sacrifice me?" Said Grif.

Sarge turned to Grif in bitterness...

"How the hell did you know my plan before I could even say it dirt bag, are you a mind reader or something?" Said Sarge.

"Oh oh oh...read my mind next Grif oh please!" Said Donut.

"Calm down Donut, Grif can't read minds." Said Simmons.

"Fuck!" Said Donut.

"Because it's basically the same plan over and over again Sarge, you never make up a plan that makes sense or has me not getting hurt." Grif stated.

"That's not true Grif." Said Sarge.

"It's not? Oh please enlighten me sir." Said Grif in a sarcasm.

"You very damn well know that all my plans make sense even Donut and Simmons understand them." Said Sarge.

"I got them all memorized too." Said Simmons.

"And I like it when I'm with Grif in them." Said Donut.

"No Sarge, your plans never make sense, you just contradicted yourself." Said Grif.

"You're asking for a death wish Grif, you don't ever question my plans. Why I share them with Riku, and he thinks they are very well made, I even ask him for suggestions, right Riku?" Said Sarge to Riku.

Riku sighed...

"Wrong Sarge, I hate to admit it but Grif is right, none of your plans ever make a lick of sense, they all involve Grif being hurt or something that is wacky. Here's a suggestion shut the fuck up and let me do the planning ok?!" Said Riku.

"He just said I'm right, the sky is gonna fall any second now." Said Grif.

Back to the space morons...

"Riku also said that all our plans suck and that we should either stop making plans or just let him make all the future plans for us." Donut told Sarge.

"He was obviously under the influence of the Blues cupcake conspiring to tear us apart, well it didn't work, I manage to convert Riku as apart of Red Team. Take that you dirty Blues, score another one for the Red army."

"Actually sir he did say that." Simmons reminded Sarge.

"Simmons question me again and I will pull rank!" Said Sarge.

"I heard him say it as well." Grif told Sarge.

"Now I expected your insubordination Grif, Simmons and Donut remember to not be a Grif." Said Sarge.

"Dear Sarge all your plans suck...stop making them ASAP!" Riku told Sarge through Twitter.

"Hmm His Twitter account must've been hacked by those no good dirty Blues, now they're launching cyber warfare against us. Simmons I need you and Grif to destroy their super computer ASAP with your heads, or Grif's head, that works also." Said Sarge.

"Hey jack ass were right here!" Church told Sarge.

"Also none of use Twitter on a regular basis...except Sora." Tucker told Sarge.

"I tried to add Church as my friend on there." Caboose told Sarge.

"Sorry Blues if you wanna talk or die, talk to my secretary Donut." Said Sarge.

"Guys we don't have time for this...we need to go to the beach. Even though I'd rather watch MLP." Roxas told the space morons.

"Screw ponies Roxas, girls in bikinis are better, Bow Chicka Bow Wow!" Said Tucker.

"I don't like your attitude...I think somebody needs a hug." Roxas told Tucker before hugging him...tightly.

"Oh can I join?!" Donut asked Roxas excitedly before also hugging Tucker and Roxas.

"Oh me too!" Caboose said before joining Donut in the group hug.

"Oh God this is so g...I mean non heterosexual." Said Tucker.

"Alright you three stop trying to molest Tucker...please." Church told Roxas, Caboose, and Donut.

Later on Roxas and the space morons rides to the Market Street: Station Heights and sees Pence and Olette.

"Hey."

"Morning." Olette told Roxas before both her and Pence froze in midwalk.

"Wuh?" Roxas said with confusion.

"They froze! What the fuck that doesn't seem physically possible." Said Tucker. "Are we in the Matrix or something?"

"Tucker we already established where we are earlier!" Church told Tucker.

"Jesus Christ he never listens." Said Simmons.

"What in the name of ponies happened?!" Roxas asked.

"Everyone froze Roxas, even though its not snowing." Said Caboose.

"This isn't what MLP is all about! Were suppose to love and tolerate everyone." Roxas told his new allies.

"Yeah well wake up Roxas, we all hate each other to the core." Said Tucker.

"That's it all of you are now going to be loved and tolerated to death!" Roxas said before forcing the space morons except for Church into one big group hug. Which Caboose and Donut thoroughly enjoyed...way too much.

"Air...I need air...now!" Said Grif.

"Dear God let go of me I want my personal space damn it!" Said Simmons.

"I demand to be released or I'll shoot Grif till I run out of ammo!" Said Sarge.

"If this is love and tolerance then I hate it more than Spring cleaning at the base." Said Tucker.

"Oh man this is so going onto You-Tube...I'm gonna get so many fucking hits. I bet I'll end up being more famous than that annoying Fred guy!" Church told everyone.

"This is like the best hug ever, oh my God!" Said Donut in a high school girl like voice.

"We should do this everyday!" Caboose told everyone.

"NO!" Said everyone Except for Roxas, Donut, and Church.

"No, screw that, I need more material for You-Tube!" Said Church.

"Now don't you guys feel much better?" Roxas asked his allies while hugging all of them.

"More like shit." Said Tucker.

"I think you guys need to watch MLP with me." Roxas told his new friends.

"No thanks, Donut tries to make us watch that show every Saturday morning, it just bored me to death." Said Grif.

"Can you stop touching us now?" Tucker asked Roxas.

"Yeah and seriously you're a grown man, that's show is for little girls." Said Simmons.

"I don't mind watching it as long as it makes Grif bored."

"He's not a grown man he's 14 years old." Tucker told Simmons while pointing at Roxas.

"Oh you know what I mean, he's still too old to be watching a little girl's show." Said Simmons. "And don't correct me damn it that's my job or Sarge's.

"You either let go of me or Grif is gonna be a very holy person soon...if you know what I mean." Sarge told Roxas.

"Nah I'm good like this." Roxas told everyone.

"Well kid you asked for it." Said Sarge while reaching for his shotgun.

"Whoa dude watch it were all too close to each other!" Tucker told Sarge.

"Prepare to meet the Heavenly Father Grif, I hope he kicks your ass just as hard." Said Sarge as he started shooting Grif with his shotgun.

"Ow-how-how-how." Grif said while making gagging sounds.

"Alright that's it I've had enough now get off of me!" Tucker said before pushing Roxas off of him.

"Ugh...about time we broke free from that stupid hug!" Simmons said.

"Aww man...I was having SO much fun though! What about you Grif?" Donut asked Grif.

"...My ribs hurt."

"Good, I like to see your pain dirt bag." Said Sarge.

"What is he a sadist?" Said Church.

"We should hangout more." Roxas said with a smile.

"For some reason Church he's not so bad." Said Tucker.

"We've been hanging out with him for 2 straight days now!" Church told Tucker.

"And? What's your point?" Said Tucker.

"We need to get out of this fake town!"

"Don't look at me, I don't have the slightest idea. Hey you're an AI. computer thing, can't you use your computer tech knowledge to get us out of here?" Said Tucker.

"No."

Roxas runs up to Pence and Olette but is stopped by Namine...

"Hey there Roxas."

"Um...Uh...Ah...Gah...Hi...And you are?" Roxas said nervously.

"I wanted to see you in person at least once."

"Who...me?"

"Of course you." Namine said before walking away.

"Man Church you su..Oh hey where did that hot blonde chick come from? Hey baby wait for me, I'll show you a really good time Bow Chicka Bow Wow." Said Tucker.

"Oh hey Tucker it's that girl Sora had sex with." Caboose told Tucker.

"Wait your kidding me right?" Said Tucker to Caboose.

"Man that looks like the girl that Riku talked to." Grif said.

"Oh yeah, what is she doing here guys?" Said Donut.

"Tucker the only person who shouldn't know and or remember this is me." Church told Tucker.

"Oh wait I remember her, she put Sora, Donald, and Goofy to sleep." Said Tucker.

"Oh man did you guys see that girl?! She was beautiful...I wonder if she likes MLP as well?" Roxas asked his friends.

"We all saw her." Said every space moron.

"I was thinking about tacos." Grif told Roxas.

"Grif the next thing you're gonna be thinking about is your medical bill if you keep on pissing me off." Said Sarge.

"Do you guys think she'll make me a sandwich?" Grif asked everyone.

"Dude that is so sexist, you don't tell a girl to make you food." Said Tucker rather ironically.

"But Tucker you told Yuffy to make you food all the time."

"Only because I was hungry, having ninja sex keeps you tired and hungry." Said Tucker.

"Whatever Tucker you're a hypocrite." Church told Tucker.

"At least I got a body and a dick." Said Tucker.

"But no girlfriend." Caboose reminded him.

"Shut up Caboose, Yuffie is still my girlfriend." Said Tucker.

"That's not what my best friend Church told me."

"Church is lying to you obviously." Said Tucker.

"Yeah Caboose...I'm not your best friend." Church told Caboose.

"I love you too Church." Said Caboose.

"Olette dragged me along to go shopping...ugh!" Pence told Roxas after unfreezing.

"You guys wanna come with us?"

"Um...uh...wait a second...did you guys just see that?"

"He's just stalling." Pence told Olette.

"Suit yourself then. Will see you later Roxas...OK?"

"Alright. I wonder if she went to that old abandoned mansion that looks kind of like the Playboy Mansion?"

Later on Roxas and the space morons run to the Tram Common and see Namine. They run to the hole where the woods are...

"Wuh?"

A dark portal appears and a few Dusks appear and try to pull Roxas in it...

"Get the fuck off of me!"

"Men were being attacked! Sacrifice Grif!" Sarge told his men before reloading his shotgun.

"RETREAT!" Tucker yelled before doing so.

"Hey get back here you no good dirty Blues!" Sarge yelled at the Blues.

Roxas and the space morons then run back to the Tram Common and the Dusks follow them. They then run into the Sandlot catching the attention of the homosexual gangbanger Seifer and his followers Fuu, Rai, and Vivi.

"Hey bitch get that sweet ass back over here!" Seifer told Roxas...cause he's a homosexual reader you should know this by now.

"Who's that?" Fuu asked Seifer.

"I dunno but they're about to be sodomized by me personally the Candy Man. Now find a weapon and let the beatings begin!"

"Oh great more Final Fantasy rip off's." Said Church.

"What are you talking about? We already met these guys..." Simmons told Church.

"Yeah I know I just wanted to say that, so what?" Church replied.

"Alright men now here's our chance to kills those no good dirty albinos in round 2!" Sarge told everyone.

"Wait do we have to really fight them? Why not just let Roxas do it?" Said Tucker.

"Because you touch yourself at night." Church told Tucker.

"That's not a reason Church." Said Tucker.

"Sounds like one to me." Sarge agreed.

"I'll definitely accept it." Simmons agreed with Sarge.

"I touch Grif at night." Donut shared.

"Tucker also touches his rock." Caboose shared.

"I just want to stand here and do nothing." Grif told everyone.

"No dirt bag you'll be sent to Mars instead." Said Sarge while reloading.

"Well Sarge we cant send him to Mars but we can send him to the moon." Donut told Sarge.

"I doubt it'll work again." Said Grif.

党SHOOT THE MOON!" Donut said while whipping out his pink yo yo.

Donut then wrapped Grif around the waist with his yo yo before sending him towards the air. Grif then went through the sky while still being tied up by Donut's yo yo. Moments later Grif can be seen in space. He then fell on the surface of the moon head first creating a hole in the ground.

"Ouch" Said Grif as he landed on the moon.

"I wonder who he is gonna fall on this time?" Said Simmons.

"Probably the Super Saiyan fellow." Sarge told Simmons.

"No doubt sir, you are quite the guesser." Said Simmons in his kiss ass mode.

Roxas notices one of the foam bats and rolls to grab it. Roxas tries to fight the Dusks, but is thrown down, his weapons having no effect. He stands back up and notices that Seifer, Vivi, Fuu, and Rai are completely frozen in time.

"Shit that can't be good." Roxas said.

"Roxas! Use the 3 foot metal key that can be used as a sword and a dildo at the same time!" Namine told Roxas from a building overlooking the Sandlot.

One of the Dusks attacks Roxas, who blocks with his hands and is transported to the Station of Serenity on the blue coloured Sora platform. Moments later the Reds and Blues fall from the sky and land on Roxas. Suddenly a sword, shield, and staff appear out of nowhere on the platform from a bursts of light. Roxas can be seen with a dazed look on his face while under all 6 of the space morons...

"Ouchies." Roxas said.

"Ouch my back." Said Simmons.

"Good grief this is becoming a tired running gag." Said Grif.

"At least I landed on Grif." Said Donut.

"Get off of me Donut."

"This sucks! Can you guys got off of me? Your crushing my back." Said Tucker to the Reds.

"I'm on top of the world." Said Caboose as he was on top of everyone.

"Yeah good for you Caboose now get the fuck off of us." Said Tucker.

"Man I'm lucky I don't have a body right now because I'd hate to be in this dog pile with all of you." Said Church.

"Men I order you to get off of me pronto, were fighting a war, not laying on our backs like Grif." Said Sarge.

"I can't feel my body." Roxas told his space moron allies.

"A good thing I don't have one right now, but I still want one. And Tucker can you move your head? I hate seeing Grif's face." Said Church.

"Red and Blue Storm Trooper cosplayers if I die can you tell that blonde haired angel...that I'll miss her?"

"Sure right after I fuck her." Said Tucker.

"Sorry Roxas but she already had sex with someone..." Caboose told Roxas.

"Aww man..."

"I don't care if Sora fucked her, I'll fuck her myself." Said Tucker.

"No way she's mine!" Roxas said angrily before knocking the space morons off of his back.

Roxas then runs over to the weapons and chooses the sword and seconds later it then transforms into the Kingdom Keyblade...

"Stay...the...fuck...away...from...my...beautiful. ..angel...you...green...armoured...freak...of...na ture!" Roxas told Tucker while bashing him over and over again with his Keyblade while fire engulfed his eyes.

"Whoa Tucker I think you might've pissed him off, I think you should say you're sorry." Said Church.

"Um I am sorry?" Said Tucker.

"Oh man Sora has never been that angry at us before...or Church." Caboose told everyone.

"Whoa what a rush...sorry about that I just started seeing red for a minute and then completely blacked out. Is everyone OK?" Roxas asked his allies.

"..." Tucker stood in silence.

"Um yeah, is he bipolar?" Said Grif.

"Shut the fuck up Grif and never interrupt me when I'm about to make a very important speech! Roxas that was the most amazing thing I have ever seen in the many years I've fought in this war! Son we could really use your help to fight the Blues. Hell you can even take Grif's place cause hell we definitely don't need him. I think you'd be a great asset to our team!" Sarge told Roxas after being amazed by the way he beat up Tucker.

"But you didn't even make a speech when I spoke. So how am I interrupting?" Said Grif.

"Quite dirt bag I'm in the middle of recruiting a new soldier!" Sarge told Grif before meleeing him with his shotgun.

"Ow! WTF?" Said Grif as he got meleed.

"Man this platform is awesome...hey look were on it along with that spiky haired kid that's friends with Riku!" Donut told his allies while pointing at the blue platform they were standing on.

"Why is there a painting of Sora? What douchebag likes to draw him?" Said Tucker.

"Caboose told me that we followed him on some other platforms once before." Church told Tucker.

"Yeah I remembered that, we even made a bet and you lost to me big time." Said Tucker.

"Yeah? Well fuck you I'm rich now!"

"Do you mind if I borrowed some munny?" Said Tucker.

"Stay away from my munny!"

"I'll give you an IOU." Said Tucker.

"No!"

"Damn it." Said Tucker.

Dusks storm the platform and attack Roxas' group. Roxas uses his Keyblade to strike one of the Nobodies. Sarge fires his shotgun at a Dusk while meleeing it. Caboose fires his assault rifle at one of the Dusks' abdomen. Simmons aimed his battle rifle at one of the nearby Dusks and fired at it's head. Tucker summoned his energy sword and slashed at one of the Dusks multiple times while Church criticized his fighting. Grif lazily stood still and fired his battle rifle everywhere while hoping he would eventually hit something without having to actually move. Donut fired his battle rifle at a Dusk hitting it multiple spots on it's body before sticking it with a plasma grenade on it's head. A treasure chest appears and Roxas opens it only to find a med-kit inside it. A door then appears at the other end of the platform and then suddenly a voice is heard from out of nowhere...

"Be very careful. Beyond this door lies a completely unfamiliar world. But be sure to not be afraid and piss yourself in fear. And don't stop moving." The voice told Roxas.

"Hey Tucker it's the voice that talked to Sora...no wait this one sounds female. The last one sounded like Mickey Mouse." Caboose told Tucker while reloading his assault rifle.

Flashback:

The spiky haired boy can then be seen falling underwater again. He soon ends up landing on the ground. Suddenly a bunch of birds fly off from the ground. A portrait can be seen underneath the boy's feet. The portrait is a picture of Snow White and the seven dwarves.

"Hey kids there's sssooo much to do, yet so little time...but take your time and don't be afraid. The door is still shut of course. Now, step forward. Think you can you do it kiddos?" A mysterious voice asked the boy who sounded like Mickey Mouse.

The boy steps forward. Then, trapezoid stones with a sword, a shield, and a staff appeared. Suddenly Church, Tucker, and Caboose end up landing on the portrait.

"Ow my body, my head, and my back." The three soldiers whined after landing on top of the portrait.

"Ow my freaking head...uh...where the hell are we now?" Church asked while rubbing his head.

"I'm not too sure...oh hey there's that kid from earlier." Tucker said while getting off the floor.

"What is he doing?" Church asked while looking at the kid.

"He's looking at some weapons...for some reason. Pick the sword pick the fucking sword...don't be a cock bite pick the damn sword!" Tucker yelled at the kid.

"Dude I don't think he can hear yo-" Church said before being cut off by Caboose.

"Pick the wand...it's blue and it's...wandish and it can do magic. Like make it Christmas everyday...and give me a pony...and make Church not mean to me."

"Screw that pick the sword now! If he doesn't pick the sword I'm going to go over there and kick his not heterosexual ass! Plus ten dollars says he picks the sword."

"Tucker were not going to bet on some kid we don't know choosing weapons." Church told Tucker.

"Why not? Scared you'll lose your cash Church?"

"No! OK fine I'll raise you twenty dollars."

"Deal!" Tucker said with confidence.

"Hey! Guess what kiddies? If you give it form...It will give you strength. So make sure to choose well." The mysterious voice told the spiky haired boy.

After thinking it over for awhile the kid then picks the sword.

"Alright kids the power of the warrior. Invincible courage. A sword of terrible destruction and a symbol of badassery. Is this the power you seek?" The mysterious voice asks the kid.

"Hell yes motherfucker!"

"Oh yea I win pay up Church!" Tucker said with excitement.

"Fuck...OK fine! Hey Caboose give me twenty dollars. No on second thought make it thirty."

"Your path is set kids." The mysterious voice told the spiky haired kid. "Now, kiddos what will you give up in exchange? Like your virginity...ho!"

The spiky haired kid chooses the shield.

"The power of the guardian and a waste of time kids. Kindness to aid friends and a pussy of a weapon. A shield to repel all including any chance to get laid. You give up this power? If you say no then you're dumber than Faux News!"

"Of course!" The teen said while doing an impression of M. Bison.

"Hey kiddies you've chosen the power of the warrior which is badass. You've given up the power of the guardian which sucked anyways. Is this the form you choose?"

"OH YEAH!"

The trapezoid stones disappeared. The floor shatters and the boy falls down. The boy then lands on the circular floor with a portrait of Cinderella. A sword appeared in the boy's hands. Church, Tucker, and Caboose soon follow afterwards landing on the new portrait.

End of Flashback

"And I still didn't get my colouring book back." Said Caboose sadly.

"We didn't take your stupid colouring book Caboose!" Tucker told Caboose.

"Hey Caboose did you say everything looked shiny back then?" Said Church.

"No nothing was shiny back then...I hate it when people mess with my nostalgia. I like for my nostalgia to be all pixelated..."

"Nah I prefer the shininess Caboose." Said Church.

"Mr. Mouse always gave bad advice." Caboose told everyone.

"Hey I wonder where that black abyss leads to?" Said Donut while looking at the edge of the platform.

"Good question Donut, and I volunteer Grif to find out what it is." Said Sarge.

"Wait wha-" Said Grif as he was pushed off the ledge by Sarge and his shotgun.

"See you never dirt bag, hope you have a nice fall...not!" Said Sarge.

"FUCK!" Grif shouted while falling.

"I remember one time that Mouse had sex with a prostitute and somehow the woman died. He then made us and Riku get rid of the damn body. After that the Mouse and Riku snorted cocaine before we continued on in Castle Oblivion." Simmons shared with everyone.

Suddenly Grif could be seen landing on Simmons from above...

"Ouch."

"Grif's back sir." Donut informed Sarge.

"Grif I thought I told you to find out what leads down there not come back you dirt bag?!" Said Sarge.

"Sorry Sarge it was just an endless black abyss." Grif told Sarge.

"That somehow made you fall back down from the ceiling? Strange." Said Tucker.

"Sir Isaac Newton would be pissed." Simmons told Grif.

Roxas opens the door and he along with the space morons end up in the Station of Calling. Roxas' group then ascends the stained-glass stairs, fighting Dusks until they come across another door. Roxas and his space moron allies then encounter a giant Nobody named Twilight Thorn.

Moments later Roxas was suspended in the air with his feet and legs surrounded by bright lights. Twilight Thorn then appeared in front of the boy before attempting to attack him. A green triangle icon then appeared near Roxas and then boy then dodges the attack by flipping in the air. Roxas then whacks the giant Nobody in the face sending it a few feet backwards. Twilight Thorn then grabs Roxas with both of it's hands and tosses the teen in the air. Another triangle icon appeared and Roxas bashed Twilight Thorn on the head with his Keyblade.

Moments later Twilight Thorn then flipped the Sora platform over causing Roxas to fall in the black abyss. He then started falling straight towards the Nobody who can be seen holding a giant blue sphere in his hands. Once again Roxas performed another triangle icon move and threw his Keyblade at the blue sphere. This caused the sphere to blow up knocking Roxas and Twilight Thorn to the ground on the Sora platform. Roxas then got up and yanked his Keyblade out of the platform before using a card to summon...oh wait sorry reader this isn't Chain of Memories.

Roxas and the space morons then started attacking Twilight Thorn's head. Roxas hack and slashed at Twilight Thorn while Sarge fired his shotgun at it. Simmons switched to his rocket launcher before firing a couple rockets at Twilight Thorn's head. Grif fired his brute shot at Twilight Thorn. Donut fired his battle rifle at Twilight Thorn while throwing plasma grenades at it. Tucker slashed at Twilight Thorn's head with his energy sword while tossing frag grenades at it. Caboose fired his assault rifle at Twilight Thorn while yelling at it for attacking Roxas. Church just critiqued everyone's performance and gave tactical advice for the current fight.

Twilight Thorn got up and hovered above the platform and Roxas slashed at it's head a couple of times. The Nobody then raised it's self high in the air before puncturing the corners of the platform with it's limbs. White and black lines then filled the centre of the platform as a bunch of short Nobodies appeared around Roxas and the space morons. Roxas slashed one of the Creeper Nobodies before it burst into a blue light and dropping green HP balls. Sarge fought another Creeper shooting it in the face with his shotgun and meleeing it over the head while also insulting it. Simmons fired his battle rifle at one of the low ranking Nobodies in the head. Grif ricocheted the grenades from his brute shot at a nearby Creeper while slashing it with the bladed bayonet at the end of it. Donut stuck one of the Creepers' head with a plasma grenade before firing it with his battle rifle. Tucker lunged at a nearby Creeper with his sword before stabbing it all the way through before punching it in the face. Caboose fired at the last Creeper with his assault rifle before bashing it over the head.

Roxas and the space morons then ran towards Twilight Thorn who is now standing at the other end of the platform. While running at the giant Nobody Roxas avoided the white and black lines that were between him and Twilight Thorn. The space morons on the other hand did not and kept getting hurt by them. Roxas managed to reach Twilight Thorn and slashed at it's head a few times. Moments later Roxas was once again suspended in the air with the white lights wrapped around his limbs.

Twilight Thorn then once again appeared in front of the boy before attempting to attack him. Yet again another green triangle icon then appeared near Roxas and then boy then dodges the attack by flipping in the air. Roxas then whacks the giant Nobody in the face sending it a few feet backwards. Twilight Thorn then grabs Roxas with both of it's hands and tosses the teen in the air. Roxas then bashed Twilight Thorn on the head with his Keyblade.

Moments later Twilight Thorn then flipped the Sora platform over once again causing Roxas to fall in the black abyss for the second time. He then started falling straight towards the Nobody who can be seen holding the giant blue sphere in his hands again. Roxas threw his Keyblade at the blue sphere again. This caused the sphere to blow up knocking Roxas and Twilight Thorn to the ground on the Sora platform for the second time. Roxas then got up and yanked his Keyblade out of the platform for the second time during the fight.

Roxas and the space morons then started attacking Twilight Thorn's head again. Roxas hack and slashed at Twilight Thorn while Sarge fired his shotgun at it. Simmons switched to his rocket launcher before firing a couple rockets at Twilight Thorn's head. Grif fired his brute shot at Twilight Thorn. Donut fired his battle rifle at Twilight Thorn while throwing plasma grenades at it. Tucker slashed at Twilight Thorn's head with his energy sword while tossing frag grenades at it. Caboose fired his assault rifle at Twilight Thorn before the giant Nobody was defeated.

After defeating Twilight Thorn the giant Nobody then falls on top of Roxas and the space morons. A giant dome sphere of darkness then surrounded Roxas' group before it started to swallow them whole. Namine then appeared and grabs Roxas' hand before a white light filled the area. Seconds later Roxas' group then appears in a white room with Namine.

"My name is Namine. Roxas...do you even remember your true name?" The blonde girl asked Roxas.

"Hello Ms. Nice Lady that I met before. But his real name is Roxas." Said Caboose.

"What the fuck you mean his real name? Isn't it just Roxas?" Said Church.

"Hey baby forget his name and start remembering mine, you know you want to." Said Tucker.

"If what Caboose told me is correct, he said she can tear apart people's memories, I wonder if she'll do the same to yours about her." Said Church.

"As if Church." Said Tucker.

"At the rate you're going, I wouldn't be surprised." Said Church.

"Oh space morons...great." Namine said with disappointment.

"Oh space morons...great." Namine said with disappointment.

"Actually baby I prefer the ter-" Said Tucker before being cut off by Caboose.

"Space morons!" Said Caboose.

"Caboose you ruined it." Said Tucker with a sigh.

"Hello Caboose, Tucker, Church, Sarge, Simmons, Grif, and Donut." Namine greeted the Reds and Blues.

"Can you make some home made tacos? I'm starving." Said Grif.

"No you're too damn fat lard ass...lose weight." Namine told Grif coldly.

"Damn! That's a burn..." Tucker said.

"Score another point for Red Team!" Sarge declared.

"I'm on it sir!" Said Donut while taking out a score board and doing a check on Red Team.

"If everyone promises to leave Namine alone I promise to be buy all of you some sea-salt ice cream...the real kind not Hayner's version." Roxas told his colourful friends.

"The ice cream is fake anyways." Grif stated.

"Oh when have you ever said no to food Grif?" Simmons asked Grif.

"I promise to leave her alone." Grif countered.

Suddenly Riku appeared near Namine through a dark corridor...

"Don't say anymore Namine. I cant believe I forgot my cardboard box!" Riku told Namine before lifting her off the ground by the arm.

"But if nobody tells him, Roxas will..."

"It's better if he just doesn't know the truth. At least I still have my cigarettes."

"Hey! You're that fucking emo pickpocket!"

"I'M NOT EMO...FUCKING SPACE MORONS!" Riku said before summoning a dark portal behind Roxas.

Riku then pushes Roxas and the space morons through the dark portal. Moments later they wakeup back on the Sandlot with Seifer's gang...

"Seifer, strike uh pose, y'know?"

"How's dis here?"

"Yo dat's totally perfect, y'know!"

Roxas wakes up along with the space morons and sees Fuu taking pictures of a posing Seifer while Rai and Vivi can be seen standing around her. She is seen using Pence's camera...

"Yo how 'bout one mo', y'know?"

"What the hell is that for you wiggers?" Roxas asked Seifer's gang.

"Yo keepsake." Fuu told Roxas.

"Those freaks in da whitey jumpsuits is gone, y'know?"

"Yo cakewalk."

"What the fuck were those crackers?" Roxas asked.

"Yo outsiders, dat's what. Don't worry good looking I'll protect your sweet ass. Yo an' if dey don' wise up ta da rules around here, ah might gots ta take disciplinary measure. An don't make me pull mah gat!" Seifer said while winking at Roxas.

"Yo awww yeah, Seifer's always lookin' afta da hood and bitches, y'know?"

Roxas then notices that Pence, Olette, and Hayner have arrived. Hayner then huffs off...

"Wait up guys!" Roxas said before following his three friends along with the space morons.

"Yo werd up! Nahh lady boxing out o' da tournament tomorrow! Don't make me shank ya! If you're lucky I might let you give me a blowjob after I win." Seifer told Roxas while laughing.

"We's'll be waitin', y'know? I think he totally wants you Seifer, y'know?" Rai told Seifer.

"Yo stop sayin` y'know in every sentence homie, it's annoying dawg." Said Seifer.

Later on Sor...I mean Roxas and the space morons arrive back at the Usual Spot where Pence, Olette, and Hayner can be seen eating sea-salt ice cream.

"So you hung out with Seifer's homo gang today?" Pence asked Roxas.

"No it's defiantly not like that...I would never be caught dead hanging out with those guys! So how was the beach guys? Wasn't that today?"

"We didn't go cause it wouldn't be the same without you." Olette told Roxas.

"Sorry about that. How about tomorrow right after MLP? We could get those nachos and..."

"No can do bitches I promised I'd be somewhere tomorrow!" Hayner told Roxas.

"Oh..."

Flashback:

"Only 2 days left! You and I must make it to the finals no matter what! So that way no matter who wins the four of us can split the prize!" Hayner told Roxas.

党Alright you're on!"

党Don't forget it's a Star Wars lightsaber duel so you have to cosplay as a Star Wars character. Your Storm Trooper friends are already set Roxas so no worries about them." Pence told Roxas.

党I'm gonna go as slave Leia." Olette told everyone.

党Whoa my lightsaber in my pants just extended!" Hayner told Olette.

党Just remember to get to the finals Hayner or we wont be having sex cause I don't fuck losers!"

党Ouch! Do you really not fuck guys who lose?" Pence asked Olette.

党No I only said that to motivate him."

"Alright then it's a promise! Now let's get down to business people! One ticket to the beach is 900 munny. How much for all four of us?" Hayner asked his friends.

End of Flashback

"Later bitches I'm out of here!" Hayner said before leaving the Usual Spot.

"I still wanted to see MLP though, you guys keep preventing me from watching it."

"Roxas there are far more important things in the world than MLP...like Twinkies." Pence told Roxas.

"Twinkies? Where?" Said Grif.

"There are no Twinkies Grif." Simmons told Grif.

"Hell didn't the company that makes them went under or something?" Said Church.

"No it's still here...I had one the other day." Roxas told Church.

"Where? I want some Twinkies now!" Said Grif with a hungry look.

"For fuck's sake I just said we don't have any Grif!" Simmons told Grif.

"Grif if you do not shut the fuck up then you can talk to my shotgun!" Sarge told Grif.

"Simmons make me a strike pick it sign, I am going on strike." Said Grif.

"No I'm busy e-mailing KingdomKey23!"

"You mean your imaginary friend?" Said Grif.

"I don't have an imaginary friend...the Blues do." Simmons told Grif.

"I call him Mr. Fluffy." Said Caboose.

"He's talking about Bob you dumb ass!" Church told Caboose.

"I miss Bob wherever he is." Said Tucker.

Flashback:

"I miss Bob."

"Be quiet Caboose nobody is gonna understand that joke." Church told Caboose.

"Bob the killer gold fish?" Said Roxas referring to Earthworm Jim.

"No someone from the internet." Church corrected Roxas.

"O' Rly?" Said Chief.

"Yeah but none of you guys know him. But he's a pretty cool guy." Church told everyone except Caboose.

"Eh kills aliens and doesn't afraid of anything!" Caboose said with excitement.

"Can I meet Bob?" Chief said with excitement.

"Nah Bob is a pretty private guy." Church told Chief.

"He dunked Tucker's head in the toilet at the base, had a shooting contest with Jacobs, and hung out with us at the base!"

"Your thinking of Tex Caboose. She dunked Tucker in the toilet." Said Church.

"No Church, that was Bob. Tex wasn't there."

"Bullshit! This guy sounds imaginary." Axel deduced.

"Like figment here." Said Wash.

"We cant help it if you guys don't know Bob. Also it was pretty funny when he dunked Tucker's head in the toilet now that I remember it." Church told everyone.

"Whose Tex by the way?" Said Roxas.

"Nobody you'll ever meet and nobody important." Church told Roxas.

"He means Agent Texas." Said Wash.

End of Flashback

"Yeah and they call us crazy sir." Said Grif to Sarge. "This Bob guy sounds like a a fake to me."

"I agree...but not with Grif." Sarge told everyone.

"Fuck you guys Bob just sent me this really funny video of Batman and Robin playing video games together!" Church told the Reds.

"Fuck this game!" Said Batman over the video as he pounced on Robin, beating the crap out of him.

"That video was hilarious!" Church said.

"Note to self, never invite Batman over for video games." Said Tucker.

"Hey do you guys think that new vampire movie is gonna be any good?" Roxas asked everyone.

"Hell no! I saw the trailer and I already knew it was gonna suck the vampires don't even burn in the sunlight. I threw popcorn at the screen and boo'ed it and almost got kicked out of the theater. I hope this is the last one cause this movie looks like it really sucks." Pence told Roxas.

"Why do the vampires sparkle anyways? It looks like somebody dumped glitter all over them." Olette told Roxas.

"They're not even real vampires, they don't burn in sunlight, the concept sucks so hard, my mom could make a better movie." Said Pence.

"Yeah Pence it's called porn." Olette told pence.

"Anything makes a better love story than Gaylight, even Donut's fanfics." Said Grif.

"Oh man are we talking about Twilight? Awesome!" Donut said with excitement.

"Yeah it's a new vampire movie coming out on November 21, 2008 and I was thinking about seeing it...but I'm not sure." Roxas told everyone.

"Roxas, Roxas, Roxas, you got it all backwards, to be a real vampire fan, you must reject Twilight." Pence told Roxas.

"But it couldn't be that bad right?" Said Roxas.

"Have you been paying attention to a word I've been saying to you?" Pence asked Roxas.

"No I was thinking about Rainbow Dash being 20% percent cooler." Said Roxas with a goofy smile.

The screen once again becomes scrambled. Reader if it keeps doing that I'm gonna have to call the cable guy soon...

"Restoration at 48%."

"So what was that? Namine made of data? Or part of the VR?" Riku asked Diz.

"No. Namine must have hijacked the data herself. She's totally beyond my control now! I can't even push the action button to get rid of her!" Diz said while slamming his fist on his keyboard.

"Hey calm the fuck down...I still have my infinite ammo bandanna." Riku told Diz.

"It doesn't matter anyways. So long as Namine does what she's suppose to do we don't have to worry about Roxas' fate. Now I'm gonna continue watching Home Improvement damn it!"

Over inside Sora's pod the young teen's memories continue to flood back to him. In the first memory Sora can be seen trying to grab a four year old Kairi in the Hollow Bastion library.

"Maleficent was right. You don't have what it takes to save Kairi. It's up to me. Only the Keyblade master can open the secret door...and change the world. Now I'm totally gonna stick it between Kairi's legs!" Riku told Sora after taking the Keyblade from him.

"Not on your life you Faux News lover! But I'm not gonna betray Sora, either, 'cause he's become one of my best buddies after all we've been through together! See ya later, Donald. Could ya tell the King I'm really sorry? But I'm not sorry for fucking the Queen!" Goofy said after protecting Sora from Riku's Dark Fiagra.

"All for tacos and tacos for all!" Donald said at Hollow Bastion after regrouping with Sora, Goofy, and Dante.

"My friends are my true power...along with tacos!" Sora said before reclaiming the Keyblade.

"So your heart won this battle for you did it?" Beast asked Sora in a chipmunk voice...cause it's funny Reader.

But it continues, walking straight through him. As it does so Sora has a rapid flash of memories...Sora stumbles back and falls to the ground as the figure continues past him. He turns to look at the now apparently solid figure, a man completely shrouded by a dark grey hooded coat with a long zip, and two drawstrings hanging from the collar. The figure's black gloved hand opens and a strange, blue light filled with a lattice of hexagonal shapes begins to fizzle in it. Sora gasps as the figure begins to turn and he sees the energy. As the man turns he brings the Keyblade to his hand and with both hands he holds back the tremendous blue lightning-like energy that the strange figure aims directly at him. For a few seconds Sora strains against the energy, then he pushes it away. The reflected energy hits the ceiling, causing a shower of mortar and fine stone. The figure just stands there facing Sora.

"It is I, Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, lead me into everlasting darkness!" Ansem controlling Riku told Sora.

Riku is going to attack Sora, but then...

"Sora!" Kairi shouted in Sora's head.

Kairi's face flashes in Sora's mind and deflected the attack from Riku with his Keyblade.

"Forget it! There's no way in Hell you're taking Kairi's heart you gangbanger wannabe!"

Sora smiles at Donald, Goofy, and Dante and thrust the dark Keyblade into his Heart. Upon doing this, the hearts returned to the six female Disney Princesses and Kairi as well. Sora lights up as he falls slowly. The other Shadows get near Kairi and the Shadow she is holding on to.

"Kairi!"

Sora then sees Kairi smiling at him inside his memories.

"We never meet again dawg. But will never forget each other you wigger. Besides who could possibly forget a white cracker like you anyways?" Leon told Sora at Hollow Bastion.

"No matter where we are our hearts will always bring us together again. Unless you suck at sex..." Aerith told Sora at Hollow Bastion.

"Take this Sora. It's my lucky charm. Don't forget to bring it back to me." Kairi told Sora after giving him the Oathkeeper keychain.

"Calm yo tits woman...I will."

"You promise?"

Sora seals the keyhole over at Hollow Bastion with the help of the Blues, Donald, Dante, Beast, and Goofy...

"Don't ever forget. Wherever it is that you go, I'll always be with you...but only as a friend. I'm interested in Riku..."

Moments later Roxas' wakes up and looks out his window. Caboose and Donut can be seen sleeping with Roxas in his bed. The other space morons can be seen sleeping in Roxas' room in other places like the floor.

"Right of course...promise. What a fucking mess...why can't the world be like MLP?" Roxas said with a sad face.

**To Be Continued...**


	4. You Just Got Sarge'd!

**Red vs Blue: The Kingdom Hearts 2 Saga**

**Episode 4: You Just Got Sarge'd!**

**YJGS!**

**Twilight Town Day 4**

Later, Roxas runs out of the Usual Spot on his way to the annual Star Wars convention, he could be seen wearing a Luke Skywalker costume. Hayner dresses up as Han Solo, Pence could be seen wearing an Emperor Palpatine outfit, Olette looks like slave Leia. The space morons also followed behind them looking like Storm Troopers due to their armour. Simmons could be seen carrying a fake blaster.

"Man Simmons did you really have to ditch your gun for a fake one?" Said Grif.

"Simmons whose gonna shoot Grif now when I need someone to shoot him?" Sarge asked his second in command.

"What about me sir?" Said Donut.

"Donut we told you not to dress up as Officer Hot Pants!" Sarge told Donut.

"Oh but Sarge, I think I look dazzling in my cop uniform, plus I got the idea from Grif when he suggested I find something comfy to wear." Said Donut.

"Yeah that means wear underwear under your armour Donut!" Grif told Donut.

"Grif you silly goose you weren't specific." Said Donut.

"This place sucks! I'm gonna watch the Xbox One reveal." Church said from Tucker's armour.

"I thought it was 2008?" Donut questioned.

"No Donut that's only inside this virtual town...whoever made this place must have chosen that year. For some odd reason..." Simmons told Donut.

"Where are all the election posters if its 2008 anyway?" Said Tucker.

"What are you talking about there everywhere!" Sarge told Tucker while pointing at a nearby poster with President Brock Obama on it.

"Why does that old guy on the other poster look like Elmer Fudd, Church?" Said Caboose.

"Be quiet Caboose I'm watching the Xbox One reveal!"

"Wait the reveal is today?" Tucker asked Church.

"Yes and I'm watching it! Could all of you stop interrupting me?"

"Did they say anything about the always online thing yet?" Said Grif.

"Yes they said it won't have to be always online...but it will have to be online every 24 hours."

"What the hell? That doesn't make any sense, who is running that conference?!" Tucker complained.

"People in suits who love TV, sports, dogs, cars, and water coolers."

"Any video games?" Said Simmons.

"That depends do you consider EA sports games, CoD, and Forza games?"

"I don't understand why do people play the same old sports games it just has updated teams." Said Grif.

"Probably for the same reasons Sora loves to play every new CoD game's multiplayer on the Playstation. Like he did during our first and second adventures with him." Tucker told everyone referring to their time spent with Sora during KH1 and CoM.

Flashback to KH 1 where everything is shiny as said by Caboose. Sora could be seen in the gummi ship playing Call of Duty 3 on his Playstation 3. He could be seen playing multiplayer...because he doesn't realise there's a singleplayer mode.

"Man I'm glad I got the new Call of Duty game, it looks so fucking sweet, the graphics are far out, and the multiplayer is top notch. This so beats Halo out of the water. Call of Duty is the best, and that's a damn fact and not an opinion." Said Sora as he fired at several German soldiers.

"Good God don't tell me that key sucking homo is kicking our asses in a video game?" Said Church in disbelief.

"I don't even want to think this is real Church." Said Tucker disgustedly as he played CoD 3 and was losing against Sora and his team.

"Which button makes the gun fire again? I'm not used to this controller!" Caboose asked his allies.

End of flashback

"Ugh I can't believe I promised Roxas I would watch his space moron friends!" Pence complained to Olette.

"You agreed to it only if Roxas promised to stop bugging you about watching My Little Pony." Olette informed him.

"No way! He promised me food..."

"He promised me Burger King the other day to." Said Hayner.

"Did somebody say Burger King?!" Grif said with excitement.

"No Grif but they said Red King! And you know how much I love to order a glass of your blood at Red King dirt bag!" Said Sarge.

"Man I was hoping for some fries and a whopper!"

"The only food you'll be eating Grif are your organs when I rip you to shreds with my happy shotgun dirt bag." Said Sarge.

"Ugh! Is the tournament over yet?" Pence complained.

"Pence the tournament hasn't started yet." Olette informed him.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Lightsaber Duel of Twilight Town! It's time for Summer's most sizzling clash! That's right! Today is the day for the Lighsaber Duel and title match! Who will be the one to break through the ranks and take on our champion, Setzer?!" The producer dressed as a Storm Trooper asked.

"Seifer, ya know?!" Rai said while dressed like an Imperial soldier.

"And who will leave today as our new Lightsaber Duel Champion?!"

"Hayner! Roxas!" Olette and Pence said at the same time.

"Setzer!" The fans in the audience yelled while dressed as different Star Wars characters.

"Yes, the crowd is fired up, so you know what comes next...let's DUEL!"

"Hey now. It's time to introduce today's combatants! The four bad boys who duelled their way through the preliminaries! Regular finalists and head of the Twilight Disciplinary Committee...Seifer! Completely out of nowhere who knew he'd make it so far this year? Vivi! An underground favourite and local attitude problem...Hayner! It's his first trip to the finals! And Dueller number 4, who happens to be my absolute favourite customer...Roxas! So who will win this sweltering Summer Duel?! Who will take home the grand prize? The summa cum laude of Lightsaber Duel...the Four Crystal Trophy! AND...a chance to take on our defending champion, Setzer! It won't be long now, folks. I suggest our challengers go over the official Lightsaber Duel Rules before we begin!" The announcer told everyone while dressed as Chewbacca.

"Hey...sorry about yesterday." Roxas told Hayner.

"What the hell, you still worried about that shit? You need to learn to let that shit go."

"I've got a lot on my mind...like the new MLP movie."

"Sorry, yo. Wait, what the hell am I sorry for?"

"Our first match of today's Lightsaber Duel tournament will be between Roxas and his best friend Hayner!" The Announcer told everyone.

"Ready, Roxas?" Hayner asked Roxas while holding his plastic blue lighsaber from Wal-Mart.

Elsewhere in a remote location, far away from the tournament with nobody around. Sam, Snake, Deadpool, and Max can be seen. Suddenly everything cuts to a codec screen.

"Why are we talking to each other on a codec when we're right next to each other?" Said Snake curiously talking to Sam.

"Deadpool wanted to try it out and I don't want him going trigger happy near me is why..." Said Sam.

"Did anybody see the Xbone reveal?" Max asked everyone on the codec.

"Are you talking about the horror show by Microfail where it was all about TV and no video games? Who hasn't?" Said Sam.

"Do you guys think it will make me a taco?" Deadpool asked everyone.

"It has been confirmed by the Master Chief it won't make any kind of taco even hooked up to the internet." Said Sam.

"What happened to your voice? Why don't you sound like Michael Ironside?" Snake asked Sam.

"Ubisoft changed my voice actor for my new game, I was really pissed when they did, now my fans are boycotting Blacklist." Sam informed Snake with his new voice. Which sounds nothing like Michael Ironside at all.

"Is that why Meryl dumped you and went back to Snake?" Max asked Sam...who still had his original VA.

"That's pretty much the reason why, people love me for my voice not for what I do to be honest." He said with a sad sigh.

"This reminds me the time when someone wanted to change my favourite gun!" Max told everyone.

"I'm glad my voice actor wasn't replaced." Snake said with a sigh of relief.

"My voice actor was bitches!" Big Boss said over the codec after interrupting Snake.

"Jack Bauer?" Max asked everyone.

"No you fools it's Richard Doyle...Jack Bauer was the voice I had during my 50's!"

"That's a lot of voice actors for one guy." Sam stated.

"I have a lot of voices also!" Deadpool stated.

"This is why I prefer having one voice actor." Said Max.

"Deadpool those are the voices in your head!" Sam told Deadpool.

"And they're telling me to dance on top of the white house with My Little Pony underwear on, but I want tacos first." Said Deadpool.

"Nobody is doing anything to my house as long as I'm president of the United States of America!" Max told everyone.

"But you're suppose to be finding the worlds tacos, not worry about the white house." Said Sam.

"I heard it was gonna be attacked by aliens!" Deadpool stated.

"Just like the horrible movie Independence Day." Said Snake.

"Independence Day had super powers? I didn't know that!" Deadpool said shocked.

"Bullshit it's nothing like Independence Day. Now I'm gonna give all my homies super powers, except for Pierce." Said Max.

"Can't we just beat up politicians instead?" Snake asked.

"The ones who talk smack about games?" Said Sam.

"No the ones that visit the white house." Snake said.

"Like who?" Sam asked.

"Random senators." Max said.

"I heard the aliens look like Kain from well Legacy of Kain." Said Snake.

"I heard the Xbone 180 has all it's DRM and used games policies taken away from it...but still won't make tacos!" Deadpool told everyone.

"The fact that it doesn't make Tacos makes it a good enough reason to not buy it. I only buy products that are tacos approved!" Said Max who is pro taco as president of Muricah.

"This is bullshit you can't ground Spider-Man!" A figure wearing a red and blue costume with black lines all over it said over the codec.

"What the fuck Spider-Man? How did you find our codec frequency?" Said Snake flabbergasted.

"LOL quit crying and look at my spider balls!"

"Can I kick them instead?" Deadpool asked him.

"Fuck you I'm Spider-Man!"

"Yes I know who you are, I parodied one of your comic covers a couple of times." Said Deadpool with a chuckle.

"You're getting shit for Christmas!"

"And I'll give it to little Timmy instead, he loves shit!" Deadpool laughed.

"Excuse me gentlemen!" Spider-Man said before walking away from his current location.

"OH GOD MY EYES...WHY?! I CAN'T FUCKING SEE! AAAHHH IT BURNS! MY DEAD-BALLS!" Deadpool yelled after Spider-Man blinded him with webbing before punching him in the balls hard.

"So now let that be a listen to everyone...DON'T FUCK WITH SPIDER-MAN!" Spider-Man said after he went back to his original location.

"Why does he sound like Josh Keaton?" Snake asked everyone.

"I don't know but never fuck with Spider-Man." Said Sam a bit nervously.

"Spider-Man I'd like hire you as part of my cabinet over in Washington D.C." Max told Spider-Man.

"Maybe later but for now I have to go troll some space morons and fuck bitches!"

"But you get to help protect the tacos from the haters." Said Max.

"WHAT?! The tacos are missing?!" Spider-Man said with a gasp.

"Yes unfortunately by the dreaded Taco Bandit, we have made it our mission to retrieve all the world's tacos from that scum bag, and torture him on Guantanamo Bay Cuba." Said Max with a serious determined look on his face.

"I bet it was the fat orange one...hehehe I love trolling him the most. One time I encased him in webbing and hung him upside down. Then I whacked him over and over again like a piñata. Good times..." Spider-Man said while thinking about his memories of BBS which Max, Deadpool, Sam, and Snake were present for.

"You mean Grif? I doubt it he's too lazy, and those were the days." Said Snake.

"Hold on we just met him now, and suddenly we remember him as if he's been with us the whole time?" Sam questioned them.

"Sam doesn't remember the time machine we used to go back 10 years ago when the space morons were with the black coat wearing guys." Deadpool said while using a bag of ice for his balls.

"Yes it's Grif everyone knows that! And yes during the last adventure we used a time machine to go back 10 years earlier. During our travels we came across Spider-Man." Max said while talking about the events during Days and BBS.

"What did I say about spoilers gentlemen? Now people know what we did in BBS." Said Snake.

"Nobody cares David that joke was lame!" Sam told Snake.

"I told you not to use my real name, I like Snake better." Said Snake, "And besides only Meryl can call me David."

"So I heard you guys deleted Days. Also why do you people take so long to finish each chapter? I heard one time you guys took 2 fucking years to update a chapter. WHAT THE FUCK?! OH MY GOD FLYING MUSTACHES...AAAHHH!" Spider-Man said before being attacked by...flying mustaches? The fuck is that about reader?!

"I thought we got rid of that joke?" Sam asked Max and the others.

"Well it was brought back for old times sakes but just this once." Said Max.

"Damn those flying mustaches don't fuck around...I had to use every single band aide I own for my wounds!"

"Too bad you didn't have a razor with you." Deadpool teased.

"Come at me bro!"

"Hmm...I wonder what Shaundi, Pierce, King, Oleg, and Kinzie are doing? Wait I don't care about Pierce...disregard that!" Max said to himself.

"No one cares about Pierce any ways." Said Deadpool before throwing a Deadpool video game box at Spider-Man.

"You're game sucks Wade!" Spider-Man said before catching said game with his webbing before sling shotting it back at Deadpool's head. Somehow through the codec...no I don't know how reader.

Deadpool somehow dodged it...

"Coming from the guy with a lot of bad games. Oh that's a burn hahahahahah." Deadpool cackled.

"Web of Shadows was golden...bitch!"

"That was your only good game, I will have a ton of best selling games that'll even make Master Chief jealous." Said Deadpool with confidence.

"100 munny says Deadpool's first game will be mediocre at best and not spawn any more after that." Snake said.

"Hell I bet it'll be the death of High Moon Studios as well." Said Sam.

"Ouch...that hurts!" Deadpool said.

"And it might even bring down Activision." Said Sam.

"I dream of a world without CoD!" Spider-Man said with a smile.

"Don't forget they're the ones who publish your games." Said Max, reminding Spider-Man.

"That's OK other more talented people can do that." Spider-Man said.

"Who cares nobody plays superhero games any ways aside from Batman, he's an exception." Said Snake.

"Bruce Wayne isn't a real super hero any ways!" Spider-Man told Snake.

"Can you believe the guy who voiced Chris Redfeild is doing him in Arkham Origins?" Sam stated.

"The worst Batman ever!" Max stated.

"Guys why are we even talking about games that have nothing to do with us? We got better things to do." Said Snake.

"Her I.D. didn't say 18 but her tits did. What were we talking about again?" Spider-Man said randomly.

"We were discussing how the Xbone 180 is the worst piece of crap to come out of Microsoft." Said Max.

"I thought that was Vista?" Sam asked Max.

"And Windows 8." Said Snake.

"And Kinect! It won't let me masturbate while playing a game with it!" Spider-Man said.

"I heard the government is using the Kinect to spy on you." Said Sam.

"I heard The Avengers sucks cause I'm not in it...or it's sequel!"

"Um No it had the Hulk that's means it's the best damn super hero movie ever made and made by the guy who made Buffy too." Snake informed everyone.

"I don't like that guy!" Spider-Man stated.

"I would make him an honorary homie, he can replace Pierce." Said Max.

"I'll replace Pierce instead!" Spider-Man told Max.

"It depends, can you make a taco with sour cream, bacon, and melted cheese without complaining?" Max asked with an arch eyebrow.

"Yes and I'll add a secret ingredient...Deadpool's blood!" Spider-Man said before making a sword out of webbing before stabbing Deadpool with it.

"OW!"

"I'd hate to know how a taco would taste with Deadpool's own blood, it'll probably make it taste like shit." Said Snake.

"Need...orange...juice...and...tacos!" Deadpool said while bleeding.

"Does anyone have a cup of orange juice for Deadpool and a Taco?" Sam asked everyone.

"The tacos were stolen so no tacos for Deadpool." Max told Sam.

"Whoever took the tacos will be tortured, murdered and tortured all at the same time." Said a blood thirsty Spider-Man.

"So they have to watch The Golden Girls?" Snake asked Spider-Man.

"No they're gonna watch Batman and Robin all day long." Said Spidey with an evil chuckle.

"That's nothing compared to The Garbage Pail Kids." Max told Spider-Man.

"There should be like a contest to see which of those movies is the most awful." Sam suggested.

"Any sucky movie is ordered to be burned at the stake." Max told Sam.

"Like witches!" Deadpool said with excitement.

"I made Garbage Pail Kids the movie illegal in America." Max told everyone.

"Isn't that against freedom of speech?" Said Snake with an arch eyebrow.

"I'm the damn president and what I say goes. Plus everyone agrees that it sucks." Said Max.

"Texas doesn't believe in freedom of speech anyways." Snake said.

"Yeah we allowed them to leave because they suck." Said Max.

Back to the space morons...

"Man this is boring! How much longer does this tournament have?" Tucker asked with an irritated sigh.

"If you're bored so much go find something to do." Church suggested, "Like buying something off of Church-Bay."

"No way that place is a rip off...I also suspect that it's a scam as well."

"Hey guys I got some brand new stuff from Church-Bay for a good price, it's a good thing they had a sell." Said Donut.

"I also bought that comfy helmet pillow for 3 munny on Church-Bay, now I can sleep with a pillow inside my helmet." Said Grif.

"Well I see you found a new way to be even more lazy." Simmons shot back at him.

"You were saying Tucker?" Church teased.

"I'm still not giving you my munny."

"You're loss but hey we'll probably be handing out Xbone 180's for free so stay tuned." Church mocked him.

"Who the hell would want an Xbone 180?"

"Exactly so we're either gonna have to dump them in a landfill like ET the game or protect the environment and give them away to low info consumers and casual gamers." Said Church.

"Or just burn them."

"And what have Smoky the Bear beat the crap out of you? No thanks." Said Church.

"And the winner is Roxas. Not even friendship will slow this kid down. And Hayner put up a great fight, too." The announcer said after Roxas defeated Hayner with his plastic Wal-Mart lightsaber.

"Fuck...I lost! Now Olette won't fuck me tonight! I suppose I taught you well Padawan."

"I had a lot of fun kicking your ass."

"Yeah well I didn't...now I'm not getting any pussy. Thanks a lot Roxas!"

"Don't worry will find bitches to fuck later."

"Now you're talking my language! Which apparently is English in a Japanese made game...how odd."

"Yo yo yo...out of my way bitches!" Seifer said while dressed as Darth Vader.

"You in a rush Mr. Gangbanger Homosexual?" Hayner asked Seifer.

"Don't mess with the darkside bitch!" Seifer told Vivi who is dressed as Yoda.

"Whew, just look at those sparks fly! I guess Seifer didn't expect to fight one of his own boys!"

Seifer and Vivi face each other down. Then Vivi flies at Seifer, who jumps away with Vivi in pursuit. After a few attempts at hitting one another with their plastic Wal-Mart lightsabers, Seifer blocks Vivi's slashes and knocks Vivi away, dropping one of Vivi's orbs.

"You're mine bitch!"

Seifer lunges for the orb when Vivi returns and knocks Seifer down.

"I-I'm not sure what just happened...Um...but...the winner is Vivi! In a positively blistering comeback!"

"That's not Vivi. Put him on ice." Seifer told Roxas before leaving the Sandlot with Fuu and Rai.

"It looks like Seifer's withdrawn from the Lightsaber Duel for third place." The producer told everyone.

"So I'm in third now? Fuck yeah!" Hayner said with excitement.

"Keep it clean, fellas." The producer told Roxas and Vivi.

"And now, the match you've been waiting for: Roxas vs Vivi!" The Announcer told everyone.

Roxas battles Vivi. As he goes in for one last strike, something stops him and Roxas notices that everything has frozen in time. Vivi suddenly turns into a Dusk, then more appear.

"What the fuck? Again?!" Roxas says after his plastic lightsaber transforms into a Keyblade.

Roxas fights the Dusk and wins without the space morons help cause they were being lazy, which wares Roxas out. He is then alerted by a figure wearing a black hooded cloat clapping behind him.

"Roxas. All right. Fight fight fight. You really don't remember? It's me. You know, Axel. Come on you were gonna be my vice president had I not lost to Max Payne in this past election. And for the record Flip Flopper I to love binders full of women!" Axel said after taking his hood off.

"Axel?" Roxas said confused.

"Talk about blank with a capital B. Man oh man, even the Dusk aren't gonna crack this one. I miss the Days when I would hide from Saix with my lampshade. Those were the Days..." Axel said before his chakram appear in flames and he catches them in his hands.

"Wait a tick, tell me what the hell is going on! Is the MLP movie out yet?"

"This town is his creation, right? Which means we don't have time for a Q & A. You're coming with me, conscious or not. Then you'll hear the story. And you still watch that show? I thought you would have stopped watching it after all those visits to the therapist I took you to." Axel said referring to the visits to Mansex dressed as Pedo Bear during 358/2 Days.

"What the fuck is going ON?!"

"Number 13. Roxas. The Keyblade's chosen one. And sadly lover of ponies as well...sigh you're never gonna get laid." Axel told Roxas.

"Okay, fine! It's you're funeral Woody Woodpecker! And nobody talks smack about MLP and lives to tell about it!"

"Spoken like a true Brony. That's more like it!"

"We Bronies will protect MLP from all forms of insults, even if we have to beat the haters up." Said Roxas.

"Knuckles!" Caboose shouted while pointing at Axel from the crowd who are still frozen.

"Space morons...again...fuck!"

"Grif what are you doing?" Simmons asked Grif.

"I'm taking these peoples food before they notice." Grif said while stealing the crowd's food from them.

"They're frozen Grif of course they won't notice." Said Simmons.

"Well yeah this is the best luck I've had yet." Said Grif while stealing a bag of gummi worms from someone.

"Grif stop thinking about food and help us murder this MIB member, before I murder you and blame it on Simmons." Said Sarge.

"Oh don't worry sir, I'll gladly take the blame." Said Simmons which was a bit sarcastic as well.

"I know you would Simmons! Good man you are." Said Sarge.

"Thank you sir." Said Simmons.

"Um can you guys help me?" Roxas asked the Reds and Blues.

"We haven't had time to train ourselves for the new battle against the MIB yet...not since we were at that crazy castle of course." Sarge told Roxas.

"Castle? You mean like in Skyrim? Oh man I love that game...I have it on my PS3!" Roxas said with excitement.

"Just to let everyone know were having a sale on all our products for 5% off. If you act now you can buy a copy of The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim Legendary Edition. Plus will throw in a free Xbone 180 when it comes out as well." Church told everyone from Tucker's armour.

"Can you please stop advertising from my armour? I'm not even being paid for this." Said Tucker.

"It was in the contract we agreed upon." Said Church.

"Contract? What contract?" Said Tucker not remembering anything about such a thing.

"Oh that, well you were knocked out so I ordered Caboose to grab your hand and sign it. It's legally binding."

"Excuse me?" Said Tucker

"You see, with the contract, I'm allowed to advertise my website in your armour free of charge." Church explained.

"Gee Sarge I guess it's too late to train against the MIB now?" Donut asked Sarge.

"Nonsense Donut it's never too late!"

"It isn't? What was I even thinking." Said Donut while facepalming himself, "Brain you have failed me!"

"Look Donut I'll show you, Simmons, Grif I want you two to run so fast that'll even make Sonic the Hedgehog jealous, around this whole area 2000 times pronto, while Private Donut here will show you some motivation." Sarge instructed.

"I'm so gonna hate this." Said Grif while stuffing his face with food he stole.

"What worries me is the motivation." Said Simmons.

"But Sargent I need your help!" Roxas told Sarge.

"Not now Mr. Super Saiyan were training for the upcoming battle against the MIB."

"Do you space morons ever do anything besides just stand there and talk?" Axel asked the Reds and Blues while smoking a cigar.

"Hey Mr. Knuckles it's so good to see you again, remember me? I'm Caboose." Said Caboose to Axel.

"Well yeah it's what we do best." Said Tucker.

"I prefer not to remember you space morons. I tried to erase any memories I had of you guys. But somehow you always pop up when I thought about Roxas. Which pisses me off..."

"You can't forget us...were internet celebrities! We have our own web series and merchandise."

"But we haven't traded our dicks for pussies thankfully." Tucker told everyone.

"Speaking of the internet I tried to destroy Deviantart once...sadly the yaoi fangirls kicked my ass. It was horrible..." Axel told everyone.

"How? It's not even a place." Church told Axel.

"It's the internet's version of Hell! I travelled there once to defeat the yaoi fangirls since that's where they come from. I...was not successful. I don't want to talk about it..." Axel said while shuddering at the thought.

"I heard someone called the Taco Hater lurks there." Said Grif with pure disgust.

"I can't wait till the tacos are rescued from the Taco Bandit...all the Taco Bells are shut down thanks to that guy!" Axel said in a disgruntled voice.

"Gee I wonder what happened to them?" Said Grif while stuffing taco in his helmet while no one was looking.

"Yeah gee I wonder Grif?!" Simmons said with sarcasm.

"Max! The Taco Bandit is stuffing tacos in his armour!" Deadpool told Max over the codec.

"Everyone to the Taco Bandit! He must not escape!" Max said over the codec.

"What about the Taco Man? He needs to be here first." Said Snake.

"Last time we saw him was in that haunted house with the evil garden gnomes." Deadpool reminded everyone.

"Someone get Taco Man over here pronto!" Max demanded.

"Does anyone have Taco Man's codec frequency?" Sam asked his allies.

"Um I think I left it in my pajamas!" Said Deadpool.

"Damn it Deadpool what did I tell you about leaving important information in your Disney Marvel Star Wars pajamas?" Max told Deadpool.

"I was thinking of boobies at the time...and tacos." Said Deadpool.

"Only I can think about Shaundi's boobies...while she serves me tacos."

"Sorry but those boobies are calling for me rawr!" Said Deadpool with a grin.

"Don't worry bitches I got this! Also...boobies? Where? Can I touch them? Please!" Said Spider-Man over the codec.

Moments later a giant spotlight can be seen shining in the sky in digital Twilight Town. Problem is that it's not night time...it's twilight like usual. But had it been night time there would have been an image of a taco in the sky. Just like the Batman symbol...

"You've got to be kidding me! No one can see the Taco signal when there's still some light in the day." Max said while facepalming himself.

"Shit...Smoky The Bear is gonna strangle me!" Spider-Man said.

"Isn't that him amongst the crowds?" Said Snake.

"No Snake that's someone dressed up as Pedo Bear." Said Sam.

"What's he doing at a Star Wars convention?" Deadpool questioned.

"I thought this was a nerd convention." Spider-Man said.

"I think he got lost." Said Sam.

"Let's go beat up all the nerds!" Spider-Man suggested.

"No we don't have time for that!" Max told everyone.

"He's right! Let's go to Hooters and grab some boobies." Sad Deadpool.

"We can't it was set on fire plus they banned us from there after last time." Max told Deadpool.

"You're the president, can you just make them unban us?" Said Snake.

"Once it's fixed I will...I need some buffalo wings."

"Hey is that a faint taco image in the sky?" Said Donut pointing at the fake sky.

"Obviously a glitch." Simmons told Donut.

"Aww man I can't reach all the way up there...fuck." Said Grif with a disappointed sigh.

"Grif were you trying to eat the fake taco in the sky? That's so dumb I don't even think Caboose would do that." Tucker said.

"Hey everything here is fake any ways. Plus my stomach thinks for itself." Said Grif.

"Grif I order you to stop thinking about food and to focus on your new MIB Training 2.0!"

"Sorry sir but my stomach controls my brain." Said Grif.

"Why you no good...Donut I order you to commence Protocol Alpha Bravo Charlie Delta ASAP!" Sarge said while foaming at the mouth angrily.

"Yes sir!" Said Donut while shooting Grif.

"OW!"

"Yes one down only 6 more to go!" Axel said with excitement.

"NNNOOO...WHY?! OH GOD WHY?! HE WAS SO YOUNG...AND FAT! OH WHY MUST WE LIVE IN A CRUEL WORLD?! WHY CAN'T IT BE LIKE MLP INSTEAD?!" Roxas yelled to the sky very dramatically.

"Sorry to burst your and Sarge's bubbles but he's still alive...somehow." Said Church.

"Well at least somebody cares." Grif said.

"Roy cares about everyone." Tucker said referring to Roxas.

"Yeah it comes with being a Brony." Said Donut.

"Donut cares about everyone because he's a Brony like Roxas." Said Simmons.

"Donut cares way too much!" Grif protested.

"Grif are you ok? I didn't kill you did I?" Said Donut showing how much he cares.

"Stop touching me Donut!"

"How much time have we wasted by just standing here and talking? By my watch it's been about 30 minutes." Axel said.

"Yeah by then we, I mean him would've kicked your ass, and ended this chapter." Tucker stated.

"No it doesn't end after that Tucker!" Church corrected him.

"Are you kidding me? It feels like forever." Tucker groaned.

"Did you even read the script?"

"No. Did you?"

"Yes the president gave me a copy...we have a good business relationship." Church told Tucker.

"Wait can I read it? I want to see if I'll bang any hot girls in this story." Said Tucker.

"Don't let him read it...that would be a breach in national security!" Max told Church over his codec...cause yeah it totally works that way reader... Nanomachines son!

"Yeah don't worry like I'll ever give Tucker the script." Said Church to Max.

"Hey Max who are you talking to?" Sam asked Max.

"Um...Pierce I told him not to touch Shaundi's rack cause only I can do that. It's now the property of the federal government." Max said before ending the codec transmission.

"No fair I wanted to touch them!" Said Deadpool pouting.

"Get off the codec Deadpool...I'm done talking to our spy." Max told Deadpool.

"We have a spy? Where? Is she hot and sexy?" Said Deadpool.

"...Yeah I'm gonna go now." Church said before ending the conversation with Deadpool and Max.

"Who were you talking to Church?" Said Tucker.

"Um...Doc he said to remember to tell Caboose to take his vitamins or something like that."

"Wait a minute since when do you have Doc's frequency number? You don't like contacting him." Sad Tucker asking 20 questions.

"Ugh I hate the vitamins they're not even the good kind like the Flinstones ones!" Caboose said with disgust and anger.

"You know if it weren't for the fact I was here for Roxas, I would've just creamed you space morons right this minute for revenge." Said Axel.

"We didn't do anything!" Tucker retorted.

"Which was what were good at." Grif stated.

"Well I meant mainly the Blues, but you Red guys can share the blame as well." Said Axel with a smirk.

"Um can we fight now? I have to finish this tournament so I can watch MLP later with my new friends." Roxas said while pointing at the merry band of idiots also known as the space morons by pretty much everyone. Even people who don't know them.

"Just for that Roxas, I'm gonna kick your ass. Nothing personal, I just hate your hobby and those Space Morons." Said Axel, as he got ready for battle.

"Do we have to fight Mr. Knuckles? Why don't we all go for ice cream like most of the time." Said Caboose who sparked some flashbacks into Axel's mind.

Axel stops for a second, and remembers himself, Roxas, and even the Blues hanging out at the giant clock tower eating sea salt ice cream. He growled in fury.

"You...stupid blue freak of nature! Don't you dare ever do that again!"

"What did Caboose do? All he said was something I wasn't apart of." Said Tucker.

"Shut up and lets fight." Said Axel swaying his arms to the ground while holding onto is chakrams.

Roxas went into an offensive stance as the Reds and Blues equipped their weapons for combat. Roxas ran at Axel, slashing him with his Keyblade. Axel then strikes at Roxas with his chakrams violently at swift speed. Caboose, who is ironically, the first one of the space morons to attack Axel by firing his assault rifle at him. Axel ignored the pain as he threw his chakrams at Caboose striking the Blue soldier, Caboose flinched.

Roxas, not liking his own friends being attacked swings his Keyblade at high speed, hitting Axel a few times. Axel hovers into the air and sends his chakrams at Roxas who dodges them. Tucker goes to Caboose's aid and fires away his battle rifle at Axel's back. Axel dodges it barely, but is then met by Sarge's shotgun. Axel grabs the Red Sargent's foot and tosses him to Tucker, whacking them both together.

Grif did a sneak attack on Axel, promptly kicking him in the back and laying a few punches. Then Simmons got into the game, and whacked his battle rifle at Axel's forehead. Axel had enough of them and basically elbowed Simmons's visor, then kicking Grif's stomach. Roxas went to their aid and slashes at Axel 4 times to which Axel repaid the favour by sending fire balls at Roxas who got his hair burned. He then stopped, dropped, and rolled to put out the fire. Donut fired at Axel with his pistol and runs up to him full speed and throws a plasma grenade at his face.

"Is that a spi..." Said Axel before the grenade blew up on his face, sending him several feet into the air.

Roxas got back on his feet and summoned the Keyblade. He then runs up to Axel and slashes at him again. Axel blocked his attacks, but was met with more bullets from Sarge. The Red's commanding officer was relentless, shooting, round after round at Axel's face, which by this time was full of blood, bruises, scratch marks, and a blister. Axel got a hold of his face right when Tucker kicked his face. Roxas then pummelled Axel viciously. He then landed a lot of vicious blows with his Keyblade.

"This is for Rainbow Dash and my new friends." He shouted in anger as he punched Axel in the balls. The battle was over...for now reader.

"Not bad, Roxas." Axel said in a high pitched voice while putting a bag of ice over his balls.

Diz then appears near Roxas and Axel...

"So it was you!" Axel says before throwing his flaming chakrams at Diz which just went through him.

"Roxas, this man speaks nonsense! Now push the action button to ignore him."

"Roxas, don't let him deceive you! Remember the ice cream we used to have!"

"Roxas!"

"Roxas!"

"Rainbow Dash...Twilight Sparkle...Pinkie Pie...Applejack...Fluttershy...Rarity! Rainbow Dash! Twilight Sparkle! Pinkie Pie! Applejack! Fluttershy! Rarity!" Roxas yelled at the fake sky.

Moments later everything unfreezes and the crowd can be seen cheering for Roxas' victory against Vivi. The Reds and Blues can be seen back in the audience...minus Grif. He's gone reader...

"What? What just happened?" The Announcer asked confused.

"Huh? How the fuck did I get here? You white crackers be crazy...shit I'm gonna go do some weed now. Later bitches!" Vivi said before leaving the Sandlot.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Roxas our new top Lightsaber Duellist!" The Announcer told everyone.

"You two, play fair now. You're at the top of the bracket." The producer told Roxas and Setzer.

"There's only room for one up here. And it's definitely not YOU meatsack!" The man known as Setzer told Roxas who has spiky silver hair, lavender shirt, purple eyes, black pants, black jacket worn as a cape, and lavender boots. The virtual version of Setzer starts to flicker and for a few seconds the image of a certain purple robot can be seen.

"Well may the best man win!" The Producer said before walking off.

"Hey, Roy. How about you throw the match for me? Let me win, and I'll make it worth your while...by killing you fast and painless." Setzer said while laughing manically while flickering still.

"Get real...wait kill me? This is a tournament not a battlefield! What the fuck?" Roxas said confused.

"Roxas, our underdog hero, versus Setzer, our defending champion! The winner of this match will be the true champion! That's bragging rights for a whole year, folks!"

"Whatever you think is right, you're wrong meatsack. And that is a big mistake. My life's a computer chip in your pile. Time to ante up!" The virtual Setzer said before slowly transforming into a purple robot named Vile...in virus form. Courtesy of Dr. Evil since the real Vile is still being worked on.

"Hey sir doesn't he look familiar?" Donut pointed Vile out to Sarge.

"Shit it's Vile...and Riku is nowhere to be seen!" Simmons said.

"Has anyone seen Grif?" Donut said while wondering what happened to Grif.

"Yeah he's in jail...for stealing food." Simmons told Donut.

"But he's not the Taco Bandit." Said Donut.

"Yes he is and that's not the point. He stole everyone's food while they were frozen and now he's in jail for it."

"Which is good let him rot in jail for all I care, no one here is permitted to bail the dirt bag out." Said Sarge.

"Good news and bad news. The good news is that I was let out with a warning. The bad news is they took my food I stole. Hey wait is that Vile?" Grif said after rejoining his team.

"Men, I don't know what's worse, seeing Vile again or Grif talking behind my back after he was suppose to be in jail for life! Damn it dirt bag, you ruined my dream of a world with Grif locked up for life without trial by jury." Said Sarge.

"I'm sure it's because the police are fake sir." Simmons told Sarge.

"Wait wouldn't that mean Vile would be fake?" Donut asked Simmons.

"I'm pretty sure he's a virus." Simmons told Donut.

"A virus? Oh man and I didn't even bring my nurse Donut outfit with me." Said Donut nervously.

"What are you talking about Donut? You always change into your different outfits magically all the time anyways." Grif told Donut.

"Oh wait you're right Grif, I almost forgot, let me try it out again." Said Donut before changing into nurse Donut.

"...Thanks a lot Grif you idiot." Said Simmons.

"What? It ain't my fault Donut is a cross dresser sheesh." Grif replied.

"Don't worry guys! I am now Nurse Donut, we can now cure this virus! Aah This is much better." Said Donut.

"Um Donut he's a computer virus, not a real virus." Said Grif.

"Still Grif, you can't never be too careful." Said Donut, "Now where did I put my first aid kit?" Donut said before he began to look for it.

"Are you space morons gonna babble all day or are you actually gonna shoot straight for once? Which I hardly believe that will happen." Vile joked.

"Man do we really have to fight him? He's Riku main enemy in this story." Tucker said while breaking the 4th wall.

"I don't fight, I colour ponies." Said Caboose randomly.

"Yes Tucker otherwise we'll be deleted and can't go back home." Church advised him.

"Is that even physically possible?" Tucker said nervously.

"Yeah I don't even want to find out." Church replied.

"It's possible I think." Simmons stated.

"Enough of your talk! I'm gonna send all of you freaks to Hell." Said Vile as he got into an offensive stance.

"Get ready guys, let's finish this so I can see the new My Little Pony movie tonight." Said Roxas as he got ready to fight.

"Oh man, I totally want to see that movie." Said Nurse Donut with glee.

"Focus cupcake." Said Sarge as he cocked his shotgun.

"Yes sir." Said Donut as he got out his battle rifle.

Everyone got into there positions as Vile fired a barrage of torpedoes at Roxas, and the Space Morons. Vile dived in to go after the Reds first, paying no attention to Roxas, as he thought the Reds were more important since they were the ones who hanged out with his nemesis Riku. Vile grabbed Grif and pummelled him like a punching bag. Sarge fired his shotgun at the purple robot, but also intentionally fired at Grif.

"Sarge! Hit Vile! Not me!" Grif yelled out.

"Oops my bird dirtbag, you were in the way." Said Sarge with a chuckle.

"Yeah right." Said Grif sarcastically.

Vile then threw Grif at Roxas, who was running at Vile. Roxas managed to dodge Grif who hit the floor with his helmet.

"Ouch medic!" Said Grif in pain.

"Don't worry Nurse Donut is here to help." Said Donut coming over to Grif.

"Anyone, but him please." Said Grif.

Roxas dodged Vile's laser eye beams, dodge rolling out of harms way. The Blues came to his aid. Caboose threw frag grenades at Vile. Vile got hit and flinched, Roxas took the opportunity to slash at Vile with his Keyblade. Vile fired a spark from his knee at Roxas paralysing him, Vile took that moment to fire his Vulcan cannon at Roxas, injuring him. Simmons and Sarge fired at the evil robot with their combined attacks, creating some damage to Vile as his armour was cracking. Vile staggered as Roxas stood his ground and threw his Keyblade at Vile striking him across his torso. The Keyblade returned to Roxas hand momentarily as the young boy got ready to fight again. Vile took some damage from the Keyblade, and fired his torpedoes at Roxas again, sending a barrage of them. Roxas dodged some but got hit by a few, covering him in soot and black marks. The Blues all fired their guns at Vile at the same time. Vile dodged their attacks but was also pummelled by the Reds, Grif by this time was back on his feet and firing away although lazily as ever. Vile sustained damaged but kept on, he fired fire balls at both teams.

"Scatter!" Said Sarge and Church to his men.

They did just that to dodge the oncoming attack from Vile. Roxas ran at Vile and slashed him three times, Vile kicked him and fired his torpedo at Roxas, hurting him. Roxas however stood his ground and slashed at Vile some more and continued to dodge his swift attacks. The fire balls missed some of the space morons but struck Grif and Tucker.

"Ah crap not again." Said Tucker noticing his armour was black.

"Oh well I'm not cleaning this up." Said Grif.

"Donut I order you to clean Grif now." Said Sarge while firing at Vile.

"Yes sir!" Said Donut as he threw water at Grif's armour.

"Damn it Donut, I was having my lazy moment here." Said Grif with scorn.

"You look squeaky clean Grif." Said Donut.

"Oh please." Said Grif in annoyance.

The battle resumed as Vile struck both teams with torpedoes striking them all, sending them flying across the area. Roxas fought with Vile angered that he harmed his friends.

"Don't you dare harm my friends." Said Roxas in anger.

"Friends? They'll rob you blind if you're ever knocked out like this." Said Vile as he fired a powerful torpedo at RoXas sending him flying to the space morons and knocking him out.

"Ouch," Said Roxas as he moaned in pain, the space morons stood by him.

Everyone looked at Tucker...

"Don't even think about it." Said Church

"What? I didn't say anything." Said Tucker.

"He needs help, I'll heal him." Said Donut as he cured Roxas.

"Rainbow Dash is that you?" Said Roxas in a dazed state.

"Nope, but I wish I was Pinkie Pie." Said Donut as he helped Roxas up.

"Uh guys Vile is still after us." Tucker pointed out.

"Then let's go beat him." Roxas said charging after Vile.

The space morons got out there weapons and fired at Vile again who launched missile, after missile at them as well as Roxas. Roxas dodged his attacks, and threw his Keyblade again at Vile striking him. Vile got pummelled with bullets pinning him down. Giving Roxas enough time to reach him and slash him across his chest multiple times. Vile had endure this battle enough, but his energy was being depleted at a moderate rate. How can he hang on is anybody's guess. Vile surrounded the area near him and Roxas in a pool of blue fire burning Roxas. Roxas flinched but stood his ground. Simmons hurled some frag grenades at Vile, harming him. Vile fired his shoulder cannon at Simmons as a counter attack. Amazingly Grif accidentally got in the way of the attack and got hit instead.

"Oh you got to be fucking kidding me." Said Grif annoyed.

"Thanks Grif." Said Simmons as he carried on the attack.

"For the first time dirtbag you walked into the right way of war." Sarge taunted him.

"I hate this war." Said Grif with a sad sigh.

Vile saw himself getting weaker, his moves were getting sluggish now. He had missed Roxas again, who dodged all of his torpedos with ease. The moment of retreat finally came when Vile received a vicious strike to his chest from Roxas, repeatedly. Vile stood on his knees feeling weak. Panting heavily.

"I'm not suppose to lose! Damn you Red cheerleaders next time we meet I'll make sure to put you 4 feet under ground. Not even Riku will be able to save you the next time we fight!" Vile said before reverting back to Setzer.

"Roxas! Roxas! Roxas! Roxas! Roxas! Roxas!" The crowd cheered.

"Roxas!" Hayner shouted.

"You did it!" Olette told Roxas.

"That was awesome Roxas! Now let's go celebrate at I-Hop!" Pence told Roxas.

"I did? I mean yeah we did it." Said Roxas in a cheerful tone.

"Just like old times. Right Grif?" Simmons asked Grif.

"Yeah I rather forget them, and enjoy Burger King." Said Grif while thinking of food.

"But I thought McDonalds took over Burger King?" Donut said with a confused look.

"No Donut, that was a joke on Twitter by hackers." Simmons corrected the rookie.

"Plus we already used that joke." Church told Donut.

"Yeah we can't overuse it you know." Said Tucker.

Roxas then waves to the crowd. The producer presents him with the championship belt. Roxas holds it up and the crowd cheers. Later, on the ledge of the train station, Roxas sits with his friends, holding the crystal trophy. Roxas takes off the yellow crystal and throws it to Olette. He then tosses the red and green crystals to Hayner and Pence. Roxas then takes his blue crystal and holds up to the sun.

"As promised." Roxas told his friends.

"Thanks a ton, Roxas! Too bad it's not a jelly filled doughnut." Pence stated while holding his crystal up to the sun.

"One more treasure for us to share...I'm gonna Church-Bay the shit out of this crystal!" Hayner said with a smile while holding his crystal up to the sun.

"I've got a present, too...for all of us." Olette told everyone.

"Alright free blowjobs!" Hayner said excitedly.

"Aww man but I wanted food!" Pence groaned.

"No Hayner it's not blowjobs!" Olette said before taking out 10 sea-salt ice cream bars...home made ones reader cause sea-salt ice cream is expensive. According to Hayner...

Roxas stands up on the ledge and teeters on the edge. He loses his balance and right before he falls he grabs hold of Caboose's arm bringing him down with him. This caused Caboose to grab Tucker's arm who grabbed Simmons who grabbed Sarge who grabbed Donut who grabbed Grif. Soon all the space morons started falling down with Roxas while Grif kept eating his ice cream.

"This ice cream tastes salty and home made too." Said Grif while eating his ice cream.

"Grif you've been eating the ice cream since we got here!" Simmons told the orange slacker.

"Well men looks like this is finally the end of Red team but at least will be taking those no good dirty Blue bastards with us! So mission accomplished...Uncle Sam would be proud!" Sarge told his men.

"Oh hey I heard Uncle Sam spied on us with the NSA." Said Donut.

"Quiet Cupcake or it's a month in the hole once we get to Heaven!"

"I sure hope it's Grif's hole...if you know what I mean. Tee hee hee hee!"

"Ugh that's disgusting Donut! Can't you see I'm eating here?!" Grif said with disgust.

"I'll allow it!" Sarge said.

"I would say shut up Donut, but that joke has been abused and I don't want to repeat it." Said Simmons.

"That's OK I will. Shut...GAH!" Tucker said before being shocked by his own armour. After trying to tell Donut to shut up.

"Oh yeah Tucker you'll be shocked to if you say shut up." Said Church.

"Shutting up!"

Over at the mainland of Destiny Islands Kairi can be seen walking down the path to the beach after school. Kairi has long auburn hair, blue eyes, 42 DD tits, white button up shirt, pink g-string with a purple K on it, blue and white plaid tie, long dark blue socks, and black formal shoes.

"Kairi! Wait up! Hey do you feel like going out to the island? Tidus and Wakka are all wrapped up in their ballgame and they won't go with me." Selphie asked Kairi who was wearing the same school uniform as the auburn haired girl.

"Nah not today sorry Selphie."

"Aww...why not Kairi?"

"Selphie do you remember those boys who used to hang out with us?"

"You mean Riku?"

"Yeah."

"Gee I wonder whatever happened to him? I sure do miss him."

"He's in a galaxy far far away. But I know in my heart that will see him again soon."

"Um Kairi maybe you should stop watching Star Wars so much?"

"Fuck that noise...Han Solo is hot! I love badass rugged men with nice chiselled abs and muscles." Kairi said while thinking about Han Solo and drooling a little. Yeah reader I don't know what else to say about this...

"Yeah he was in the 80's!"

"And the other boy?"

"What other boy?"

"You know the one who was with Riku and me all the time we played together on that island. His voice always used to be there...but now it's vanished. I can't think of his face, or his name. I feel real awful about it. So I told myself I'm not going to the island until I remember everything about him."

"Are you sure you just didn't make him up? Like your pretend boyfriend from Canada?"

"No! And for the last time Wolverine was totally real! So shut up!" Kairi said while fuming.

"Namine?" Roxas said while still falling from the clock tower with the space morons.

Suddenly Kairi ends up getting a migraine while Roxas continues to fall off the clock tower.

"Namine? Whose Namine?" Tucker questioned Roxas.

"Tucker were you even paying attention? She's the blonde girl we met at Twilight Town!" Church told Tucker.

"I don't remember her, but she sounds hot." Said Tucker.

"You weren't paying attention...that's a first!" Church told Tucker.

Caboose chimed in...

"Tucker only pays attention to his dick or his rock."

"But she had tits and Tucker always pays attention to those." Church told Caboose.

"I thought his memory was wiped out?" Grif asked Church.

"No we got ours back after leaving the boring castle." Caboose told Grif.

"Except me I had to be reminded by Caboose." Said Church.

"That's because we were with Alpha Church and you're Epsilon Church." Tucker told Church.

"I can't believe were about to die and our last conversation is about why Tucker doesn't remember a blonde haired girl that Roxas likes but just met not that long ago. Just great..." Simmons said.

"At least I have this ice cream with me before we die." Said Grif while eating his ice cream.

"Yeah which is fake! What's it like eating digital ice cream Grif?" Simmons asked Grif.

"It's...AAAHHH! Get off of me you fucker! Gah...hey give me back my ice cream you sons of bitches!" Grif yelled after being attacked by a bunch of seagulls who took his ice cream.

"Aaaw Grif being attacked by seagulls, what a perfect day to die." Said Sarge pleased.

"So whose Roxas talking to?" Tucker asked.

"Namine...? What the hell is happening to me?" Roxas asked Kairi.

"Who the hell are you? And that's not my name! I'm Kairi." Kairi told Roxas telepathically.

"Hey it's Sora's girlfriend. It's me Caboose! Do you remember me nice lady?" Caboose asked Kairi.

"Oh hey it's Kairi! Oh did your tits get bigger Bow Chicka Bow Wow?!"

"Tucker you pervert you can't even see her! Wait who is she again?" Church asked Tucker and Caboose.

"She's Sora's love interest." Caboose told Church.

"Oh if she is then why didn't he fuck her yet?" Church asked Tucker and Caboose.

"Because Sora wouldn't know what to do with a woman even if she sat on his lap!" Tucker told Church.

"And that is why you want to rape her?" Simmons questioned Tucker.

"Hey I never said I was gonna rape her!" Tucker told Simmons.

"Church? Tucker? Caboose? Is that you?" Kairi asked the three Blue soldiers.

"Yo baby long time no see, we should change that." Said Tucker.

"Where's Chris Hansen when you need him?" Said Grif.

"Why don't you have a seat over there." The voice of none other then Chris Hansen told Tucker. The host of To Catch A Predator could be heard but not seen.

"What the fuck? Where did he come from? And sorry pal I'm currently falling for my life right now...how long is this fall anyway?" Said Tucker.

"Kairi...I know you. You're that girl he likes." Roxas told Kairi.

"Who? Please, I need a name!"

"I'm Roxas."

"Okay, Roxas, but can you tell me HIS name?"

"You don't remember my name? Oh man thanks for nothing Kai! Okay, I guess I can give you a hint...but you owe me. Starts with an S!" The voice of Sora told Kairi.

"Are you OK? Kairi...? What's that?" Selphie asked Kairi.

"A letter...I wrote it yesterday, to the boy I can't remember. I said that no matter where he is...I'll find him. One day. And when I stopped writing, I remembered we made a promise, something important. This letter is where it starts. I know it."

"Wow...I hope he gets it."

"He will. Starts with an S. Right Sora?" Kairi said before putting a bottle with a note inside it in the ocean.

"Restoration at 79%." Said the monotone female computer voice again.

Diz continues to sit at the computer screens while watching old TV shows off the internet. The cloaked man aka Riku if you didn't know already can be seen juggling Roxas' blue crystal.

"His progress is amazing." Diz told Riku.

"So what the hell happened? Was Metal Gear involved?" Riku asked Diz while putting the blue crystal in the pouch he stole from Roxas.

"Namine's encounter with Roxas put his heart in contact with Kairi's. And that, in turn, affected Sora. You see? And no it has nothing to do with Metal Gear!"

"Namine? She's a wonder."

"She wasn't born like other Nobodies. She can interfere with the hearts and memories of Sora and those aligned with him."

"But whose Nobody is she?"

"I could tell you...But first, perhaps you could tell me your true name?"

"It's Ansem." Riku said after taking his hood off.

"It's an honour, Ansem!"

Over at TWTNW in the white room where the Organization XIII members have their meetings Axel can be seen along with a few other members.

"Get rid of him?! Wait a second! Isn't it a bit early for that?!"

"It's an order. Why are you hesitating? Aren't you the one who deals judgement upon those who disobey the Organization?" One of the hooded Organization members asked Axel.

"He hasn't turned his back on us! He's just unable to come back yet!"

"If he doesn't come back, he must pay the price. If you oppose these orders, you'll be the one to pay." The Organization member told Axel.

One of the Organization members throws a purple naginata and drives it toward Axel. It strikes to the right of Axel and causes some of his hair to be sliced off. Axel sits there while not even flinching. One of the other Organization members holds up a hand to pacify him. The naginata then vanishes and the Organization member who held his hand up summons a sphere of energy. Electrical bolts shoot out from it towards the walls.

"Turning me into a Dusk eh? Fine, I got it! I'll do it! I'll do it!"

Roxas and the space morons can be seen falling through space. Suddenly everyone wakes up back in Roxas' room.

"I'm dreaming...But which parts...were the dream?"

"Oh man what a party last night!" Tucker said after getting off of Roxas' bed room floor.

"Tucker there was no party!" Church told Tucker.

"Of course there was! Why else would I feel like I have a hangover?"

"If there was a party then I wouldn't be hungry cause all parties have food!" Grif told everyone.

"Oh man there was a party? Nobody told me that...I could have dressed as Sailor Moon or Officer Hot Pants!"

"Hey damn it if there was a party I would be the first to know...I'm the Social Chairman after all!" Simmons told everyone.

"Men if there was a party I would have known about it! Because I would have been playing pin the tail on the Grif...except the tail is my shotgun and instead of pinning it I would be shooting it. So yeah basically just shooting Grif."

"Oh boy I can't wait to play bobbing for apples!" Caboose said with excitement.

"Caboose there is no party Tucker made that up." Church told Tucker.

"Man Roy your party sucks! There's no hot girls here to score with...lame!" Tucker told Roxas.

"Because the only girls I know is Olette and Namine...well actually I just met Namine. But still..." Roxas informed Tucker.

"I think he is delirious because there's no party in here." Grif stated.

"Yeah, Tucker is just being Tucker although he is never this confused." Said Church.

"Maybe he should check go see a doctor." Simmons suggested to the Blues.

"But we don't like the purple guy, he's a lousy medic." Said Caboose.

"You mean Doc? Yeah nobody likes him, at least that's what Caboose told me." Church said.

"I wonder what happened to Doc?" Donut asked.

"No one cares!" Everyone except Roxas said.

"Whatever, I call your bed Roy, good night folks!" Said Tucker as he went to Roxas' room.

"Hey I am going to watch MLP on the Hub tonight in my bed." Said Roxas while throwing a pout.

"Oh man I almost forgot about the marathon tonight, I should make some popcorn." Said Donut.

"Count me in to Colonel McMuffin!" Said Caboose to Donut.

"Yeah while you two idiots are doing that, I'm gonna watch Shark week on my new Google Glasses." Said Simmons.

"You got the new Google Glasses? Since when?" Said Grif.

"Since I ordered them from Church-Bay Grif, of course you can't see them because you can't see through my helmet." Said Simmons.

"Whatever, they suck anyway because they don't allow porn." Grif said.

"There's more to life than porn Grif." Said Simmons.

"Yeah like Burger King and porn and no one wants your life Simmons, if you don't include porn. I bet you're still a virgin." Said Grif.

"...I'm not talking to you forever." Said Simmons as he walked away in bitterness.

"Hey can you tell Donut to share some of that popcorn? I'm starving." Said Grif as he went to sit on the couch.

**To Be Continued...**


	5. Do You Ever Wonder Why Were Here?

**Red vs Blue: The Kingdom Hearts 2 Saga**

**Episode 5: Do You Ever Wonder Why Were Here?**

**Twilight Town Day 5**

Over at Gaylight, I mean Twilight Town reader, Roxas and his merry band of space morons were walking about, doing stuff before Roxas meets up with his friends at the Usual Spot. They were up early because Grif's stomach woke them up like an alarm clock. They can be seen eating at I-Hop because that was the only place everyone could agree on.

"I cant believe my stomach woke us up, I'm starving!" Said Grif while eating a stack of pancakes.

"There's a bright side to it, we usually don't go out for breakfast any more." Said Simmons.

"Should we be eating this? Isn't it fake food?" Tucker asked while looking at the digital food on his plate which was eggs, bacon, waffles, pancakes, and French toast.

"It might be fake, but it sure does taste good!" Said Donut cheerfully.

"Donut you can't taste it it's like The Matrix movies...the first one not the second and third." Simmons told Donut.

"Damn Simmons don't disappoint me! This is good food and tastes almost as good as tacos!" Said Grif while eating...with his helmet on.

"How do Storm Troopers like yourselves eat with your helmets on?" Roxas asked the space morons while watching Grif eat.

"Why do people have spiky blonde hair that makes them look like a super Saiyan? Yeah we live in a fucked up multiverse buddy." Said Church.

"Hey fuck you Church you asshole space moron...my hair is PERFECT...perfect I tell you!" Roxas yelled at Church while temporarily taking on the form of a certain spiky haired brunette teen. Yeah reader that's right Sora...

"Dude now you're acting like censored! What are you his clone?" Said Tucker.

"Whoa sorry guys not sure what happened...I blacked out for a few seconds there. So what were we talking about?"

Everyone just looked at Roxas with WTF faces...

"I swear I just saw Sora for a second." Said Tucker.

"We were talking about how the food here is fake and how it's Tucker and his rock's fault." Caboose told Roxas.

"But the food here tastes good and real Caboose." Said Roxas.

"Well that's what Simon said while talking about the movie where everyone dodges bullets slowly." Caboose told Roxas.

"Men after today anything Roxas does is high priority no questions about it!" Sarge told his men gruffly.

"Shouldn't finding Riku be a main priority Sarge?" Donut asked Sarge.

"No Donut, Riku is dead remember? We told you that already." Said Simmons.

"It's true Donut that man who said he was the King of Pop took over him. Alas poor Riku for we hardly knew ye..." Sarge said while mourning Riku.

"Haven't we gotten e-mails and Tweets from Riku lately though Sarge?" Donut asked Sarge.

"That was obviously someone pretending to be Riku after hacking his accounts." Sarge told Donut.

"Yeah I bet it's the NSA pranking us!" Said Grif as a conspiracy theory.

"No way dirt bag it's obviously one of them MIB members like that red headed fella we fought the other day!"

"Please Sarge, I bet we're in some super computer built by the army to track our movements." Said Grif.

"Does anyone even remember how we got here?" Tucker asked.

"Well an explosion went off stopping all the Tex robot clones and then we ended up at that weird mansion...um my mind is having a hard time remembering the rest." Church told Tucker.

"Yeah mine as well." Tucker agreed.

"Same here actually." Simmons also agreed.

"Yeah I can't recall anything else either. Except that I was hungry."

"Well I most definitely remember shooting Grif...but that's it."

"Huh I can't remember anything after that either guys. You think the CIA is behind this?" Donut asked his allies.

"I thought God sent us here because we sinned against the Good Book? Which has no pictures and too many words and makes me sleepy in my armour. While the preacher guy who touches little boys in illegal ways is talking early in the morning." Caboose said.

"No way Caboose I would have remembered if that happened...which it didn't." Tucker told Caboose.

"I think God sent us here for his amusement." Said Grif.

"No he didn't Grif! I somewhat remember seeing a flash of black from the corner of my eye before everything went black." Simmons told Grif.

"Well either way someone is getting their jollies off by torturing us." Grif stated.

"I sure hope I don't miss MLP today...I feel bad neglecting the ponies lately because of what has happened lately." Roxas said in a sad tone of voice.

"Do you have DVR Roxas?" Said Donut.

"No whoever is in charge of my house is too damn cheap to buy it."

"Did you guys know America is gonna bomb Syria?" Said Simmons.

"I say we use Grif as a missile instead so that way we can bomb the Syrians, kill Grif, and save all those tax payer dollars that would've cost to make these bombs!" Sarge told everyone with excitement.

"Uh Sarge I'm sure Grif won't make an effective explosive." Said Simmons.

"Damn it Simmons don't ruin one of my best ideas ever!"

"You know I would pay to see that happen to Grif." Said Tucker with a chuckle.

"I'd pay to see you get run over by a tank." Church told Tucker.

"That already happened to Grif." Tucker told Church.

"Don't remind me." Said Simmons who gave his organs to Grif.

"I got to help!" Donut said.

"I still can't believe Sarge allowed me to get Simmons' organs, I mean he always wants to kill me and he could've let me died." Said Grif.

"Good news Grif before we launch you to Syria were gonna inject you with radiation."

"Blow me sir!" Said Grif in disgust.

"What's that Grif? I can't hear you over my shotgun!" Sarge said after shooting Grif.

"Ow Medic!" Said Grif.

"Looks like it's time for Nurse Donut again! Tee hee." Said Donut.

"This story has too much Nurse Donut." Simmons stated.

"Yeah give it a rest already sheesh." Said Tucker.

"Who thought it was a good idea to go into another war anyways?" Grif said.

"Quiet dirtbag, war is good for you." Said Sarge.

"Sir are we still at war with those black coat guys?" Donut asked Sarge.

"Yes Donut, remember there in league with those no good dirty Blues!" Said Sarge.

"Dude we've been fighting them as well!" Tucker told Sarge.

"Nothing but lies to mess with our focus in our quest to beat you no good dirty Blues." Said Sarge with Red pride.

"We killed like two of them! How many did you guys kill?" Tucker asked Sarge.

"Just one." Donut chimed in.

"Just one? Wow you guys suck!" Said Tucker.

"We killed someone? Wow that sounds really impressive!" Church said.

"Technically it was Sora who killed them." Said Caboose.

"We helped though!" Tucker told Caboose.

"Never mind I stand corrected." Church said unimpressed.

"Man I hate the thought of going back to school." Roxas said.

"But school is like so much fun! You can be the water boy for your local football team like I was during high school!" Said Donut.

"What is this school you speak of?" Said Caboose.

"Silly Caboose, school is where you go to learn about all sorts of things." Said Donut.

"Hey you can always get home schooled by Simmons." Grif suggested to Roxas.

"Hey do I look like a fucking tutor?" Simmons snapped at Grif.

"Oh I'm sorry I forgot you're just the correcter of our team, I stand corrected Mr. Corrector." Said Grif.

"Yeah but I won't be with my friends any more." Said Roxas sadly.

"Ah don't worry Roxas, we can be with you forever!" Said Donut cheerfully.

"Forever, and ever like a fairy tale." Said Caboose.

"No because then Disney will take it and make their own adaptation of it because they can't think of their own ideas." Tucker said.

"They're running out of ides anyways." Said Simmons.

"I thought Wreck It Ralph was pretty good." Donut said.

"There's always an exception Donut." Said Simmons.

"What's a good word for a no good cheating douchebag prick?" Church asked while not paying attention to the current conversation.

"Oh uh snake?" Said Donut.

"Snake where?" Said Simmons while jumping on Grif frantically.

"Tucker?" Caboose said.

"But Mr Caboose are you calling Tucker a cheater? He hasn't cheated before has he? If he has then shame on you Tucker!" Said Donut with a strong voice trying to sound tough.

"Get off of me Simmons." Said Grif.

"But there could be a snake nearby."

"Eh never mind I'll just use a thesaurus." Church said.

"Don't lecture me Donut." Said Tucker.

"Is breakfast over yet?" Simmons asked.

"I sure hope not." Grif said while eating.

"Grif don't eat with your mouth full, or I'll choke you with the food in your throat." Sarge warned him.

Dear Yuffie:

This is your old friend Sora, I have come to regret writing this, oh hell I'll just get to the point. Your boyfriend Tucker, if you should even be calling him that, keeps hitting on other women even your own age. He's a no good degenerate who has no morals and doesn't deserve anyone until he learns respect for girls which I'll say won't ever happen knowing his perverted nature. Heck he speaks more about his rock, and never mentions you. He never acknowledges you, as if he doesn't remember you at all. You're better off with someone else, someone who won't cheat behind your back. I'm sorry this has happened to you, terribly sorry, but Tucker is just out of control he's a monster. You deserve better than this piece of lying no good shit. I'm gonna get your shuriken back from him, he doesn't even deserve to hold it anymore. Once again Yuffie I am sorry to break this news to you, you thought this was a serious relationship, but Tucker never takes anything seriously.

Sincerely Sora, who won't ever cheat on anyone.

"Ha...take that Tucker you no good degenerate!" Church said to himself after sending the text message to Yuffie's phone.

"Hey Church you there? We're gonna leave, and you better pay for this food, since you promised." Said Tucker.

"I'm not paying for Jack shit." Church told Tucker from his armour.

"The fuck? You promised me you'll pay for the food." Said Tucker.

"It feels like he's talking to himself." Said Grif.

"Roxas said he'd pay." Church told Tucker.

"Yeah but he got robbed on the way here." Said Tucker.

"I'm not paying I worked hard for my munny!"

"No Tucker, he lost his wallet at his place, he didn't get robbed liar." Said Simmons.

"Yeah but it sounded better." Tucker said.

"You were the one who was gonna pay." Said Grif.

"Why do we have to pay? I thought this was place was fake?" Donut asked everyone.

"Doesn't mean they won't demand payment Donut." Simmons stated.

"Then will just shoot them in the face Simmons...Red Army won't support a fake digital world as long as I'm in charge!" Sarge told Simmons.

"I wonder if the real world is all fake like the Matrix." Said Grif.

"I highly doubt it Grif." Simmons told Grif.

"You may never know, robots could be watching us." Said Grif.

"Or emos!" Donut said.

"Like Riku?" Said Grif.

"Riku is dead Grif...the darkness took over him!" Simmons told Grif.

"I wonder if he drank too much Red Bull?" Said Donut.

"What does Red Bull have to do with the darkness? That sounded like something Caboose would say." Tucker told Donut.

"Drink Red Bull, it gives you wings and makes you use the darkness." Said Caboose.

"Shut...GAH!" Tucker said before being shocked by his armour.

"Thank God for that shocker, and thank God it wasn't put in my armour." Said Grif.

"No Grif you have one that shocks you when you go to sleep." Sarge told Grif.

"No wonder I feel a tingly sensation when I go to sleep." Said Grf.

Later on Roxas and the space morons arrive at the Usual Spot where Hayner, Olette, and Pence are at.

"Oh man breakfast was awesome! Who knew there were so many different types of pancakes?" Roxas said with excitement.

"Don't get me started I ate every part." Said Grif.

"You ate the whole restaurant Grif." Simmons told Grif.

"And we didn't even have to pay." Donut said.

"Well duh Sarge decided it was better to murder the manager." Said Grif.

"Next I'll murder Grif...in his sleep."

"While still being shocked in his armour sir?" Said Donut.

"Of course Donut it's the Red Army way!"

"So the Red Army way is having a shocker in your armour? Good thing I'm in Blue Team." Said Tucker.

Dear Sora:

Please tell me this is all a lie? I know you never lie, but damn it cannot be true at all! Tucker loves me, I gave him my shuriken for a fucking reason. I hope this isn't a god forsaken joke by Church to just get back at him for something.

Sincerely Yuffie.

"Shit she's on to me...better think of something fast! What would Sora say? Fuck I don't even know Sora!" Church said to himself inside his own head.

"Church are you still there...in my armour?" Tucker asked Church.

"I'm busy looking at Church-Bay's financial records! What do you need?"

"Uh we made it to the Usual Spot, I swear that's a dumb name, about as dumb as Caboose." Said Tucker.

"What are you guys talking about we've been standing in front of Hayner, Olette, and Pence for awhile now?!" Roxas told the Blues.

"Yeah are you guys on drugs or something?" Said Grif.

"Ugh...can't believe we have 3 days till school starts again!" Hayner complained.

"Yeah cafeteria food sucks balls!" Pence stated.

"Not even Grif will eat cafeteria food." Said Simmons.

"Ah gross don't remind me!" Grif complained.

"Are we going to finish the assignment or not?" Olette asked Hayner.

"We have to, and I don't intend to fail damn it!" Hayner replied.

"Any idea what we should write about?" Pence asked.

"We could write about the stuff happening to me lately. Like the dreams and guys in white. By the way yesterday...I fell of the station tower right?"

"You wouldn't be here if you did and no we will not write stuff about you." Hayner told Roxas.

"You can write about Tucker's rock and how he sucks at sex." Said Caboose.

"Hey...that's not true at all!" Tucker yelled.

"Oh you can write how much Harry Potter fanfiction rocks." Donut suggested.

"Denied Cupcake and I don't wanna hear anymore about your fanfiction until stated otherwise!" Sarge told Donut.

"You guys can write about food recipes, I'm hungry." Said Grif.

"Grif do you ever think about anything besides food? Not that your grades matter anyway since this is an virtual world."

"Don't tell them that...that's depressing." Church said.

"I'm not surprised Simmons doesn't care about anyone but his own self." Said Grif.

"I heard a rumour about the stone steps at Sunset Station. I heard you get raped on them going up and down." Pence told everyone.

"Whoa seriously?" Hayner said.

"And they're are 6 other weird stories like that...it's like the 7 Sexual Wonders of Twilight Town."

"Let's investigate these for our school project!" Hayner said.

"There might be other rumours as well let's split up." Pence said.

"Olette and I will see if there's any new rumours." Hayner said.

"That just leaves you, me, and your Storm Trooper friends Roxas. To the station!"

"Do we really have to be with this guy? I just feel awkward being near him." Said Tucker.

"Well Tucker you're in no position to tell anyone what to do." Said Church.

"As long as he doesn't give me cafeteria food, I don't care." Said Grif.

"Donut, I order you to take Grif to a school and stuff his helmet with cafeteria food." Said Sarge.

"Yes sir!" Said Donut as he grabbed Grif's hand and dragged him off to a nearby school.

"Oh this should be good." Said Simmons.

"Eew cafeteria food." Said Roxas holding his stomach.

"Whatever you do, don't bring me anything back." Pence shouted at them.

"Donut let me go now!" Grif demanded.

"Sorry Sarge's orders Grf." Said Donut.

"At least I wasn't taken." Said Tucker.

Dear Yuffie:

Does this look like the face of a person who would lie? Tucker doesn't deserve your shuriken a symbol of your love. He just wants to fuck bitches and screw hoes. You deserve far better and should think about dropping his space moron ass. What you need is a real man not a little boy. I just hope you can find the right person one day and forget the pain Tucker has caused you.

Sincerely the Key Bearer Sora.

Later on after getting off the train Roxas' group and Pence come across the steps Pence mentioned earlier.

"Hey aren't these the steps you mentioned earlier? The ones where you get raped going up and down." Roxas asked Pence.

"I believe so. But it's the stupidest thing ever...Rai is the one who said that. He was like Every time I go up the stairs I feel something Y'KNOW? Ha ha ha ha!"

"So basically he's just an idiot?" Roxas asked.

"Pretty much." Pence said.

"Huh just like Caboose." Said Tucker.

"Church...why do I only have 10 fingers?"

"...Do I really need to answer that? God gave you ten fingers Caboose." Said Church.

"And he gave me this shotgun to kill Grif with!" Sarge said before shooting Grif.

"I thought Command gave you a shotgun Sarge." Said Donut.

Sometime later after Roxas, Pence, and the space morons investigate 6 out of the 7 Sexual Wonders of Twilight Town they go to the old mansion. The same one the Reds and Blues ended up at after the explosion which stopped the Tex robot clones. Roxas can be seen staring at one of the windows.

"So what are we looking for exactly?" Roxas asked Pence.

"They say there's a girl in the second floor window even though nobody has lived here in years."

"Wait so there's a...ghost up there?" Said Donut nervously.

Roxas looks back at the window. Inside there is a white room with a long table and pictures on the walls. Everything but the colours in the pictures is white. One of the pictures focuses on Kairi with a paopu fruit.

"Roxas..."

"Namine?"

"How did we get here? I thought we were outside?" Church said.

"What happened to that fat kid?" Tucker wondered.

"Oh that was cool! Now pull a rabbit out of a hat next whoever sent us here!" Said Caboose.

"It's that blonde haired girl from the castle." Tucker told Caboose.

"But she doesn't look like a magician." Said Caboose.

Another picture with Roxas and Axel with their Organization coats on can be seen.

"This is me? And Axel is here too." Roxas said.

"Oh I remember this, it was when me, Church, and Agent Washing Tub went to hang out with Roxas." Said Caboose.

"You ARE best friends after all..." Namine told Roxas.

"You know what guys? I actually believe him." Grif told his teammates.

"Very funny." Roxas told Namine.

"If Grif believes it, then I don't." Said Sarge bluntly.

"Don't you wanna know the truth about who you really are?" Namine asked Roxas.

"But sir, it does feel like it happen, and I hate to admit it, but I agree with Grif." Said Simmons.

"No one knows me better than me."

"Of course."

"Simmons don't you remember what happened the last time you agreed with Grif?" Sarge asked Simmons.

"But I don't understand what's been happening lately." Roxas told Namine.

Roxas then notices a picture of Sora, Donald, Goofy, and the Blues...

"Hey there's us! I don't remember getting our picture taken." Said Tucker to his Blue team mates.

"That's because it was drawn Tucker like the others very horribly by a 5 year old from the looks of it." Church told Tucker.

"You know these 6 don't you?"

"Yeah Sora, Donald, Goofy, Church, Tucker, and Caboose. They're from my dreams."

"Damn even Caboose can draw better than that." Tucker replied.

"Anyone wanna look at my drawings? I coloured them myself." Said Caboose while showing off even uglier drawings.

"Um...yeah I stand corrected." Said Tucker.

"A year ago I had to take Sora's memories apart but now I'm fixing them and it's been taking awhile. But pretty soon Sora will wake up and be his old self again. The process has been affecting you as well Roxas. Your Blue and Red friends weren't affected though."

"You mean the weird dreams? Like the one where the Blues and Reds were inside a giant whale performing Swan Lake together?"

"Um yeah...sure. You and Sora are connected. And for Sora to be whole again he needs you."

Roxas then sees a picture of him and Sora together...

"Huh? Oh Yuffie finally replied! Thank God." Said Church to himself as he began to view her message.

Dear Sora:

I don't know why though...a part of me doesn't want to believe it, but you never tell me lies at all, I honestly want to believe you, but I don't know if anything you say can be the truth. I know Tucker is a pervert and likes to hit on girls. But he seemed like the type of nice guy you want in a relationship. I don't know what to do now...I'm so confused, if only you were here now you'd know how to cheer me up, a simple text message to me just rings a bit hollow, no matter what nice things you say to me on here, it just doesn't feel the same as it would in person. Wherever you are Sora please visit me soon, I need to know the truth from you in person, and you're the only one I can honestly confide in right now. Leon, Cloud, nor Cid won't take my bullshit, and Aerith can only do so much. I...hope this isn't a joke, I never like it when someone toys with my feelings, and if Tucker has been doing that he's so going to regret it!

Sincerely Yuffie.

"Me? Why me?"

"You are his other half Roxas...he needs you." Namine told Roxas.

"Namine? Namine who are you?"

"I'm a witch with the power over Sora's memories and those around him."

"A witch?"

"That's what Diz called me. But I'm not even sure why I even have this power. I just do and I don't think there's a right way to use it."

"I can't help you there. It's funny now I don't feel like I know myself at all. I guess I would like to know. What do you know about me that I don't?'

"You were never suppose to exist Roxas."

"What? How could you say that? Even if it were true! That's not the Brony way!"

"I'm sorry. I guess some things are better left unsaid."

Pence then shakes Roxas out of his staring contest with the mansion window. And he along with the space morons can be seen outside again.

"Woah! What happened?" Grif asked everyone.

"Roxas! Roxas!"

"Wuh?"

"So did you see her or not?"

"Yeah just watch the window closely."

"Oh how lame it's just a curtain moving. There must be a draft somewhere. I'm surprised this old place even has curtains."

"...Yeah."

"Well let's head back to the Usual Spot Hayner and Olette are probably waiting for us."

Later on Roxas, Pence, and the space morons arrived back at the Usual Spot where Olette is at...

"Hey guys. How'd it go?"

"The girl in the window turned out to be a curtain flapping in the wind."

"I figured just as much. The report for school is already done."

"All right!" Pence said with excitement.

"So wanna go look for Hayner? He's probably at the station. You know we only have 2 more days left together."

"Huh?" Roxas said.

"Summer vacation...remember?"

"Oh yeah...right." Roxas said.

Roxas' group, Pence, and Olette walk to Central Station and find Hayner sitting on the ledge eating ice cream.

"Tomorrow we search the town." Hayner told everyone.

"Next day is the fair." Pence told everyone.

"The last day of Summer." Olette told everyone.

"Woman don't say such depressing things while I'm enjoying my ice cream...which taste like you Olette."

"Caboose I need your help." Church told Caboose while floating in the air right by Caboose while still in his A.I. state.

"To beat up Tucker? On it!" Said Caboose while kicking Tucker in the nuts.

"Ow my blue balls are now...blue!" Tucker said before falling face down on the ground.

"No Caboose I your help writing a message to Yuffie from Sora! You know him the best out of the three of us."

"Ooooh, do I write how much Tucker sucks to the ninja lady? And why are you asking me if Sora is writing it?" Said Caboose.

"No Caboose I'm writing a message to Yuffie pretending to be Sora while trying to get her to break up with Tucker. Because he is horrible with women."

"But...I thought Tucker loved his rock?" Said Caboose.

"You told me that Yuffie was his girlfriend."

"Oh um I forgot, that she is." Said Caboose.

"Are you going to help me or not? I can't ask the Reds since they don't know Sora well enough and I definitely can't ask Tucker. You're my only option left!"

"Let me think on that for a minute." Said Caboose who took ten minutes to think it over.

"Fine just try not to take too long please!"

10 minutes passes as Caboose finally decides...

"OK Church I'll help you, because you're my best friend ever!"

"Normally I would disagree with that statement but I need your help very badly."

"Just tell me what to do, and I'll do it." Said Caboose stupidly.

"We are writing a message to Yuffie and we need to make it sound like it's from Sora."

"Oh! Should I say how spiky my hair is? Or how my shoes look like clown shoes?" Caboose asked him.

"On second thought just tell me more about Sora that way I can write a message that sounds like it's from him."

"No, no! I can do this Church, give me a...um what's the word?" Said Caboose.

"Ugh...fine!"

"Yay! Thank you Church! You won't forget it!" Said Caboose cheerfully.

"What do you have?"

"Well we can say to her like um...like light, the heart, and darkness shall be vanquished by friendship." Caboose suggested using Sora's old themes.

"Caboose what would Sora say to Yuffie?"

"Dear Yuffie: We are very good friends, I would never ever lie to you! Tucker is Tucker, he's very mean and not nice. Our friendship is very strong and can conquer any darkness, so there is no reason for me to lie to you about...um this. Tucker is the darkness and our friendship is the light or something like that." Said Caboose the best he could.

Sincerely Sora the big clown shoed spiky haired kid.

"Good enough." Church told Caboose.

Over at a dimly lit room in the old mansion Diz can be seen sitting in a large wooden chair. Riku then walks into the room...

"I'm trying to make the la li lu le lo, I mean the Organization don't interfere with our plans for Sora." Said Diz to Riku.

"So then why did you show Roxas the train? Colonel...er I mean Diz what are you not telling me?"

"Because he missed the trip to the beach...also I need scissors 61!"

"You think we're in just some kind of role playing game? That's almost kind of you." Said Riku while sort of breaking the 4th wall.

"What about you? Are the holes in your memory starting to fill in? If you need to save your game just use your codec to contact the hot 16 year old Chinese girl on our team. She'll also share some Chinese proverbs as well."

"I hope she isn't a fake by some computer A.I. but yes the haze is clearing." Said Riku.

"The same is happening to everyone who has ties to Sora. Very soon he'll be like a good friend who has been away for a year. Remember if you want to get through doors you'll need to equip the right keycard with the correct number on it."

"I hope some red headed girl doesn't have them. By the way I've waited long enough I want to know what it is that you want." Riku commented.

Meanwhile at Destiny Islands Kairi and Selphie can be seen...

"ACHOO!" Kairi sneezed.

"Kairi are you OK?"

"I think somebody is talking about me...I sure hope he's cute." The auburn haired girl said.

"Wanna go see the new Wolverine movie?"

"Sure."

Back to Diz and Riku...

"Revenge...but the terrorists have only given us 48 hours before they launch the nuke!"

"I heard one of them is blond, speaks with an English accent, and has no shirt on. Revenge you say?" Said Riku.

"Now time for the finishing touches. First we must kill Namine. She did a great job with Sora but it's time she vanished. Roxas wasn't the only mistake. Take care of it Ansem. And don't forget to push the action button to be less emo!"

"Restoration at 97%."

Sora's last batch of memories flow through his mind. Sora, Donald, Goofy, Alpha Church, Tucker, and Caboose can be seen at The End of The World.

"Damn D the acid wore off hours ago so why do I feel high all of a sudden? This reminds me of my latest single Bitches Be Tripping On The G featuring D. Guess the Heartless also like to get high." Goofy said.

Sora looks around shocked...

"I can't believe what I'm seeing! Ansem and the Heartless have gone too far! I hope when we beat Ansem the worlds go back to normal, and when we do I wanna kick that fucker in the balls for destroying my island and after that go get a drink." Said Sora.

"And we can send the Blues with him!" Donald said.

"Um no Donald...that joke is old and not funny...at all." Sora told Donald while breaking the fourth wall.

"But this is a flashback from KH1, we agreed to stop it in KH2, so this doesn't count." Said Donald.

"I'm breaking the fourth wall...your argument is invalid."

"We're still in KH1 so even in a flashback it's still valid." Said Donald, "Besides I wanna be mean to the Blues one more time."

"Dude don't break the fourth wall! Bad things happen when someone does that." Tucker told Sora.

"Normally to you Blue guys." Said Donald.

"Are we just gonna reference all the horrible jokes from the first story?" Church asked.

"Isn't that the point of this flashback?" Donald shrugged.

Suddenly Deadpool and...Deadpool appeared...the fuck? I'm out reader this shit is getting too damn weird...

"So I heard someone is breaking the fourth wall!" Author Deadpool said.

"Dude I do that all the time...it's hilarious! This one time I compared Sam with Commander Shepard since he looks like him in Blacklist." Marvel Deadpool said.

"Holy shit...other me! The Marvel version of me! Where did you come from?" Said Author Deadpool.

"Oh you know just looking for tacos...but then I remembered that certain people took them all. Certain orange people..."

"Oh but there aren't any orange lazy space morons here, my alter dimensional counterpart, there are people here who needs a lesson in breaking the fourth wall...that is unacceptable."

"Huh that's weird...Max told me that joke died out." Marvel Deadpool said.

"This is a flashback duh." Said Author Deadpool.

"Um...maybe we should move on?" Sora said.

"Agreed." Church said.

Later on Sora starts to remember the fight against Ansem over at Destiny Islands...

"Don't bother you wannabe. Your voice can no longer reach him where he is fool! His heart belongs again to darkness like it should. All worlds begin in darkness, and all so end like always. The heart is no different in this matter. Darkness sprouts within it, grows, consumes it. Such is its nature. In the end, every heart returns to the darkness whence it came. Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth boy?!"

Sora yawned...

"I'm sorry I was thinking of a special person while you kept on spouting cliche nonsense, you give a monologue while I and my friends listen to it, yeah I just want to get this over with and go back to my life asshole. Besides that's not even true! The heart may be weak. And sometimes it may even give in. But I've learned that deep down, there's a light that never goes out!" Said Sora.

"Dude that's g-y...AAAHHH!" Tucker said before being hit by a Thunder spell.

"Sorry it's like something told me to do that." Donald said.

"Good move Donald, I was getting tired of that." Said Sora.

"Sora shut...AAAHHH!" Tucker yelled after being stuck by a plasma grenade.

"Whoops sorry!" Caboose said.

"I never thought I say this but thank you Caboose." Said Sora.

"Man Sora your memories are all out of whack I don't remember anything happening like this! Whose in charge of all of this anyways?" Church said.

Later on Sora remembers defeating Ansem...

"It is futile you crackers. The Keyblade alone cannot seal the door to darkness. Kingdom Hearts! Fill me with the power darkness. So that I may destroy these player haters once and for all!" Ansem said while stretching out his hand to Kingdom Hearts.

"And here comes the usual ga...ack!" Said Tucker before getting smashed by Goofy's shield.

"Sorry about that my wigger...it was like I had the urge to pimp slap a hoe." Goofy said.

"You're wrong. I know now, without a doubt. Kingdom Hearts is light!"

"G...you know what? Fuck it!" Said Tucker giving up and not wanting to get hurt.

"This has been a great victory over Tucker and his annoying overused phrases." Church said.

"Whatever, I'll use something else next time...if I can think of anything." Said Tucker.

"Now, Sora! Let's close this door for good! But before you do I have some advice...remember kids if you want to start a war in the Middle East, all you gotta do is lie, and be president. Also...I've got the munchies!" Said King Mickey Mouse from behind Kingdom Hearts.

"Hey I'll have you know that I was looking for the tacos in Syria...unfortunately the Taco Bandit wasn't there...damn he's good!" Max said.

"Bad news Max we couldn't find the Taco Bandit in the Middle East just a bunch of terrorists." Deadpool told Max.

"Wait a second how did we get here?" Non Michael Ironside Sam asked his allies.

"This is a flashback scene you fake and now that your old voice actor has quit Splinter Cell, MGS is far better now." Said Snake while striking a victory pose.

"Step aside noobs you don't have what it takes to troll space morons...let me show you how it's done!" Spider-Man told Max, Snake, Sam, and Deadpool.

"Does anyone here think it was a bad idea to bring him?" Said Sam.

"Nope." Snake said bluntly.

Sora remembers helping Donald and Goofy close Kingdom Hearts...

"Take care of her...no matter what" Riku told Sora.

"...Fuck this means we have to do another adventure Goofy! I just hope the Blues don't..." Said Donald before being whacked by Goofy's shield.

"Sorry D, but something made me do that." Said Goofy.

"Um yeah listen Riku I'll try my best to protect Kairi as a friend...but I don't know I just don't feel the same about her that I used to a year ago. There's someone else that I've been thinking about a lot lately...someone that I didn't even know that I harboured deep feelings for. I just hope Kairi understands..."

"That's great and all Sora but you realise you still have to tell me this when you wake up...right? You're still asleep..."

"Yeah but I don't even know where to find you!"

"Just search the nearest place with a lot of drugs...that's what I would do. Also any place without the Reds would be a good idea as well...

Sora then remembers telling Kairi goodbye...

"Kairi!"

"Sora!"

"Kairi remember what you said before? I'm always with you too. I'll come...no wait I can't do this! Kairi I'm sorry but I don't have the same feelings for you that I did a year ago. Let's be realistic here neither one of us has really anything in common with each other...we have no chemistry. Me and Riku have more chemistry with each other than you and I do. I'm sorry Kairi but there's someone else...someone that I've been thinking a lot about lately. I didn't even realise I had feelings for this person. But now I can't get them out of my mind. I just hope we can still be friends and you won't be mad at me Kairi. I'm pretty sure Riku is still interested in you since we had a rivalry between each other...we even used to argue over who we thought you liked better."

"That's great Sora but I'm just a memory of Kairi not the real thing...I don't even think I look like this anymore. I just hope my boobs got bigger...I hate being flat chested! Either way you'll have to tell the real me this once you find her."

"Yeah I know...I was just practising is all. Hopefully this conversation goes as smoothly with the real Kairi like it did in my head."

Sora then remembers when he, Donald, and Goofy closed Kingdom Hearts and were walking through a grassy area leading to Castle Oblivion.

"Well, now what the hell do we do?" Donald asked the group's leader.

"I don't know...damn I have this very empty feeling in the pit of my stomach now." Said Sora.

"Don't worry Sora you just got to get some food in your stomach." Goofy told Sora.

"Too bad the Blues ate all of our food supplies. Any idea what happened to our ship?" Donald said.

"I was wondering the same thing." Goofy said.

"Maybe the Blues took it." Said Sora.

"No Sora they were with us the whole time." Donald told Sora.

"Oh right, sorry Donald, my mind was on someone. I'm not really paying attention" Said Sora.

Sora and the others then see Pluto with a letter in his mouth...

"Pluto?"

"Yo dawg...what up?"

"Hey!"

"Looks like he's got a letter from the King...sure hope it's an invitation to another orgy party!"

"Hey, have you seen King Mickey?"

Pluto leads the way by running...

"Guys, let's go!"

Sora then remembers going to Castle Oblivion with Donald and Goofy. Roxas then remembers a dark ocean beach which is completely black including the water. A figure wearing a black zip up jacket can be seen sitting on a rock looking at the ocean. Another figure with the same jacket on then appears out of a dark portal. The figure sitting on the rock turns to the second figure.

"You have arrived. I've been to see him...He looks a lot like you." The first figure said to the second one.

"Who the hell are you?" The second figure asks the first.

Over at TWTNW rain can be seen poring down hard while Neoshadows rise from the ground and surround Roxas wearing his old Organization coat from Days. Roxas summons the Oathkeeper and Oblivion Keyblades. Roxas destroys several Heartless before looking up at a nearby skyscraper. Riku with a blindfold around his eyes can be seen on top of the skyscraper near Roxas. Roxas then jumps and runs up the side of the skyscraper and then tosses the Oblivion Keyblade at Riku who dives off the edge of the building and catches it with one hand before falling down past Roxas. The move was so impressive that even Sarge himself would be impressed and then use Grif as a shield against the Heartless. Roxas and Riku then turn to look at each other as they pass. After both Roxas and Riku reach the bottom they then destroy the remaining Heartless. Riku and Roxas then turn on each other and start exchanging blows with their Keyblades. Roxas then slashes at Riku's abdomen knocking him backwards on the ground.

"Why do you have the Keyblade? This is physically impossible! Not even pony magic can give you the Keyblade!" Said Riku in disbelief.

"Hey you shut the fuck up emo nobody talks shit about MLP...not even Axel!"

Roxas then delivers the final blow to Riku before everything goes black in his mind.

**To Be Continued...**


	6. Protect Me Cone!

**Red vs Blue: The Kingdom Hearts 2 Saga**

**Episode 6: Protect Me Cone!**

**Twilight Town Day 6**

Over at Roxas' bedroom the young boy wakes up and slides off the bed and shifts from Sora and himself several times. Roxas then opens his bedroom windows and several birds fly in the sky. Later on after breakfast Roxas and his space moron friends go to the Usual Spot. Hayner, Olette, and Pence can be seen there already.

"Man guys I could not sleep last night...I dreamed that MLP was cancelled!"

Roxas's friends gave no response to him, they just stood silent.

"Guys? Did you hear me?" Said Roxas, "Don't tell me I spooked all of you when I mentioned MLP." Said Roxas.

"Maybe time froze or something." Said Grif.

"If time really froze Grif, then why are we still moving?" Said Simmons.

"All apart of Walt Disney's plan to annoy the fuck out of us." Grif replied.

Roxas reaches for Hayner but his hand goes right through him.

"Wuh?"

Roxas then steps back and watches his friends laugh and noticing his existence. Hayner, Pence, and Olette then run through Roxas. Roxas then picks up a picture of Hayner, Pence, and Olette which originally included him.

"Ugh...not even MLP can cheer me up now." Roxas said with a sad sigh.

Suddenly Church recieved a radio signal the voice was familiar...

"Church...come in...Church?" It was faint over the static, but it was getting clear, it was Wash aka Agent Washington or Washingtub if you're Caboose.

"Wash is that you?" Church asked the former Freelancer over Tucker's radio.

"Yeah, thank God! I was trying to...No Chief you can't use one of the pods! No they are not VR games! No damn it leave Donald and Goofy's pods alone! And whatever you do don't mess with Sora's...DAMN IT FIGMENT WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU?! So anyway..." Said Wash.

"Whose Chief?" Church asked.

"Master Chef and Agent Washingtub!" Caboose said excitedly.

"Um he's the Master Chief that not only destroyed Halo and the Covenant, but won't stop bugging the crap out of us...NO FIGMENT STOP DRAWING SONY SUCKS ON SORA'S POD! NO YOU CAN NOT OPEN IT AND KICK HIS BALLS! STOP IT THIS SECOND OR ELSE!" Wash roared at Chief.

"Wash where are you?" Church asked Wash.

"I'm in a room where Sora's, Donald's and Goofy's pods are." Said Wash.

"We have to get to Sora's pod!" Church said.

"Your bodies are here as well...except yours Church...for obvious reasons. Listen you guys have to escape from there the place your in isn't real! NO FIGMENT STOP TRYING TO OPEN SORA'S POD FOR THE LAST TIME! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE TRYING TO DRAW ON HIS FACE! Alan make him quit already."

"Whose Alan?" Church asked him.

"Oh he's the European homeless man!" Caboose told Church.

"Homeless man? WTF?" Church said flabbergasted.

"Um yeah Alan heard that Caboose...he's not very happy." Wash said over the radio.

"Tucker did it." Said Caboose.

"What? No I didn't! Hey Church have you seen Yuffie's number I can't find it anywhere in my armour's software."

"Oh uh, I don't know Tucker, maybe you accidentally deleted it when you tried to text message that girl you met recently?" Said Church.

"Oh yeah I tried to text Olette the other day but Roy wouldn't give me her number."

"Church...you guys...need...to...get...out...of...there...now! Shit the reception on this thing is going straight to Hell! Radio me once you get closer. Stop Chief don't hit Alan in the nuts." Wash said before ending the radio transmission.

"So um what are we suppose to do exactly?" Said Tucker to Church.

"Don't look at me! How the hell should I know? I don't know where Sora's body is! Don't you or Caboose know where it is? Didn't both of you travel with Sora to where he fell asleep for a year?"

"Yeah but it doesn't mean we know where it's at! The Reds were there as well by the way." Tucker told Church.

"Oh are you guys talking about the room where that spiky haired kid, Donald, and Goofy's pods are at?" Said Grif.

"Yes. Where is it?" Church asked Grif.

"It was in some big white Castle called Castle Oblivion, I think it was in the basement." Said Grif.

"No Grif it's in that old mansion!" Simmons corrected Grif.

"Hey that's not too far away from here." Said Tucker.

"Well someone tell Roxas so we can go there. Once again we have a long trip back home." Church said.

"Hey Roy stop mourning over your damn ponies! We have to leave...right now." Tucker told Roxas.

"Where are we going?" Roxas asked him.

"To bang your mom! Does it matter? Just go already." Tucker told Roxas.

Dear Sora:

Sorry that's it's been awhile since I sent you a message. Been having to deal with Cid, Leon, and Aerith lately. Cid is making me pay for the computer I destroyed the other day when I found out Tucker cheated on me. Leon is accusing me of trying to out emo him and calling me by your friend Riku's name...who none of us have ever met before. But I know you spoke very highly of him even if you did say he was very emo. Aerith is trying her best to make me feel better but she won't give me any space...I had to hide from her recently. Ugh I'm so sick of being depressed what with Tucker cheating on me and the ab...uh on second thought that second one is personal. I'll tell you about it in person when were alone if I ever see you again that is! I know you're busy fighting the Heartless but please at least make an attempt to come and see me...even if that means bringing your goofy ass friends with you. Also did you have Caboose write that last message? It sounded something he would say...I'm not really sure. I'll admit I'm feeling a little bit better but I'm not a 100 percent sure what to do and I'm still very confused...I just wish you were here. Well anyways I'll talk to you soon I think Aerith is still looking for me...maybe I'll go see Cloud.

Sincerely The Not Feeling So Great Ninja Yuffie Kisaragi.

"Holy shit that was pretty close! Thank God she didn't figure it ou...huh I wonder why she cut off that word...hmm curious." Said Church in confusion.

Roxas and the space morons leave the Usual Spot and are then cornered by Dusks before Axel appears...

"Bad news Roxas the higher ups say if you don't come back with me that I have to destroy you. You the guy who was gonna be my vice president had Max Payne not won the election."

"Him again? Hey buddy why don't you go get laid instead of bothering us." Said Tucker.

"I would if that girl...ugh what's her name didn't vanish...then there was Larxene but she was a bitch and always assaulted my balls." Axel said while trying to remember Xion.

"Whose he talking about?" Grif asked everyone.

"Maybe he's talking about that girl with black hair that died and ate ice cream with us?" Caboose said.

"I don't remember or met a girl like that Caboose." Said Church.

"That's OK Epsilon you and Tucker weren't there. It was me, Alpha Church, Roxas, Xion, Axel, the homeless man, Agent Washingtub, and Master Chef."

"Was that her name?" Said Church to Caboose.

"Yeah she died when we helped Roxas fight her at the place where we ate ice cream." Caboose told Church.

"Damn don't remind me of Ice cream! You're making me hungry." Said Grif.

"But Axel were best friends...right? Don't you know that Friendship is Magic?" Roxas told Axel.

"Uhg Roxas, do you have to remind me of MLP? I had enough of that from you when we were apart of the Organization together. Sure were best friends but I'm not getting turned into a Dusk for...Wait a second! Do you remember now?!" Said Axel.

"Yeah of course I do...why wouldn't I?" Roxas said in an unsure sounding voice.

"That's great! But I have to make sure that you do just to make sure that you're not lying. So umm...what's our boss' name?"

"Paul Schmidl Peter?" Roxas said nervously.

"Nope guess again!" Said Axel.

"Um...Big Boss?" Said Roxas.

"Laura Bailey?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? I can't even believe this!"

Roxas' stick in his hand then turned into the Kingdom Keyblade. He and the space morons then defeated the group of Dusks surrounding them. Axel is about to attack with his chakrams but is frozen. Roxas notices this and stops...

"Roxas go to Shadow Moses Island...I mean the mansion! The time has come to destroy Metal Gear once and for all!" Diz told Roxas out of nowhere...Nanomachines son! I think that's what it is reader...

"Rainbow Dash! Twilight Sparkle! Pinkie Pie! Fluttershy! Apple Jack! Rarity!"

Roxas and the space morons then run to Market Street...

"Looks like the Roxas I knew and ate ice cream with is long gone...just like Tech TV and Xplay. Fine then I see how it is corporate 'Merica..." Axel said after being unfrozen.

Dear Yuffie:

It's OK I'm kind of preoccupied with my own stuff right now. Just hang in there I'll see you soon once I get the chance. I'll definitely have the Reds, Blues, Donald, and Goofy with me. And yeah Riku is pretty emo but you're nothing like him...you have boobs! But joking aside don't let anyone tell you that you're emo cause you're not. And yeah I was kind of in the middle of something so I had Caboose write the last message. I know things have been hard what with Tucker cheating on you and all but hang in there...I'm fine with you telling me your personal problems as well. I know things seem really confusing now but hang in there and I'll try to be there soon. Also try not to spend too much time with Cloud or you might really become emo.

Sincerely Sora.

Roxas and the space morons soon arrive at the mansion and find the gate is locked. Suddenly Dusks surround them...

"Crap we never get a break huh?" Said Tucker.

"Damn it don't tell me to come here just to lock me out! That's just trolling..." Roxas complained.

"Why don't we just um...kick the door down?" Donut suggested.

Roxas gets a vision of Sora holding out his Keyblade and steps back from the gate and unlocks the keyhole in it. The gate then opens and Roxas' group runs inside. The Dusks try to follow but are then stopped by Riku holding his Soul Eater. Roxas and the space morons enters the mansion and finds the White Room. Roxas walks past all of the horrible drawings that he had seen before since Namine sucks at drawing. Roxas then notices a picture of him in an alleyway of TWTNW from his dreams and he suddenly gets a headache.

In a flashback over at TWTNW Roxas can be seen leaving the Organization's castle after just defeating Saix. Alpha Church, Caboose, Wash, Alan, and Chief can be seen with him. Axel can be seen leaning against the wall of a building.

"So I guess your mind's made up?" Axel asks Roxas.

"Why the hell did the Keyblade even choose me? I have to know why and if it's an elaborate government conspiracy or not!"

"You can't turn on the Organization Roxas!" Axel told Roxas.

Roxas' vision stops and he sees Namine in the White Room.

"Organization XIII...they're a terrorists group."

"A terrorists group you say? Well no worries, any terrorists will fall at the might of the Red army! Just like how we beat those terrorists in Syria when we launched Grif from that battleship like a missile." Said Sarge in a dramatic way.

"But Sarge he's talking about the MIB!" Donut told Sarge.

"Yeah they're not terrorists." Said Grif, "I think."

"Terrorists or not I don't know. All I know is that they are a bunch of incomplete people who wish to be whole. To that end they're desperately searching for something and won't stop till they find it."

"Somebody better hire Sherlock Holmes then if they want to find it so badly." Church jested.

"What is it?" Roxas asked Namine.

"Kingdom Hearts."

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"What's so funny?"

"It's just that I've been running away from the question that I've really wanted to ask. What's gonna happen to me now? Just tell me that nothing else really matters anymore...well except MLP of course."

"You are..." Namine says before she begins to flicker.

"Namine?!"

Namine then breaks into several pieces and then disappears. Diz then appears in a flash of data.

"Oh my God, the young nice blonde lady turned into a old man." Said Caboose stupidly.

"Hey that's Diz the guy that Riku met at the castle!" Simmons said.

"There's no knowledge or amount of knowledge that can ever change your fate...don't let the government use you like a pawn! Space morons...FUCK! I NEED SCISSORS 61! " Diz told Roxas.

"I got a Nintendo 64, but Tucker sold it on Church-Bay." Said Caboose randomly.

"Actually that was Yuffie's but I did sell it on there."

"You're a terrible person Tucker." Church told Tucker.

"I don't care if it does or doesn't! I wanna know...I have the right to know! Also stay away from my friends!"

"He can have Grif, saves us a lot of trouble." Said Sarge.

"A Nobody has no rights once so ever nor the right to even exist...just like your space morons friends."

"But what the hell is a Nobody?!" Roxas asked Diz.

Suddenly Riku still in Ansem form appears...

"Diz were out of time there's too many Nobodies! The terrorists have already input the codes and are about to launch the nuke!" Riku told Diz.

"Damn it! Liqui...I mean they must be stopped! Also remember to push the action button to look less emo." Said Diz.

A portal then appears behind Diz and Namine can be seen in it...

"Roxas remember Nobodies like us are half a person! You won't disappear...you'll be whole!"

"I'll disappear?"

"No further outbursts from you Dr. Naomi Hunter...er I mean Namine!" Diz told Namine.

"No you won't disappear! You'll-"

Diz then grabs Namine and covers her mouth...

"No wait don't do that it's not part of the Brony Code!"

Roxas tries to run to the portal but is stopped by Riku. Namine takes Diz's hand off of her mouth.

"Don't worry Roxas we will meet again and then will talk about everything. I may not know that it's you and you may not know it's me. But I promise we will meet again someday soon...and watch MLP together!" Namine said before both her and Diz vanish in the portal.

"Hey bring her back you KKK ripoff...we were gonna watch MLP together!"

Riku then goes through the portal right before it vanishes...

"Namine...now how will we watch MLP together?" Roxas said with a sad tone of voice.

"Hey guys didn't that guy in the black coat feel familiar?" Said Donut to his red team mates.

"It's the guy who killed Riku!" Sarge said.

"What? No way we helped Sora kill that guy...that was Dracula!" Tucker said.

"That's funny Tucker Caboose said it was a guy named Ansem." Said Church.

"That was him Church that was the guy who said darkness all the time! Oh and you're suppose to tell Tucker that this isn't Castlevania...or something."

"Huh? Am I? Was that like a running gag or something?" Church asked Caboose.

"Yes." Caboose said.

Later on Roxas and the space morons find the Mansion Library and walks over to a table with an incomplete drawing on it. Roxas picks up a yellow crayon and finishes the symbol. Suddenly a hidden room beneath the floor is revealed. Roxas walks into another basement room and finds a large set of monitors and an odd machine. Roxas' head starts to hurt again and he is then reminded of the large white room with large white chairs where the Organization members sat. Roxas then remembers running down the streets of TWTNW while being chased by Dusks. He can then be seen confronting Riku.

"Why do you have the Keyblade? This is physically impossible! Not even pony magic can give you the Keyblade!" Said Riku in disbelief.

"Hey you shut the fuck up emo nobody talks shit about MLP...not even Axel!"

Roxas attacks Riku but Riku knocks him away with the Keyblade tossed from his hand. Riku walks over to Roxas' body and slams the Oblivion Keyblade into the ground next to Roxas' head. Roxas then struggles to get up using the Oblivion Keyblade for support. He pulls the Keyblade out of the ground and runs towards Riku. Roxas fires a Dark Firaga at Roxas. Roxas deflects the spell with his Oblivion Keyblade. Roxas lunges at Riku but Riku then jumps out of the way.

"Why don't you quit? There's gonna be a MLP marathon soon, and I don't have time for your stupid games!" Said Roxas in anger.

"Come on Sora. I thought you were stronger than this. Or do you really want to buy a GmeCube after all?"

"Wuh? Get your eyes checked emo! Look who is winning. And you're the one whose gonna end up buying a GameCube!"

"So it's true. You really are his Nobody. Guess DiZ was right after all." Said Riku.

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm me! And Nobody else...especially not Troy Baker!"

Roxas summons both his Keyblades and runs towards Riku and tries to strike him. Riku dodges the first attack but isn't able to block the second and ends up with a gash on his arm. Riku then hears Xion's voice in his head...

"Riku please! You must stop him!"

"How many times do I have to kick your emo ass?"

"All right you have left me with no other option...and I'm not emo I don't care what the Reds say!"

"Wuh?

"I have to release the power in my heart powered by the forces of stealth, cigarettes, cardboard boxes, and giant mechs that can fire nukes! This is the dark power that I've been holding back...the very power that was used by that Michael Jackson impostor! Even if it changes me forever and causes me to lose all my loyal fangirls!" Riku said after taking his blindfold off.

A bunch of dark pillars soon surround Riku and Roxas readies his Keyblades. Soon the dark pillars fade and reveals Michael J...er I mean Ansem The Seeker of Darkness or Xehanort's Heartless. The Guardian can also be seen Riku in his Ansem form. Riku teleports in front of Roxas and the Guardian grabs Roxas by his torso and arms and starts to squeeze him hard making him drop his Keyblades. They fall on the ground and then vanish...

"I have now accepted it...my new mission to find out what every animal tastes like!" Riku said.

Later on Riku can be seen standing over Roxas' body. Roxas' memories of Xion start to fade until only him and Axel sit on the clock tower. Diz then appears through a corridor of darkness and Riku puts his hood up.

"Diz he could feel Sora...and the Patriots."

"Oh so he told you how he felt did he now? Ridiculous...a Nobody cannot feel anything. But excellent work either way looks like age hasn't slowed you down one bit."

"If he had met Sora I'm sure things would have been different...then maybe FOXHOUND would be disbanded."

"Roxas don't be emo. I came from you and Sora. I am you...the same way that I am Sora. You won't remember me but the memories themselves will never vanish. Memories of you and me will always be together...forever, inside him. Just like when me and Axel would end up having sex." Xion said inside Roxas' mind before vanishing.

Later on inside the mansion Roxas can be seen lying underneath the odd machine as Diz and Riku appear.

"So will it work? Is Metal Gear finally destroyed?"

"If we can maintain the VR training town until Nao...er I mean Namine finishes chaining together Sora's memories."

"What will happen to Roxas? Will the Patriots find him?"

"He holds half of Sora's power inside him. Eventually he will have to give it back. Metal Gear and the terrorists must be stopped! Until then he'll need a new personality to throw off the Patriots."

"Too bad...he could have stopped Metal Gear."

"It's the fate of a Nobody of course...now push the action button to be less emo!"

Diz then starts the machine up and Roxas is then turned into data and he then vanishes. Back in the present Roxas' headache stops and he starts to become angry. Roxas summons his Keyblade and starts to hack and slash at Diz's computer monitors which he used to watch old TV shows. Once Roxas' anger dies down a nearby door opens.

"Guys I got a very, very bad feeling about this." Said Donut.

"Like what Donut? A bunch of psychos in ninja garment are going to come in and kill us?" Said Grif.

"Or maybe a group of four hot girls with, red, white, black, and yellow hair with killer melee skills." Said Tucker.

"Jeez that sounds like it would make a terrible web series. I wonder who in their right mind would make such a thing anyway?" Said Church.

"Do we even need to answer that question? Us...obviously!" Said Simmons

Suddenly Church receives a static radio transmission from none other then Wash himself.

"Church this is Agent Washington, can you read me?" Said Wash.

"Yeah and dude do you really need to tell me your full name? Just call yourself Wash, that's what we always call you." Said Church.

"Gotta stick to protocol." Said Wash.

"What fucking protocol? You're not apart of Project Freelancer anymore." Said Church.

"I meant an unofficial rule where even though you're no longer apart of a group, you're still called by your title, it's how it goes. Like how people still call Bush president, and..." Said Wash before being cut off by Church.

"Yeah whatever, we're inside the mansion where Sora is sleeping as you instructed. Now what?" Said Church.

"You're close just find the room and you'll be able to...No Chief don't plant C4 on Tucker and Grif's pods! Alan stop him! What do you mean no?" Said Wash shouting over the radio.

"Oh jeez." Said Church.

"Looks like I'll be waking up to C4 on my face just great." Said Tucker.

"Sorry about that! Anyways, you guys need to find the room and you'll escape plain and simple." Said Wash.

"Yeah just keep that maniac from blowing us up." Said Grif.

"I'll try, but Alan won't play ball, and I'm trying to give you all directions to get out at the same time... FIGMENT! DO NOT LODGE THAT GRENADE UP GRIF'S HELMET!" Wash explained to them.

"This day sucks." Grif sighed.

"No it'll be great once we wake up eh eheheh!" Said Sarge.

"Can you please not scream in my ear Wash? I don't want to have a head...wait can I even get headaches?" Said Church.

"Who knows?" Said Tucker.

Suddenly the radio transmission went silent...

"Fucking great now what do we do?" Said Grif.

"Get out of here and head to the pod chamber." Said Church to everyone.

Suddenly Grif sees food on the floor...

"Hey is that a Snickers bar? Nice! I wonder who dropped it? Eh doesn't matter. Come to Grif!" Said Grif while chasing the Snickers bar. Suddenly the moment he touches it, it explodes sending the space moron into the air.

"Ow...medic!" Grif yelled in pain.

"Guys I don't know what it is but...I feel like this is the last time will see each other again. In case we don't see each other again I just want to let you all know that I'll miss you...especially you Caboose." Roxas told the Reds and Blues.

"Ga...er I mean non heterosexual! OW!" Tucker said before being smacked in the head.

"Sorry Tucker...it was like someone told me to do it." Caboose said after hitting Tucker with his assault rifle.

"I really gotta stop doing, hey is that a Hustler magazine on the ground? DIBS!" Said Tucker while going after the magazine but he accidentally slipped on it causing him to push a red button out of nowhere causing an anvil to drop on his head."Ouch." Said Tucker in pain.

Dear Sora:

Things are really really great now and I'm 100 percent better yep so much so that I don't mind that you're not here in fact. Oh who am I kidding? I'm more miserable now then I was before...Sora I need you now more than ever! I think talking to Cloud was a terrible idea...now I'm even more depressed. Please tell me you're near Hollow Bastion...I don't know how much longer I can take being sad and depressed. I've eaten I don't know how many sea-salt ice cream bars now to try and comfort myself.

Sincerely Yuffie I Think All This Ice Cream Is Going To My Ass, Hips, and Thighs Kisaragi.

"I hope I don't make her kill herself, she's sounding really depressed with each note. I better be careful or she'll become worse than Riku...whoever that is." Said Church.

Later on Roxas goes through the door and enters the Basement Hall and is immediately surrounded by Nobodies. The Reds and Blues had vanished once Roxas walked through the door. Axel then enters the room where Roxas is.

"That was simply amazing Roxas."

"Axel."

"So you really do remember me this time? I'm SO HONOURED! But you're out of time!" Axel said while causing flames to erupt on the edges of the room.

Roxas then summons both the Oblivion and Oathkeeper Keyblades...

"Two?!" Axel says before summoning his chakrams in his hands while smiling.

"Come here. I'll make it all stop."

"...Dude that sounds weird. No offence but I'm kind of already involved with someone already...which is a girl by the way."

"Huh? No wait I didn't mean it like that...DAMN IT! Who the fuck is in charge here? The fucking yaoi community from Deviantart?!"

"Isn't that the whole community of Deviantart just a bunch of teenage yaoi fangirls? Cause I swear all I see there is yaoi pictures and whatnot."

The fight starts and Axel throws his chakrams at Roxas catching his hair on fire. Roxas gets mad and tries to run at Axel but keeps getting hit by fireballs. Roxas manages to finally reach Axel and slashes at him six times with his Keyblade. While swearing at him for catching his hair on fire. Roxas then jumps in the air and then starts whacking Axel in the head six times again with his Keyblades. The young blond ten then starts slashing at Axel again six more times. Axel then vanishes into the fire before jumping out and trying to attack Roxas. Roxas leaps in the air and a green triangle reaction command appears. Roxas performs the reaction command and starts whacking Axel all over his body with his Keyblades. The teen boy then slams Axel on the ground with both Keyblades. Axel then gets up only to bet met by more furious Keyblades slashes in the face by Roxas. Axel goes back into the fire and then jumps out only to be hit in the head by Roxas' Keyblade after throwing it at the red head. The fight was finally over and without the space morons' help...

"Roxas..." Axel said as the flames in the room died down.

Roxas starts to remember the last time he talked to Axel during the events of Days...

"If you get on their bad side they will destroy you!"

"Nobody would miss me...except Rainbow Dash."

"That's not true at all...I would. Stupid ponies..."

"Axel..." Roxas said during the present as Axel started to fade away.

"Let's agree to meet again in the next life."

"Yeah don't worry I'll be waiting."

"Stupid brony...just because you have a next life..." Axel said before vanishing.

Suddenly virus Vile teleports in the moment Axel leaves, he couldn't help but chuckle at Roxas's dismay.

"Well, well! Don't we have a sad little brony here?" Vile taunted him.

"You! You're from the contest! How did you find me?" Roxas asked flabbergasted.

"It's easy to keep track of you and your space morons, speaking of which they don't seem to be here with you a pity! I wanted to crush them all myself. But no matter, I'll find them and finish the job myself. And besides I'm not surprised they ditched you! They'll hang you out to dry and not even regret it. Some friends, if they were any." Vile pointed at him word for word.

"Shut up, they are so my friends they'll never abandon me!" Said Roxas in anger.

"Oh? Then where are they" Said Vile while crossing his arms.

"They..." Roxas looks around, "Just vanished." Said Roxas.

"Figures! Those space morons can't be trusted for anything. I'm surprised you tolerated them for this long." Said Vile.

"Shut up they're my friends...my only friends I think." Said Roxas who is still confused by all what's happened.

Roxas got his Keyblade ready as he went into a defensive position, Vile ran at him full stop, he fired bullets at Roxas from his shoulder cannon. Roxas blocked the bullets with his Keyblade, and dodged some. Vile flipped over him, and kicked his back, causing him to stagger. Roxas held his ground as he turned around, and went after Vile. He slashed at Vile repeatedly, causing him to flinch.

Roxas swiped his torso with ease. Vile staggered but remained firm. Vile fired projectiles at Roxas from his shoulder cannon, some striked Roxas, damaging him, while evading others. Vile tossed some grenades, at him all frags. Roxas managed to scoop some and throw them back at Vile.

Vile got hit, and was damaged, several ash marks can be seen on his robotic body. Roxas ran at him, slashing at him swiftly. Vile took some hits, but then blocked with a built in force field. He cackled as he pimped slapped him, causing him to hit the wall. Roxas got back on his feet and went after Vile again.

Vile sidestepped Roxas' attack and punched the back of his head, or tried to as Roxas accidentally fell to the floor by mistake, causing Vile to facepalm in disbelief. Roxas took the moment when he facepalmed to get back up, and strike Vile again, giving him 7 strikes. Vile took some serious damage as his armour started to show cracks and sparks, plus his energy level was declining more rapidly. However Vile promised himself he would hold out to the end no matter what and kill Roxas. Not that it matters much reader as this is just a virus version of Vile, and the real one will be OK for the duration of the story.

Vile fired a volley of missiles at him, creating a storm of torpedoes being fired at Roxas. Roxas got struck by some, getting wounded in the process. He landed face first, but saw some more incoming, and ran out of harms way the best he could. Roxas got up and threw his Keyblade at Vile, slicing off his robot arm.

"AAGH! My arm! My fucking arm!" Said Vile as he kneeled in pain, "Motherfucker!"

"No swearing it's not the brony way!" Said Roxas as he stabbed Vile with his Keyblades, virus Vile then promptly vanished.

After defeating Axel and virus Vile Roxas exits the room and walks through the basement corridor. He sees eight pods with some familiar faces in them. It was Donald, Goofy, Tucker, Caboose, Sarge, Simmons, Grif, and Donut. The versions of the Reds and Blues that were with Roxas were just data and not real just like in Saints Row 4 reader.

"Donald? Walt Disney? No wait that's just Goofy. Tucker? Caboose? Sarge? Simmons? Grif? Donut?"

Roxas turns to the door at the end of the hall and enters. Diz can be seen standing in a completely bright room in front of a single large pod.

"At last the Keyblade's chosen one...you're finally ready to defeat the Patriots."

"Who the hell are you talking to? Me? Or Sora?"

"To half of Sora of course. You reside in darkness. What I really need is somebody who can move about the realm of light and destroy the terrorists...er I mean Organization XIII."

"Why? Who the hell are you?"

"I am a servant of the world. And if I'm a servant then you should consider yourself a tool of the government at best."

"Was that suppose to be funny? Cause I'm not laughing!" Roxas told Diz before striking through him with the Keyblade.

"Apologies this is only a data projection. I can't risk the Patriots finding me." Diz told Roxas.

"ARGH!" Roxas yells in anger before repeatedly slashing through Diz over and over again.

"Come over here." Diz told Roxas after vanishing and then reappearing behind him.

"I hate you more than the anti-bronies hate MLP!"

"You should consider sharing some of that hatred with Sora. He's way too nice and gullible for his own good. I need scissors 61!"

"Hell no my heart belongs to me!" Roxas said before slicing through Diz again.

Diz then vanishes and Sora's pod starts to glow and the mechanical petals open slowly and reveal Sora still same way he was at the end of CoM.

"Sora. You're one lucky bastard. Looks like my Summer vacation is finally...over." Roxas said as Sora can be seen still asleep and floating inside his pod.

**Red vs Blue: The Kingdom Hearts 2 Saga**

Over at the real Twilight Town at the train station King Mickey wearing his Organization XIII coat can be seen exiting a gold and blue train. Back at Sora's pod Roxas turns around and fades to white.

"Sora?" Roxas says one last time before vanishing.

"Who the fuck is there? Donald? Goofy? Church? Caboose? Tucker? Tex?" Sora said groggily while still half asleep in his pod.

**Achievement unlocked:**

**100G – Just Like Old Times...**

**To Be Continued...**

**Next Time Episode 7: Welcome Back Sora...**


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